Pentecost

As we come to the end of the Easter Season with the celebration of Pentecost tomorrow, I wanted to share a beautiful invocation of the Holy Spirit that we used for prayer in the past few days. It was written by St. Symeon the New Theologian, a tenth century poet and mystic in the Greek Orthodox tradition who believed that we can and should experience God directly. In fact, he reportedly suggested that if we do not taste eternal life here and now, we will not experience it after we die. More positively, he believed that we can come to this experience through contemplative prayer when we withdraw from the world of the senses and arrive at a profound interior stillness. Here is his prayer for the Holy Spirit:

Invocation of the Holy Spirit

Come, true light.
Come, life eternal.
Come, hidden mystery.
Come, treasure without name.

Come, reality beyond all words.
Come, person beyond all understanding.
Come, rejoicing without end.
Come, light that knows no evening.

Come, unfailing expectation of the saved.
Come, raising of the fallen.
Come, resurrection of the dead.
Come, all-powerful, for unceasingly you create, refashion and change all things by your will alone.

Come, for your name fills our hearts with longing, and is ever on our lips.
Come, for you are yourself the desire that is within me.
Come, my breath and my life.
Come, the consolation of my humble soul.

Come, my joy, my glory, my endless delight.

St. Symeon the New Theologian

Catching Up!

So, those three weeks in the rural city of Mildura seemed simultaneously to whiz by, while at the same time, it felt as though I had been there years by the time I left. I guess life in a small town can be like that, no? And talk about small towns and it being a small world, a crazy coincidence. When I flew from Sydney to Melbourne on my way out there to Mildura, who did I run into in the line for the flight but one of three people I happened to know in Australia. Venerable Robina Courtin, pictured above, is an Australian born Tibetan Buddhist nun-- we met in NYC a few years back when she was there to do some teaching, and then accompanying Lama Zopa Rinpoche, a much loved Tibetan Buddhist holy man. Robina does fundraising for a variety of social causes and is one amazing bundle of energy! We had a great time sitting on the plane, completely absorbed in conversation and fairly oblivious to anything going on around us-- one of those wonderful serendipitous meetings. As a former Catholic (does anyone really stop being Catholic?), she shared marvelous insights about the Eucharist, and about living as a celibate. Hopefully we'll connect again now that I'm in Sydney for a few weeks.



In this picture above, many of the 26 retreatants from our Retreat in Daily Life are pictured as we celebrated their experience of the three weeks. What a grace it was to accompany 14 people through their experience of drawing close to God through the practice of daily meditation and contemplation... of their allowing God the freedom to give Godself to each of them in a loving and personal way. While I have given hundreds of retreats over the years, it never ceases to amaze me how God works in people's lives in such a way that their freedom is never compromised, but rather, God's love leads people away from the traps and limits of their false selves into a new and more abundant kind of life. This new life is more self-accepting, compassionate, open to growth, and free for commitment, creativity, relationship, and service of others.

One of the challenges of giving retreats is of getting to know people very quickly, loving them and then having to say goodbye. There is a bit of ascetism in this... staying out of God's way, giving people the resources to help themselves, not trying to fix people or situations, or claiming credit for "success." I still have some learning and growing to do around all of this. But this retreat in particular reassured me of how powerfully God can work with people when they are ripe for change, and this was breathtaking to witness.

Pictured above are some of my new friends from Mildura. Anne Marie DiMasi (grey jacket), her sister Melina (green jacket), and Melina's husband Nick Conte, and their daughter Vittoria (a little shy with the paparazzi). Anne Marie and Melina were both on the retreat and invited me to their homes for some fantastic Italian feasts. It didn't take long to feel like family-- they even let me cook in their kitchen!

That particular day was the high point of the three weeks in many ways, as we visited a World Heritage Site called Mungo, 110 km NE of Mildura. Haven't heard of Mungo? Neither have many Mildurans, but it is considered a site of immense importance in terms of anthropology. It is the site of the Willandra lake chain, a now dry inland sea, where there are remains of Aboriginal life that go back 40,000 years. In the picture below, I am kneeling at a site where Aboriginal people had a firepit around that old. Quite amazing!


In the next few days, I will share a bit about the few days in Melbourne, and then what we're up to these days as we begin to reflect on the connections between faith and justice.

Back from Melbourne

Just got back from Melbourne where I spent a few days with several of the other tertians... will write a few catch up posts in the next few days to wrap up the experience giving retreats, and to share some pictures from the adventures.

Reflections on Shadow Work

For some reason, the text was wonky (another expression from down unda!) in the last post. If you couldn't read it, here it is again.

My Thoughts on Work with our Shadows

Shadow work takes a lifetime and is never done.

Holiness is not rigidity or perfection, but a profound acceptance of God’s loving embrace of our whole selves, including our shadows. So growth is more a matter of transcending and including our old patterns, habits, and previously disowned characteristics, rather than ever leaving them entirely behind us.

The more close we come to God, paradoxically, the more aware we are of our shadows. This is the experience of many saints and holy people throughout history. Imagine God’s love as a spotlight on a rose… the brighter the light, the more distinct the shadow becomes. This, however, need not lead us into neurosis, but rather, to humility, gratitude, and a profound compassion for others.

Shadow work suggests that a purity that is not also earthy is suspect. Consider that the word “humility” shares the same roots as “humus,” “humor,” and “human.”

Shadow work should seldom be undertaken alone, but is well supported by a skillful counselor, a mature spiritual director, a wise friend.

Shadow work is not linear, concrete, or predictable, but requires that we live with ambiguity- exploring dreams, symbols, and experiences filled with mystery.

Shadow work is often facilitated when we have loving friends who can share their perspectives gently and honestly. How poorly served we can be if our so called friends only offer us compliments?

Shadow work helps us to recognize the way that we project aspects of ourselves on others, and in turn, helps us to see how people project both “bad” and “good” qualities on us. As a result, it can help us avoid taking things so personally. This is also why it is the people who do truly know us can hurt us so deeply. So be kind to one another.

For people with a low self-esteem, it is often the case that shadow characteristics include hidden gifts, strengths, and so called “enviable” qualities found in others. For people with exaggerated self-esteem, it is often the case that shadow characteristics include essential vulnerabilities such as sensitivity to others, the feeling of one’s own emotional need, and the capacity to depend in a healthy way on others.

Because shadow work is so delicate, it is important to be aware of our motives for doing it in the first place. If our motive is not to respond in a more loving way to the infinite love of God for us as we are, then our motive may be an egoistic desire for perfection. Let our motive be that of love.

Each of our shadows has a story to tell and a gift to offer us if we are willing to pay attention. So pay attention!

My Thoughts on Shadow Work

My Thoughts on Work with our Shadows

Shadow work takes a lifetime and is never done.

Holiness is not rigidity or perfection, but a profound acceptance of God’s loving embrace of our whole selves, including our shadows. So growth is more a matter of transcending and including our old patterns, habits, and previously disowned characteristics, rather than ever leaving them entirely behind us.

The more close we come to God, paradoxically, the more aware we are of our shadows. This is the experience of many saints and holy people throughout history. Imagine God’s love as a spotlight on a rose… the brighter the light, the more distinct the shadow becomes. This, however, need not lead us into neurosis, but rather, to humility, gratitude, and a profound compassion for others.

Shadow work suggests that a purity that is not also earthy is suspect. Consider that the word “humility” shares the same roots as “humus,” “humor,” and “human.”

Shadow work should seldom be undertaken alone, but is well supported by a skillful counselor, a mature spiritual director, a wise friend.

Shadow work is not linear, concrete, or predictable, but requires that we live with ambiguity- exploring dreams, symbols, and experiences filled with mystery.

Shadow work is often facilitated when we have loving friends who can share their perspectives gently and honestly. How poorly served we can be if our so called friends only offer us compliments?

Shadow work helps us to recognize the way that we project aspects of ourselves on others, and in turn, helps us to see how people project both “bad” and “good” qualities on us. As a result, it can help us avoid taking things so personally. This is also why it is the people who do truly know us can hurt us so deeply. So be kind to one another.

For people with a low self-esteem, it is often the case that shadow characteristics include hidden gifts, strengths, and so called “enviable” qualities found in others. For people with exaggerated self-esteem, it is often the case that shadow characteristics include essential vulnerabilities such as sensitivity to others, the feeling of one’s own emotional need, and the capacity to depend in a healthy way on others.

Because shadow work is so delicate, it is important to be aware of our motives for doing it in the first place. If our motive is not to respond in a more loving way to the infinite love of God for us as we are, then our motive may be an egoistic desire for perfection. Let our motive be that of love.

Each of our shadows has a story to tell and a gift to offer us if we are willing to pay attention. So pay attention!

Integrating the Shadow: A Method

Shadow Work

The following is a brief description of the process by which we dissociate from shadow elements of our personality and experience, followed by a method for helping to re-integrate those disowned elements of ourselves.

The 1-2-3 Dissociative Process

• In the first phase, we experience but reject the shadow characteristic
• In the second phase we project the shadow outside of ourselves
• In the third phase, the shadow becomes an “it,” an object separate from us.

The 3-2-1 Integrative Process- a means of identifying and re-owning the dis-identified and repressed elements.

The 3-2-1 Shadow Work Process, Integral Life Practice (2008), Wilber, Patten, Leonard, & Morelli (pp. 50-51)

Two ways of identifying the Shadow:

• “Makes you negatively hypersensitive, easily triggered, reactive, irritated, angry, hurt, or upset. Or it may keep coming up as an emotional tone or mood that pervades your life.” (p. 50)
• “Makes you positively hypersensitive, easily infatuated, possessive, envious, over attracted, or becomes an ongoing idealization that structures your motivations or moods.” (p. 50)

1- Face it
Observe the disturbance closely and then using a journal, or the “empty chair” describe the person, situation, or sensation in vivid detail using 3rd person pronouns such as “he,” “him,” “she,” “her,” “it,” “they,” etc. In order to bring the disturbance to light, you might intentionally exaggerate what bothers you most by using as much detail as possible.

2- Talk to It
Enter into a simulated dialogue with this object of awareness using 2nd person pronouns (“you” and “yours”). This is your opportunity to enter into relationship with the disturbance, so talk directly to the person, situation, image, or sensation in your awareness. You may begin by asking questions like, “who/what are you?” “What do you need to tell me?” “What gift are you bringing me?” Using your imagination, allow the disturbance to respond back to you, allowing yourself to be surprised by what emerges in the dialogue.

3- Be It
Now writing or speaking in the 1st person, using the pronouns “I,” “me,” “mine,” be the person, situation, image, or sensation that you have been exploring. See the world, including yourself, entirely from the perspective of that disturbance and allow yourself to discover not only your similarities, but how you are really one and the same. Finally, make a statement of identification: “I am _____” or “_____ is me.” It is natural to feel resistant to accepting this because after all, this is what your psyche has been resisting for quite some time.

It is very important to move from an intellectual to an affective acceptance of the disowned elements, so that the process of integration can be completed. Once this occurs, you may notice a felt sensation of expansion, of increased energy, a sense of peaceful and grounded wholeness.

Reflections and Scriptures Related to Shadow Work

Reflections and Scriptures Related to Shadow Work

“In order to find God in ourselves, we must stop looking at ourselves, stop checking and verifying ourselves in the mirror of our own futility, and be content to be in Him and to do whatever He wills, according to our limitations, judging our acts not in the light of our own illusions, but in the light of His reality which is all around us in the things and people we live with.”

Thomas Merton, No Man is an Island

“All seek peace first of all with themselves. That is necessary, because we do not naturally find rest even in our own being. We have to learn to commune with ourselves before we can communicate with other men and with God. A person who is not at peace with himself necessarily projects his interior fighting into the society of those he lives with, and spreads a contagion of conflict all around him."

Thomas Merton, No Man is an Island

Luke 6:41 We are Hypocrites, Naturally; Be the Change You Want to See in Others

“Why do you see the speck in your neighbor's eye, but do not notice the log in your own eye? Or how can you say to your neighbor, 'Friend, let me take out the speck in your eye,' when you yourself do not see the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your neighbor's eye.”

Luke 11:24-26 The Danger in Willful Repression of the Shadow

"When the unclean spirit has gone out of a man, he passes through waterless places seeking rest; and finding none he says, `I will return to my house from which I came.'
And when he comes he finds it swept and put in order. Then he goes and brings seven other spirits more evil than himself, and they enter and dwell there; and the last state of that man becomes worse than the first."

Luke 6:37 Avoid Judging; Forgive and Be Forgiven

"Do not judge, and you will not be judged; and do not condemn, and you will not be condemned; pardon, and you will be pardoned.”

Luke 11:34 The Light of a Person is in their Looking

“When the eye is full of light, so one’s whole being is filled with light… But when one’s eye is dark, so too one’s whole being is filled with darkness.”

The Dynamics of Shadows and Projection

Jung's theory suggests that shadows are generated when we exert energy to hide and repress undesirable or frightening qualities in ourselves... aspects that we do not see or want to see as part of our persona, the personality-image that we present to the world. These may be traits that we've been taught to fear, or dislike (i.e. neediness, emotional vulnerability, sexual urges, jealousy, the "Seven Deadly Sins," etc), or perhaps they are traits that lie in potency but that we have yet to recognize and develop (personal power, independence, charisma, sociability, the "Seven Virtues," etc).

Whether in the case of the traits we have disowned out of fear or dislike, or the case of traits that we have not yet discovered, when we encounter people who trigger our shadow, we tend to project our disowned traits on them, with the effect of exaggerating their own traits. In other words, a person may have their own share of vanity, or materialism, but we add ours to theirs and all of the sudden they seem to embody these shadows for us (often to the exclusion of other aspects of their personalities). If our projection upon them involves our "negative" traits, this usually generates some degree of aversion to this person. If our projection upon another person involves our undiscovered "positive" traits, we may find ourselves unusually enamoured, fascinated by, envious of, or dependent on them.

Here are some examples of what symptoms we might report, and what is going on at the subconscious level of our shadow.


Examples of Symptoms and Shadows

Symptom Shadow Form

Rejection (nobody likes me) Rejection (I reject them)
Guilt Resentment of another’s demands on me
Anxiety Excitement
Sadness (women) Anger
Feeling Mad (men) Feeling Sad
Obligation “I have to” Desire “I want to”
Envy “I’m better than I realize”
Dependency Autonomy

Notice that in the case of some of the symptoms, there may be differences based on gender socialization, for instance, in many cultures, men are discouraged from expressing sadness, and instead, manifest a more socially acceptable emotion, anger. By the same token, women are often socialized in such a way that discourages their expression of anger, or of power, and in turn, they manifest sadness, even depression.

Stay tuned for ways of integrating these shadows for the sake of greater personal wholeness and healthier interpersonal relationships.

Just What Is Shadow Work Anyway?

So, these past several posts refer to work with our shadows, but what am I really talking about? Using terms taken from Jungian psychology, I am referring to the disowned aspects and dimensions of our personalities that we tend to hide and repress in order to present instead our preferred characteristics. Our preferred characteristics become a sort of persona or mask-- By mask, I am not suggesting that these characteristics are false, but simply that they are not the whole story of who we are. A few brief words on the premises of this presentation:

Psychology and Spirituality

Psychology and Spirituality as complimentary so long as we are willing to hold the both/and complimentarity of nature and grace. While psychology will never totally comprehend, let alone explain our spiritual lives, it can nonetheless shed some valuable light on our experience.
There will always be limits to any psychological theory, just as there are limits in theology and spirituality.


Jung on the Spiritual Journey of the Self

• The spiritual maturation of the self is a process of evolving integration of opposites, i.e. masculine (animus) & feminine (anima) qualities, and persona & shadow.
• Self-realization leads to self-transcendence (not selfishness)
• The persona is the idealized self that we prefer the world sees
• The shadow contains the mirror qualities of the persona, disowned and dis-identified, left in our blind-spot, though very influential on us and on our relationships.

Personal reflection and Exercise

Identify the characteristics of your persona and of your shadow (to the best of your ability); Describe the traits of one person who tends to “get under your skin.”

My persona, the characteristics that I prefer people to see in me:



My shadow, the mirroring characteristics that I know I would prefer people not see:




While the shadows described above are the ones we know about already, in order to illuminate the shadows in our “blind spot, “ describe the characteristics of just one person who “gets under your skin.”



Stay tuned for the next couple of posts and feel free to comment/ask questions.

Another Reflection on Seeing and Embracing Our Whole Selves, Shadows Included

This reflection by 19th century poet Gerard Manley Hopkins, S.J. describes the miraculous process through which God calls each of us into our uniqueness. It conveys the graced sentiment that truly, the privilege of a lifetime is becoming our true selves, including both our lights and shadows. As in his poetry, Hopkins plays around with grammar and syntax, so it might take a few reads.

“Selving”

I find myself both as man and as myself something most determined and distinctive, at pitch, myself with my pleasures and pains, my powers and my experiences, my deserts and guilt, my shame and sense of beauty, my dangers, hopes, fears, and all my fate, more important to myself than anything I see.

And when I ask where this throng and stack of beings, so rich, so distinctive, so important, come from /nothing I see can answer me. And this whether I speak of human nature of or anything in the world, can have been developed, evolved, condensed, from the vastness of the world not anyhow or by the working of common powers but only by one of finer or higher pitch and determination than itself and certainly than any that elsewhere we see (in other words, God), for this power had to force forward the starting or stubborn elements to the one pitch required.

And this is much more true when we consider the mind; when I consider my self-being, my consciousness and feeling of myself, that taste of myself, of I and me above and in all things, which is more distinctive than the taste of ale or alum, more distinctive than the smell of walnut-leaf or camphor, and is incommunicable by any means to another man (as when I was a child I used to ask myself: What must it be to be someone else?). Nothing else in nature comes near this unspeakable stress of pitch, distinctiveness, and selving, this self-being of my own. Nothing explains it or resembles it, except so far as this, that other men to themselves have the same feeling.

Devlin C. S.J. (Ed) 1959. The Sermons and Devotional Writings of Gerard Manley Hopkins. London: Oxford University Press p.123

Reflections and Scripture Related to Shadow Work

Reflections and Scriptures Related to Shadow Work

“In order to find God in ourselves, we must stop looking at ourselves, stop checking and verifying ourselves in the mirror of our own futility, and be content to be in Him and to do whatever He wills, according to our limitations, judging our acts not in the light of our own illusions, but in the light of His reality which is all around us in the things and people we live with.”

Thomas Merton, No Man is an Island

“All seek peace first of all with themselves. That is necessary, because we do not naturally find rest even in our own being. We have to learn to commune with ourselves before we can communicate with other men and with God. A person who is not at peace with himself necessarily projects his interior fighting into the society of those he lives with, and spreads a contagion of conflict all around him. Even when he tried to do good to others, his efforts are hopeless, since he does not know how to do good himself.”

Thomas Merton, No Man is an Island

Luke 6:41 We are Hypocrites, Naturally; So Be the Change You Want to See in Others

“Why do you see the speck in your neighbor's eye, but do not notice the log in your own eye? Or how can you say to your neighbor, 'Friend, let me take out the speck in your eye,' when you yourself do not see the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your neighbor's eye.” Jesus of Nazareth

Luke 11:24-26 The Danger in Willful Repression of the Shadow

"When the unclean spirit has gone out of a man, he passes through waterless places seeking rest; and finding none he says, `I will return to my house from which I came.'
And when he comes he finds it swept and put in order. Then he goes and brings seven other spirits more evil than himself, and they enter and dwell there; and the last state of that man becomes worse than the first." Jesus of Nazareth

Luke 6:37 Avoid Judging; Forgive and Be Forgiven

"Do not judge, and you will not be judged; and do not condemn, and you will not be condemned; pardon, and you will be pardoned.” Jesus of Nazareth

Luke 11:34 The Light of a Person is in their Looking

“When the eye is full of light, so one’s whole being is filled with light… But when one’s eye is dark, so too one’s whole being is filled with darkness.” Jesus of Nazareth

Second Workshop in Applied Spirtuality: Exploring the Shadow

Wow, these days of six and seven hours of spiritual direction have kept me occupied, so I've been remiss with the blog. Hope that you've found the material on discernment useful? Tomorrow night I am giving a workshop on what I believe to be one of the most important but also the most overlooked elements of the spiritual life: how we deal with our shadows. By shadows, I am referring to what Carl Jung identified as those elements of our personalities that we tend to disown, and consequentially, which we also tend to project on others. More heavy stuff, I know, but hopefully of service to people in their spiritual growth and personal maturation.

As we look at the situation in our world today, I have a strong feeling that when we try to make a positive difference, we need to follow Jesus' suggestion that we remove the 2x4 out of our own eye before trying to take the speck out of our neighbor's. Do you know what I am talking about? Another way of thinking about the primacy of own own inner work is inspired by Gandhi's quote, "be the change that you want to see in the world." Otherwise as we try to change others, or fix broken systems and organizations, we unwittingly recreate, even replicate the same problems we had intended to fix (think, for instance, of the ways that political revolutions swing from one extreme to the next, or the way that interventions in organizations often create a more subtle but nonetheless mirrorlike reflection of the original dysfunctions. Make sense?

While I will end the workshop with some poetry, I thought that tonight I would begin with one of those poems: In a Dark Time, by Theodore Roethke.

In a Dark Time

In a dark time, the eye begins to see,
I meet my shadow in the deepening shade;
I hear my echo in the echoing wood--
A lord of nature weeping to a tree.
I live between the heron and the wren,
Beasts of the hill and serpents of the den.

What's madness but nobility of soul
At odds with circumstance? The day's on fire!
I know the purity of pure despair,
My shadow pinned against a sweating wall.

That place among the rocks--is it a cave,
Or winding path? The edge is what I have.
A steady storm of correspondences!
A night flowing with birds, a ragged moon,
And in broad day the midnight come again!

A man goes far to find out what he is--
Death of the self in a long, tearless night,
All natural shapes blazing unnatural light.
Dark, dark my light, and darker my desire.

My soul, like some heat-maddened summer fly,
Keeps buzzing at the sill. Which I is I?
A fallen man, I climb out of my fear.
The mind enters itself, and God the mind,
And one is One, free in the tearing wind.

Theodore Roethke, Eight American Poets

Back to some Aussie Slang

I know, four days on Ignatian Discernment might feel a little heavy, so here's a little comic relief. Back to the Aussie slang for a day or two.

D
Dag : a funny person, nerd, goof
Daks : trousers
Damper : bread made from flour and water
Date : arse ("get off your fat date")
Dead dingo's donger, as dry as a : dry
Dead horse : Tomato sauce
Deadset : true, the truth
Dero : tramp, hobo, homeless person (from "derelict")
Digger : a soldier
Dill : an idiot
Dingo's breakfast : a yawn, a leak and a good look round (i.e. no breakfast)
Dinkum, fair dinkum : true, real, genuine ("I'm a dinkum Aussie"; "is he fair dinkum?")
Dinky-di : the real thing, genuine
Dipstick : a loser, idiot
Divvy van : Police vehicle used for transporting criminals. Named after the protective 'division' between the driver and the villains.
Dob (somebody) in : inform on somebody. Hence dobber, a tell-tale
Docket : a bill, receipt
Doco : documentary
Dog : unattractive woman
Dog's balls, stands out like : obvious
Dog's eye : meat pie
Dole bludger : somebody on social assistance when unjustified

Down Under : Australia and New Zealand
Drink with the flies : to drink alone
Drongo : a dope, stupid person
Dropkick : see 'dipstick'
Drum : information, tip-off ("I'll give you the drum")
Duchess : sideboard
Duffer, cattle : rustler
Dummy, spit the : get very upset at something
Dunny : outside lavatory
Dunny budgie : blowfly
Dunny rat, cunning as a : very cunning
Durry : tobacco, cigarette
Dux : top of the class (n.); to be top of the class (v.) - "She duxed four of her subjects".

E
Earbashing : nagging, non-stop chatter
Ekka : the Brisbane Exhibition, an annual show
Esky : large insulated food/drink container for picnics, barbecues etc.
Exy : expensive

F
Face, off one's : drunk ("He was off his face by 9pm")
Fair dinkum : true, genuine
Fair go : a chance ("give a bloke a fair go")
Fair suck of the sav! : exclamation of wonder, awe, disbelief (see also "sav")
Fairy floss : candy floss, cotton candy
Feral : V8 ute (q.v.) sporting large heavy bullbar, numerous aerials, large truck mudflaps and stickers almost all over the rear window and tailgate. Sometimes seen with a Mack emblem on the bonnet and always with large (multiple) driving lights
Feral (n.) : a hippie
Figjam : "F*ck I'm good; just ask me". Nickname for people who have a high opinion of themselves
Fisho : fishmonger
Flake : shark's flesh (sold in fish & chips shops)
Flat out like a lizard drinking : flat out, busy
Flick : to give something or somebody the flick is to get rid of it or him/her
Flick it on : to sell something, usually for a quick profit, soon after buying it.
Fly wire : gauze flyscreen covering a window or doorway.
Footy : Australian Rules football
Fossick : search, rummage ("fossicking through the kitchen drawers")
Fossick : to prospect, e.g. for gold
Fossicker : prospector, e.g. for gold

Fremantle Doctor : the cooling afternoon breeze that arrives in Perth from the direction of Freeo
Freo : Fremantle in Western Australia
Frog in a sock, as cross as a : sounding angry - a person or your hard drive!
Fruit loop : fool
Full : drunk

Discernment and Decision Making Part 4

Excerpts from Listening Hearts: Discerning Call in Community, by Farnham, Gill, McLean & Ward (1991)

In discernment we move through and beyond our feelings, our thoughts, and our reasoning about what God wants of us, to be led by God’s Spirit toward action.

Discernment of call involves intuition and insight, “…for that which has not been told them, they shall see, and that which they have not heard, they shall understand” (Isaiah 52:15; RSV). As we respond in faith and action, we gain insight.

Discernment is often tentative and uncertain. We may not feel a great sense of having found the truth… Ultimately, discernment requires our willingness to act in faith on our sense of what God wants us to do. Then the way reveals itself in response to our faith.

God speaks, touches, and reveals in God’s own way and in God’s own time. Still, the presence of certain conditions, such as trust, prayer, and patience, makes discernment of God’s call more likely… It is God’s call, not mere decision making, that we seek.

In order to discern which path is authentic, all involved need to desire to know God, to be willing to be pervaded by God’s presence. We need to go through a process that cleanses our vision to see what is true and frees our will to act on what we see. Here are some ways we may prepare to hear God’s call.

Trust: we have to be willing to trust God and one another.

Listening: Discernment involves listening. We must listen with open hearts and minds, especially to what we don’t want to hear. We must let go of our preconceptions and expectations… We need to listen with our bodies as well as our minds… We must listen in silence.

Prayer: Prayer for discernment involves listening. Through prayer we seek for ourselves total attentiveness to the all-embracing presence of Christ. For Christ is found in the circumstances, the people, and the things of daily life.

Knowledge of Scripture: Scripture is central to discerning call. It gives us access to the experience of God’s people in history. Moreover, as the living Word of God, Scripture continues to communicate with us.

Humility: Humility, grounded in self-knowledge, helps us to avoid the distortions of both inordinate self-confidence and exaggerated self-doubt. A humble person is someone who is without pretense, down to earth… An attitude of humility allows us to accept dependence on God and one another and to be open to God’s turning us in a new or unexpected direction.

Patience and Urgency: It is God’s call, not our call. So we need to be patient… Still, while patience is called for at times, a sense of urgency is sometime imperative.

Perspective: Do not make an idol of discernment. “The only priority worth having is knowing and loving God. Stay in the space of Love. Do not be lured out of it.” If discernment follows, fine; if not, so be it. Let it rest lightly. “Release your discernment from your ego and expectations. Flow as a stream that is useful to those who can take” from it and is “in no way diminished by those who can’t.”

At the same time, “Be true to what is inside. Put weight on it. Live by it. Hold it with sufficient tentativeness to be open to others…and with sufficient tenacity to live it out until moved differently.”

Seeking God does not demand the unusual, the spectacular, the heroic. It is in the hear and now, the ordinary situation of normal life, that we find God. A true call is likely to be modest in scope. If we try to save the world, we become immobilized.

Obstacles to discernment can arise from:
1. Cultural values that do not reflect God’s values
2. Prosperity- remember the rich man who is possessed by his possessions
3. Self-interest- God’s will usually involves other people’s interests as well
4. Self-absorption- the world is bigger than us.
5. Self-righteousness- this arrogance is a sense of being separate from others on moral grounds
6. Desire for security- remember, the foxes have lairs and birds have nests,
but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head.
7. Desire for certainty- faith is not certainly but the courage to act in the face of uncertainty.
8. Human time frames- these must give God a chuckle. Impatience is a major impediment to
discernment.
9. Self-doubt- we must trust in ourselves as well as God

Signs of God’s call to watch for:
1. Peace and serenity that endures through ups and downs
2. Joy
3. A temporary experience of disorientation, followed by calm and serenity
4. Tears that are comforting and tranquilizing, rather than disturbing and fatiguing
5. A sudden sense of clarity
6. Strands of experience that seem unrelated begin to converge and fit together
7. Persistence of a message that keeps recurring through different channels

The real test is not how much we want to do something but how much love is a part of what we want to do.

Discernment and Decision Making Part 3

Suggestions from IGNATIUS OF LOYOLA’S PROCESS FOR DECISION MAKING

This is one of several methods that Ignatius recommended for decision making and he recommended it for those times when we do not experience a lot of feeling/inclination one way or another, or feel some ambivalence about our choice. Often this is because we are trying to choose between two or more "goods."

1. The first point is to focus my attention on the choice or decision that I want to make, whether it is to undertake a new responsibility, a decision about a relationship, to move to a different place, or whatever other kind of choice it may be.

2. I recall that I have been created by God to give God praise through the flourishing of my life. I seek to find the freedom of indifference, not to be influenced by any disordered attachments so that I am not more disposed one way or another in the matter of my choice. I try to imagine myself like the scales in a balance, in poised equanimity, ready to follow the course that is most aligned with my life’s ultimate purpose.

3. I rely on God to move my will and reveal to my soul how I might best make a choice in harmony with God’s will. After examining the matter thoroughly and conscientiously, I make a decision that is aligned with God’s will, as best as I understand it.

4. I will use my reason to carefully weigh both the advantages and disadvantages involved in both sides of my choices.

5. After weighing the matter carefully, examining it from every angle, I will consider what alternative appears the most reasonable. Acting on the basis of my reason, rather than any other factors, I come to a decision in the matter.

6. After the decision has been reached, I present this choice to God for confirmation, provided it is intended for God’s greater service and praise. Confirmation may come in a variety of forms, particularly feelings of peace, energy, a deepened sense of integrity, etc.

If there is still a sense of ambivalence, he recommends three “thought experiments”:

a. Imagine a person who you do not know and who is facing the same choice. How would you counsel them?

b. Imagine yourself on your death bed and consider that you would wish to have chosen.

c. Imagine that you meet Christ after death, he who loved you to the end, and he asks you to share with him the decision you have made.

Once we have done our best to make a good discernment, Ignatius recommended we proceed by executing our choice with peace in knowing that we did our best, and in confidence in God’s loving kindness for us. We are also recommended to avoid suggesting that we know God’s will with any certitude, but nonetheless to have humble confidence in our choices.

Discernment and Decision Making Part 2

This is the second post on the topic of discernment and decision making... As mentioned in the previous post, it is very helpful if we know whether we are head, heart, or gut centered decision makers. While we might be very lucky in our tendency to use one of these "energy centers" for making decisions, we might also try blending head, heart, and gut in the way we sort through and make life choices.

ARE WE HEAD, HEART, OR GUT CENTERED?

Depending on whether we tend to make decisions based on our heads, our hearts, or our guts, we may want to stretch ourselves by paying attention to the dimensions we often neglect. For example, if I tend to make decisions in a cool, rational manner, I might also want to pay attention to what my heart and my gut tell me. Consider the following questions.

HEAD

• What are the practical considerations that have to be taken into account in the decision you are to make?
• What facts are known? What is unknown?
• What are the limits of the resources available?
• What are the logical or predicable outcomes of each option I am considering?
• What are the advantages and disadvantages of each option?

HEART

• What are the values at stake in the options available to me?
• Do I have any strong or subtle feelings regarding the different options?
• Do I have a sense of consolation or desolation regarding the possible outcomes of my choices?
• Do the choices I am considering reflect my life’s passions and aspirations, my beliefs and convictions?
• How are other people going to be affected by my choice?

GUT

• Do I have any instinctive responses to the options I am facing?
• Is my intuition inclining me in one direction or the other?
• Is there any immediate reaction or impulse I experienced when I discovered I had a choice to make?
• Is my body telling me anything—a sense of relaxation or tension? Where is my physical energy—up or down?

OTHER RESOURCES

• We might also find it helpful to pay attention to our dreams
• Do I notice coincidences regarding my choices, for instance in the timing of things?
• Do I notice a sense of serendipity (a meaningful correlation between the choices I am making and the way simultaneous events are unfolding around me?

Discernment and Decision Making

We're into the second week of this retreat in daily life for 25 parishioners here at Sacred Heart in Mildura... I'm enjoying the experience of one to one spiritual direction very much. It is hard not to be deeply moved listening to the ordinary/extraordinariness of people's lives in relationship with God. I've also been doing some workshops on "applied spirituality." This evening's topic was discernment and decision making. While the dynamic of the workshop won't come across in the text, I thought I might post sections of it over the next couple of days. Feel free to cut and paste it into a document if you find any of it helpful.

INTRODUCTION: DISCERNMENT DEFINED

While many of us would love to wake up one day with a blueprint for our lives in an envelope under the door, complete with step by step instructions, I’ve never met anyone who has. There is a real dignity and adventure to discovering our true path for ourselves, step by step. We “build the bridge by walking on it.”

Discernment: the capacity to separate and distinguish elements that constitute the reality to be understood, and the decision to be made. From the perspective of our spirituality (define), it demands faith in God and in one’s own experience; a relationship with God based on love, not fear; courage; self-discipline; patience; self-knowledge; and maturity.

It is a disposition toward life that is at the same time, contemplative and deeply penetrating into the complexity and nuance of things. Discernment is an essential stage in a process of Spirit led decision-making. The better our discernment, the better our decision-making.

It is exercised for the purpose of cooperating with God’s intention to bring life to fullness and to increase our freedom from fear, that we might be more available for love, creativity, and service.

THE FOUNDATION AND GOAL OF LIFE

How do we begin? With end points… what do we believe the ultimate goal of our lives to be? When we have some clarity about our ultimate life goal, this gives us a sense of orientation, a compass for daily life. If I know where I want to end up, this helps me to understand how to relate to everything else, how to establish priorities and principles for decision making.

GROWING IN INTIMACY WITH GOD AND SELF-AWARENESS

Spiritual discernment requires that we are rooted and grounded in a lively personal relationship with God, as intimate as we are with a spouse or best friend.

We cultivate this relationship through the reading of Scripture, through conversational and imaginative prayer, and regular worship in a faith community. We also cultivate this relationship through our active service of others and the sharing of our faith.

While we learn so much about who we are in and through our relationships with God and with others, one relationship is often neglected: with ourselves. We can cultivate the relationship with ourselves and grow in self awareness by taking quiet time each day, journaling, making retreats, doing dream-work, etc.

In order to make good and Spirit led decisions, we need to know what makes us tick: we do we value and love? What do we fear? What do we resist? What are our habits and patterns? What hidden influences and blind-spots trip us up?

CONSOLATION OR DESOLATION? (more than a feeling, though feelings are involved)

Whenever we are trying to discern and decide, we have to be aware of whether we are in consolation or desolation (most dramatically, whether we are feeling blessed or cursed; less dramatically, am I feeling connected to God, self, and other, or alienated from God, self, and other.

HEAD, HEART, OR GUT?

It is helpful to know whether or not we tend to be people who make decisions based on our heads, our hearts, or our guts. Knowing our tendencies also can help us by directing attention to areas for growth.

Consider the advantages and disadvantages of each. Refer to handout.

Self-knowledge is the basis for growth and transformation, and key to inner freedom.
Read Romans 12:2

THE FREEDOM OF INDIFFERENCE

In order to discern effectively, we need to be rooted and grounded in a lively personal relationship with God. And in light of our love for God, we need to have freedom from excessive attachments (idols, egotism, personal agendas) and disordered affections (fears, compulsions, neuroses).

The value of the freedom of indifference… to do what is in accord with God’s will. This is not apathy, or lukewarm neutrality, but rather, deep inner freedom. This freedom of indifference must be rooted and grounded in our love for God and our desire the give God glory in all things. Indifference is rooted in deep awareness.


Stay tuned...

The True Vine

Jn 15:1-8

Jesus said to his disciples:
"I am the true vine, and my Father is the vine grower.
He takes away every branch in me that does not bear fruit,
and every one that does he prunes so that it bears more fruit.
You are already pruned because of the word that I spoke to you.
Remain in me, as I remain in you.
Just as a branch cannot bear fruit on its own
unless it remains on the vine,
so neither can you unless you remain in me.
I am the vine, you are the branches.
Whoever remains in me and I in him will bear much fruit,
because without me you can do nothing.
Anyone who does not remain in me
will be thrown out like a branch and wither;
people will gather them and throw them into a fire
and they will be burned.
If you remain in me and my words remain in you,
ask for whatever you want and it will be done for you.
By this is my Father glorified,
that you bear much fruit and become my disciples."

Reflecting on the Gospel reading for this Sunday, I cannot help but think back to my retreat last month, situated in the lovely harvest time vineyards of the Jesuit winery at Sevenhill. We just happened to be there in the weeks that the grapes were being harvested for processing... mostly by big and impressively effective machines. It isn't quite the image I had in mind of the Vinedresser depicted in the Gospel, who carefully prunes each vine of dead branches and picks the ripe grapes for the winepress.

For me, the most important grace of the retreat was very much about surrendering the illusion of self-sufficiency. This rich and multidimensional image that Jesus uses in the today's Gospel helps summarize that grace rather beautifully. He is the vine. I am a branch. And together, only together, can we bear fruit. No longer need I labor under the assumption that I am doing everything, let alone anything, under my own power. The Lord desires nothing more than to live in me and in you, and to love and labor through us in the world for the sake of the kingdom. The sap that flows from the vine out through the branches into the fruit is the life giving, love energy of the Spirit, and the way the Spirit is manifest in the world is in the fruit of our lives... the quality of presence we bring to our relationships, the gestures and expressions of affection, the tough and sometimes terrifying acts of love.

And then there is the pruning. A man I was spiritual director for was dealing with prostate cancer, and I was curious how he was able to keep such a positive outlook, let alone how he could devote so much time and energy to helping others who were in the same boat. He told me that he had led a very good life, and even though he was young-- in his early fifties, he trusted that through this cancer, that the Lord was pruning him for greater things. I will never forget the look of trust on his face as he told me this. "I am being pruned for greater things."

Just some more photos from Sevenhill

Thursday, May 7

A full day of one to one meetings with people making this retreat in daily life, and while this has been a real joy for me to be present to people in their growing and stretching in relationship with God, the day began with some very sad news. A young couple whose wedding I did a few years ago was expecting their second child. In fact, my friend was due to give birth next week. Sadly, in a check up, the doctors discovered that the baby's heart was not beating, and then found that the umbilical cord was in a knot.

It is hard to reconcile how it is that on one hand, some people are given a lifetime for learning, growing, and realizing their potential--with all the circumstances seemingly in favor of their thriving, and then others do not even get the chance to begin their journey, or face circumstances so challenging that it would seem nearly impossible that they could surmount these obstacles and flourish. I suppose this is one was of framing the age old question/mystery of the theodicy, the difficulty of reconciling a "good" and omnipotent God with the reality of suffering in the world.

Naturally, we try to understand our experiences by asking "why?" yet, no answer comes, or the responses we get from others fail to satisfy us if even we can tolerate the sometimes inane things people say in their desire to console us.

In the face of such experiences, I find that words generally fail, and that in some way, it may actually be better to imitate God's silence... a silence that is not of absence, but rather of full hearted and loving presence-- the kind of presence that reassures, consoles, and enfolds us like a firm embrace. Of course, there may be an act of faith involved here-- to hold steady in one's belief in God's goodness despite the painful reality that one is experiencing at the moment. Yes, this is faith indeed.

Wednesday, May 6th

Not much to tell... I saw one person for direction, though this is my day off this week. I took an hour's walk early this morning and another one later in the day, had a nap after lunch, and watched two dvd's (one was Flags of Our Fathers... heavy!). I cooked an omelet (that can't be how you spell it, is it? I want to add another t & an e) for the four of us for dinner tonight... nice to get back into the kitchen.

I think I must be getting older, but quiet days like today suit me just fine of late. I don't know about you, but for most of my life I've felt a certain amount of compulsion about staying busy, being productive, doing things that I judged "meaningful." Strangely enough, I feel a kind of liberation going on lately in just being able to relax, breathe, and be. Weird, huh?

While all that pressure to perform and produce was largely from within myself, it is "in the air" in our culture, and difficult to escape. I've begun asking myself, what is all this striving about? The push for "progress," the ambition to have more than we do, the orientation toward the future rather than the present moment... I'm becoming a little suspicious of it all, because when it comes right down to it, all of this seems like a distraction from paying attention to the abundance we have right here, right now. When we take a moment to breathe and become present to ourselves, we might discover this abundance in the Simplicity of Being... just being awake, aware, alive.

Again, of course I remember that I am in the tertianship bubble right now, enjoying Oz and this hiatus between assignments, and there is space for me to feel these things. But I honestly hope that it is possible to feel this simple, joyful abundance in the midst of the daily grind. Can anyone verify for me that it is?

Tuesday, May 5th

This was the second full day of meeting with retreatants... six in one day! It might not seem like much, but six hours of careful listening is actually pretty demanding. At the same time, it is just amazing to be present and witness to the unfolding of a human life as people tell their stories. It brings home to me that sense that every person's life is a mysterious unfolding, marked by losses and gains, joys and sorrows, mundane routines and profound longings and aspirations. It is also a lesson to me never to judge on first appearances, because the moment you think you've assessed who a person is, you've sold them short of all the ways they can surprise you, maybe even teach you something new.

Obviously I can't discuss things that people share with me in the context of spiritual direction, so I find that I carry people's stories with me as sort of a sacred trust, and I can't help but feel both humbled and enriched by the vulnerability that people manifest process. Sometimes, folks express a bit of discomfort when strong emotions come up, especially tears. But I cannot help thinking that if we were all a bit more free and vulnerable, the world would be a much more peaceful and compassionate place. Doesn't it seem a little crazy that most of us go through our day wearing our "game face," without giving our hearts the freedom to express feelings, regrets, gratitude, etc. For whatever reason, we allow the people and the environments around us to determine the way we show up instead of trusting the authenticity of being ourselves, (and of taking up the true authority that comes from being authentic). Again, what a revolution it is to live and work with people who have the freedom to be themselves.

Tomorrow is my day off, so after seeing just one person, I'm looking forward to "chillaxing" (a Brooklyn expression, if I'm not mistaken)-- walking , reading, seeing a movie. Cheers!

The Retreat In Daily Life

Greetings from lovely Mildura, voted the friendliest and most liveable city in Australia! If you recall, this is my second time here at Sacred Heart Parish in this city of 30,000 in the state of Victoria. The first time was on the way to our retreat at Sevenhill when five of us drove the two cars 1800 km from Sydney. Once I'm back on my own computer, I'll be able to load some pictures up.

I'm here for three weeks giving a retreat with a Loreto sister, Jennifer Connor, to 25 lay people in the parish. The beauty of this retreat is that people continue with the daily routines, relationships, and obligations of their lives, but they also make time for an extra 45 minutes to an hour of prayer each day, and for two weekly meetings with a spiritual director. This makes the retreat a bit more accessible for people who can't get away and take a break, and provides them an opportunity to explore the relationship between their experience of God and their day to day lives.

I'm staying in the rectory here at Sacred Heart, a vibrant and diverse parish, with two active diocesan priests, Fr.s Tom and Matthew, and a retired priest, Fr. Frank. Any parish would be so lucky to have guys like these... real lovers of people, generous, funny, and prayerful. And I feel blessed to be living and working with them.

Aside from celebrating masses, I am seeing between five and seven people each day for what we call spiritual direction, a conversation where people share about their experiences of prayer and of life. My role is simply to facilitate their experience of relationship with God by offering texts from Scripture for their prayer, being a listener and sounding board, and by offering encouragement and support for them as they engage the challenges of the retreat. It is probably my favorite form of ministry because it involves helping and witnessing to the spiritual growth and development of regular folks in their relationships with the Divine... this growth is often manifest in the way people experience healing from old hurts, reconcilation with old "enemies", a sense of renewed purpose and commitment, insight into and liberation from unhelpful attachments, etc. Please keep us in your prayers over these next three weeks... this kind of commitment of the retreatants calls for courage, patience, generosity, and self-discipline.