Thursday, May 7

A full day of one to one meetings with people making this retreat in daily life, and while this has been a real joy for me to be present to people in their growing and stretching in relationship with God, the day began with some very sad news. A young couple whose wedding I did a few years ago was expecting their second child. In fact, my friend was due to give birth next week. Sadly, in a check up, the doctors discovered that the baby's heart was not beating, and then found that the umbilical cord was in a knot.

It is hard to reconcile how it is that on one hand, some people are given a lifetime for learning, growing, and realizing their potential--with all the circumstances seemingly in favor of their thriving, and then others do not even get the chance to begin their journey, or face circumstances so challenging that it would seem nearly impossible that they could surmount these obstacles and flourish. I suppose this is one was of framing the age old question/mystery of the theodicy, the difficulty of reconciling a "good" and omnipotent God with the reality of suffering in the world.

Naturally, we try to understand our experiences by asking "why?" yet, no answer comes, or the responses we get from others fail to satisfy us if even we can tolerate the sometimes inane things people say in their desire to console us.

In the face of such experiences, I find that words generally fail, and that in some way, it may actually be better to imitate God's silence... a silence that is not of absence, but rather of full hearted and loving presence-- the kind of presence that reassures, consoles, and enfolds us like a firm embrace. Of course, there may be an act of faith involved here-- to hold steady in one's belief in God's goodness despite the painful reality that one is experiencing at the moment. Yes, this is faith indeed.