Katabasis "Going Down-Under"

A new blog site...

2009-09-02T00:03:00.002+10:00

Greetings!

I decided upon my return that I found the blogging too enjoyable to let go of, and a great opportunity/reminder to take some time each day for reflection, thankfulness, and appreciation. You are cordially invited to visit that new blog at:

http://admaioremdeigloriam20.blogspot.com/

Gratefully,
David

Last Blog for Now

2009-08-24T22:19:00.002+10:00

Well, the time has come to wrap up this show as the tertianship is officially over and I head home tomorrow to the States. It has been grand and full of grace, and I am so grateful for your coming along for the ride along the way. It seems anticlimactic to end without a picture, but in a sense, that also seems just right. There is no way to capture adequately the essence of all that I/We have experienced. In fact, this is one of the great lessons of this time here-- that there is a time for holding on and for letting go, for enjoying the sweetness and savor of the moment and the people and the place, and then to say thank you and goodbye. It is a story that we experience in so many different ways: loving and then losing one's love; starting a project and then bringing it to completion; teaching and letting oneself be taught... setting off from home and eventually making one's way back again.

Classically, as my former students will recall from our study of the Odyssey, this is the cycle of separation, initiation, and return. What do we have to show from our travels? Besides the scars, there are stories, glorious stories.

If you have enjoyed these posts or found any of them helpful, I am so pleased. There is a good chance that I will begin a new blog in the fall devoted exclusively to exploring the resources of Ignatian spirituality, so do stay in touch.

Cheers, and blessings be with you all!

Fr. David

Friday, August 21st

2009-08-21T17:47:00.002+10:00

I said goodbye to Simon, Johann, and Peter today. Both Simon and Peter return to the U.K. and Johann to Germany. But since Peter had some extra time, we drove down to Manly Beach for lunch, his last walk along the shore of the Pacific, and a rather extravagant dessert at Max Brenners, a chocolate bar. It was a Belgian waffle drizzled with dark chocolate, accompanied by sliced bananas, strawberries, and vanilla ice cream... wow! What a way to end tertianship! These are more photos from our walk down to Flint and Steel beach on West head.

Things are quiet around here as all the tertians have departed, except for Gilbert. His sister is visiting from California for a week, so I'm more or less on my own for the next three days before leaving on Tuesday. While I feel a bit restless to do some last touring, there is a part of me that needs a little space and quiet time. We'll see how these days unfold...

Just a few more days in Oz

2009-08-20T22:58:00.002+10:00

With my departure date looming, and the farewells to several of my Jesuit peers over the last few days, the end of this amazing seven months is weighing in an impactful way on my heart. Those of us left have been taking small day trips, enjoying last meals, and soaking up the last drops of one another's companionship. As the numbers of young-er Jesuits dwindles in many places globally, we feel especially grateful for the gift of these seven months with one another. So, naturally, goodbyes are hard. Yesterday, Johann, Peter and I went to West head again-- just a short drive, but it feels like a world away. Above is a picture of a sizeable lizard sunning itself in the late afternoon.

Enjoying the view...

Our farewell lunch with Arthur at the Circular Quay in Sydney Harbour-- a real treat!

One of the colorful lorikeets enjoying a sip of nectar in a flowering tree...

The Sydney Harbour bridge at night on the way home from the airport.

Two Days Reflecting on Collaboration

2009-08-18T16:51:00.003+10:00

As we're preparing for departure, we spent the past couple of days reflecting on a very key issue for many of us working in church related organizations and Jesuit ministries: the nature of collaboration between Jesuits and our various lay and religious partners. Collaboration and teamwork of any kind always has its challenges and rewards, and the same is true in this case. Our conversation was enriched by the participation of two laymen and one woman religious, all of them in roles of leadership within Jesuit organizations. Their stories and perspectives heightened awareness of a sense in which even long time partners in ministry still feel like guests and in-laws, and that Jesuits tend to take most of their privilege and social capital for granted. They also helped to raise our consciousness around the challenges of collaboration with people who pick up and move after a few years, who don't understand the challenges of making a living in today's economy and the costs that come with commitment to a vocation within Jesuit schools or ministries. While these issues weren't so new to most of us, the conversation was enriching and valuable for all of us. And there were plenty of stories and examples of the way in which collaboration and partnership in the service of our mission has created great opportunities for friendship and growth.

Just a week left for me here in Oz...

Expressing Gratitude and Appreciation

2009-08-15T21:58:00.002+10:00

These pictures were taken in Ku-rin-gai Chase National Park last Thursday... I don't know that I would ever tire of the natural beauty here, though I suppose it could be possible that I would take it for granted if I lived here. Perhaps that's one of the good things about being a tourist?

As our program draws to a close these days, we've been about the business of reflecting on the fruits of our experiences here in Australia, the graces we've received, the lessons we've learned, etc. As you know from your own experience, when we spent time counting up our blessings, we can experience a sense of well being and fullness that is quite deep and lasting. But even as good as it feels to us when we take stock personally in this way, there is something even better, even more marvelous, when we express this gratitude to others, and to God.

This morning we had a chance to give feedback to the leadership of the Australian province of the Jesuits, and in all that, there was this palpable sense of being privileged, that is, to be grateful for that which we could never earn or merit... this gift of seven months here in this beautiful country, the hospitality of the hundreds and hundred of people we met along the way, and maybe most of all to one another for friendship, which is a gift beyond measuring.

There have been times when I've heard people say to me or to others, "you're worth it," as if to suggest that somehow we're entitled to the good things that come into our lives. To be honest, I think that whether this is true or not, it misses the boat entirely. Somehow, feeling and expressing a sense of unmerited privilege and deep appreciation is so much more satisfying than thinking that I am entitled. Does this resonate with you?

Day Four of Retreat

2009-08-13T22:56:00.003+10:00

Spent the afternoon at Newport Beach, just a half hour from Pymble. Since we're in winter here, the water is still really cold, but it was still nice to sit on the beach in the sun reading and reflecting. One of the great gifts of these seven months has been to live in the moment for a change. While some people are more naturally oriented to reflect on the past and dwell on what has happened to them, or to regrets, I tend in the opposite direction. Usually, I lean my energy into the future with plans and projects, and while all that is fine and good, especially because I find my creativity engaged, it also leaves me with anxiety and a sense of deadlines. During these seven months, I have discovered the simple but nonetheless marvelous experience of doing nothing, of having no specific aim or purpose in mind, and of even playing. I know it's come up here in the blog before, but this is something I want to remind myself of for the future, when I'm back into fulltime work and tempted by my usual work addicted habits.

I need to pay attention to what God is calling me to in the moment-- it is often fairly simple and not mysterious. When eating a meal, what is called for is paying attention to the food and the company. When working with a person in crisis, it is usually about listening and being fully present. When it is about washing dishes, it is about washing the dishes... nothing to complicated. This means slowing the mind down a bit, and paying more attention to doing one thing well at a time (not text messaging while driving, for instance, or other forms of "multi-tasking.")

I am making a commitment to the Ignatian mindfulness prayer we call the Examen... something I have always done instinctively, but which is all the more important when we find ourselves busy.

And then there is the commitment to making time for friends... simple things, not rocket science. Living in the moment... finding sacramental presence in the now, feeling it in my body more than trying to know it with my mind. How does this all sound to you?

Day Three of Retreat

2009-08-12T22:48:00.002+10:00

Believe it or not, in the Southern hemisphere we're coming to the brink of Spring! I know that by now this should probably not make such an impression on me, but it does. And even though it doesn't begin officially until the start of September, the wildflowers are blossoming all over the place. I took these pictures while hiking today in Ku-ring-gai Chase National Park, a gorgeous area 20 minutes north of Pymble, our tertianship HQ. For me, this season reminder of new life evokes the transition I'm in these days, facing toward the future and a new job, but rooted in where I've been and who I've been with.

The Akuna Bay Marina, hidden away in the safety of the park... not a ripple of wind disturbing the mirrorlike surface of the water, reflecting everything above it. A perfect spot for a quiet afternoon cup of tea, or a "cuppa" as they say downunder.

The bare rock on the Waratah track... like a grey lizard skin, or the foundation stones of a building.

And wherever I go, my shadow comes along. Though there are days I need eyes on the back of my head so that I can see the way that the shadow is influencing my thoughts, feelings, and actions. Today, I was mindful of my shadow in the sense that as we are bringing this experience to a close, there are temptations to disengage and move my attention and energy into the future-- not to be fully present to the discomfort and sadness of goodbyes, or all that I will miss here in Australia.

And then the sunsets... each moment more colorful and lovely than the last. Beauty beyond my ability to capture... and maybe that's the point. We began saying farewell tonight with a candle light prayer service- tomorrow Dan will be the first to head back home and to new responsibilities.

Second Day of Retreat

2009-08-11T19:37:00.002+10:00

I will miss the sound of the laughing Kookaburras in my backyard here in Pymble, north of Sydney.

As the tertianship begins to draw to a finish, I am mindful of several fruits for which I am very grateful: friends, faith, freedom, and a deepened appreciation for St. Ignatius, spiritual father to many of us.

For starters, when you come to a new group, there is no telling how things are going to go, especially if the group is constituted by people of a great diversity of cultures and backgrounds. I am so grateful that the 12 of us got on so well and that we developed into a close knit and very functional community. Drawn from 7 different countries and of an age range spanning about 15 years, we managed to find more in common than not, and to truly enjoy one another's company. More than that, we became real 'friends in the Lord,' that is, people who not only enjoy close friendships, but who also are committed to a common purpose and mission. And in addition to my Jesuit brothers both here on tertianship and new Aussie Jesuit friends, Sarah, Michael & Emily, Nick & Min, Melina & Nick, Marty & Kerri, Tom, Matt, Anne Marie, Robina, and my diocesan priest friends from South Australia. What a gift international friendships are!

Then there is the grace of freedom from old illusions and fears, one of the real gifts of the long retreat. After really wrestling with God and my poor spiritual director, it became clear that I wasn't really trusting others, including God, to take care of me. I became aware that for whatever self-protective reason, I develope this notion that no one could take better care of me than myself... a sort of defensive self-sufficiency. While this might have been necessary at some point early in my life, to continue to live that way is actually a kind of death. As human beings, we are made to be in relationship, to love and be loved. It's only taken me 40 years to discover how I was blocking others, including God, by saying implicitly- "no thanks, I've got myself all taken care of." What a relief to be relieved of this burden!

And faith... my faith, a Catholic faith. In all honesty, I have been a bit hard on my own institutional religion over the years, seeing more of the Church's faults than appreciating its blessings. But meeting lots of regular folks who have lived for 70 and 80 years as faithful Catholics, seeing the beautiful ways that their faith has enriched and sustained their lives and how it has been far more of a blessing than a burden-- this has been a real gift for me. It may sound odd, but it is true.

And finally St. Ignatius of Loyola: a major part of our study in the tertianship involves a return to the basics of our Jesuit life, to exploration of Ignatius' autobiography and spiritual legacy, study of the Constitutions of the Society of Jesus, and of Jesuit history. I know that other religions orders have rich traditions and deep spiritualities as well (currently, I am reading a very good book by an Aussie Cistercian monk, Michael Casey), but I am so grateful that providence called me to this particular religious order at this very interesting crossroads in history.

First Day of Retreat

2009-08-10T20:24:00.002+10:00

An underwater photograph from my snorkeling adventure off the coast of Whyalla in the Spencer Gulf... certainly one of the highlights of my travels here in Australia.

We began retreat last night to begin bringing our tertianship experience to a close after seven months. First of all, I realize what a privilege it is to have five days set aside for quiet reflection, especially given how many contemporary people find it challenging to set aside even fifteen minutes for recollection each day.

If I have taken any lesson from these seven months, it is the recognition that that way the world generally works is mad, and that true sanity requires bucking many of the world's values (thinking that more is always better; valuing doing over being; the way we have commodified values and lost the intrinsic worth of people, time, simple things, etc.). St. Ignatius painted the contrast between the way of the world and the Way of Christ by sifting through two sets of motivations. The way of the world is generally motivated by a desire for riches, honors, and pride... all based on a distorted illusion of our true nature. The root of that delusion is that we are not loved or lovable, and so we cling to riches, honors, and pride, wrapping our frail egos up in window dressing.

By contrast, the Way of Christ is the way of the Beatitudes, motivated not by fear of emptiness but by a desire to respond to the love of God, a love that brought about our creation, that maintains our existence from moment to moment, that is expressed through the self gift of God's presence which we call grace and by the love we receive from family and friends.

The way of the world is based on an illusion of scarcity-- that what I am is not enough, and that what little I have is always in danger of slipping away, so I cling to it and grasp for more. In this sense, I spend more energy at getting than giving, and what I do get, I feel entitled to, instead of grateful for.

The Way of Christ is based on an experience of abundance... that what I am and all that my life consists of is a gift. Even if what I have is small, it is more than enough. Out of gratitude I am generous... and strangely, Life responds to my generosity by filling my heart with satisfaction and contentment.

In Paul's second letter to the Corinthians, he writes:

2 Cor 9:6-10

"Brothers and sisters:
Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly,
and whoever sows bountifully will also reap bountifully.
Each must do as already determined, without sadness or compulsion,
for God loves a cheerful giver.
Moreover, God is able to make every grace abundant for you,
so that in all things, always having all you need,
you may have an abundance for every good work.
As it is written:

He scatters abroad, he gives to the poor;
his righteousness endures forever.

The one who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food
will supply and multiply your seed
and increase the harvest of your righteousness."

And so, most of all this day as I reflect on my experience of these seven months, I feel gratitude welling up inside me, and a cheerful desire to make a return on all that I have been given. I know that the way of the world is with me too, and need to be vigilant about falling into old patterns when tertianships ends. The temptation is particularly great to try and merit my existence by working too much, somehow thinking I can earn what I have received, or prove my worth by what I do. I have struggled with over extension, burn-out, and a bit of resentment at times. Do you know what I am talking about? More challenging is for me to live with the humility of appreciation-- that God has given more to me than I could ever earn or even be worthy of (For some reason, I find myself ending sentences with prepositions...).

A Perfect Day in Sydney

2009-08-09T12:00:00.002+10:00

Yesterday was our first day off from a week of intense reflection on issues surrounding Christian/Muslim dialogue. Our conversations helped us sift through so many considerations, but in a study of the Qur'an and the Bible, there are far more similarities than differences. Even so, so much depends on the mindset and willingness of the people involved in the conversation to respect and learn from one another.

After such a demanding week, it was so pleasant to take the day off in Sydney yesterday... it was cool and sunny, a gorgeous day to spend at the harbor. Gilbert, Johann and I went to Darling harbor to do a little shopping for family and friends, then to the Fish Market for lunch, and then back in toward the City and the Rocks for drinks and dinner with the several of the other guys. Above is a pelican near the fishermans' wharf.

The Marina... it is so good to live close to water! I grew up on Lake Ontario, one of the Great Lakes, but it wasn't quite like being close to the ocean.

Johann and I are on the Rocks with the Harbour Bridge behind us.

The Opera House with the moon rising to the right.

Catholic and Muslim Dialogue

2009-08-06T15:12:00.002+10:00

Photo: Pope Benedict and Dr. Mustafa Ceric, the Grand Mufti of Bosnia
(I met Dr. Ceric in NYC four years ago)

It's been an exciting few days of conversation here at Canisius College as the tertians meet with Herman Roborgh, S.J. a New Zealander who has studied Islam and lived for many years in Indonesia, Pakistan, and India, and who works for the promotion of constructive Christian and Muslim dialogue. We've been hashing around significant issues of theology, exploring our own experiences of encounter and relationship with Muslim people, and asking hard questions about the tensions between politics and religion.

I've been recovering from a bout of food poisoning and haven't had a whole lot of energy for the blogging business, though I do hope to share a bunch of my photos and stories before winding up and heading back to the US in three weeks.

Back from our Five Week Jesuit Roadshow in the Country

2009-08-02T23:09:00.002+10:00

Bishop Greg O'Kelly, S.J. and I at the underground Catholic Church in Coober Pedy, the opal mining capital of the world.

The last day of our trip to visit the northern reaches of the Port Pirie Diocese with Bishop Greg. I'm not sure that Dan has woken up entirely...

A scene from our last night in Sevenhill before returning East to Sydney.

Stopping in Mildura for lunch with AnneMarie Dimasi and Melina Conte, who made the retreat in daily life a few months back. Peter is looking dapper in his geniune Akubra hat, no?

So, it's been a good long while since the last posts, and there have been many adventures between then and now. Over the next few days, I will do a little review and catch you up on where we've been and what we've been up to!

And He Could Do No Miracles for their Lack of Faith

2009-07-05T16:20:00.002+10:00

Yesterday we arrived in Port Pirie, our third rural city on this five city roadshow doing parish missions on Ignatian Spirituality. Hopefully, I will have wireless access by the end of the week, and will be able to post some of the digital photos from our experience diving with dolphins and giant cuttlefish. For now, the homily from this Sunday.

Mark 6:1-6

He left that place and came to his hometown, and his disciples followed him. ²On the sabbath he began to teach in the synagogue, and many who heard him were astounded. They said, “Where did this man get all this? What is this wisdom that has been given to him? What deeds of power are being done by his hands! ³Is not this the carpenter, the son of Mary and brother of James and Joses and Judas and Simon, and are not his sisters here with us?” And they took offense at him. ⁴Then Jesus said to them, “Prophets are not without honor, except in their hometown, and among their own kin, and in their own house.” ⁵And he could do no deed of power there, except that he laid his hands on a few sick people and cured them. ⁶And he was amazed at their unbelief.

Then he went about among the villages teaching.

There was a Thomas Wolfe novel by the name of "You Can't Go Home Again" about an author who writes a book that reveals a few too many truths about his hometown. While the book is very popular and highly acclaimed elsewhere in the country, people from his past make it very clear he is not welcome to return home again. Today in our Gospel, Jesus gets a taste of this inhospitality himself.

While he has already begun his ministry and developed a reputation abroad for the wisdom and authority of his teaching, and for the power he demonstrates in and through miracles of healing, he has a very different reception on his return to Nazareth. Nazareth was probably a very small town, no more than a 1000 people, and very likely most of them were inter-related. It was a very tight knit community, and its population had a reputation in the region for being a bit backward in its thinking.

You probably know that one of the beautiful things about being from a small town is that everybody knows you. They know your family, they know your business, and people look out for each other. You can walk down the street and say hello to people by name. There is a sense of being part of a community, and as you know here in Port Pirie, that is a very fine thing.

But every light casts a shadow, doesn't it?

You probably also know that the downside of living in a small town is that everybody knows you... or at least they presume to. People presume that in knowing who you are, what kind of family you come from, and what you do, they have sized you up-- measured your character and your quality. This kind of knowledge can be a sort of power. Do you know what I am talking about when I say that knowledge can be power?

We can use our presumed knowledge for two purposes in particular. We use it to define and label people, assessing who's in and who's out, or who is considered a good bloke and who is a black sheep. We can cage people with our expectations of them and keep them in that box their whole lives.

We can use our presumed knowledge to keep people in their place, keep them from becoming too big for their britches. Here in Australia, you call this the peril of the "tall poppy," so that if a person really is talented or excells, they better not shine too bright otherwise they will get cut down to size. We can also control people's reputation through our gossip, sinking people with a single rumor.

Do you know what I am talking about? Why do you think we do this?

If I am not mistaken, the reason we do this is that we are a bit ambivalent about being known. On one hand, it is nice to be really familiar with people, part of a big family that looks out for its own. On the other, there is a kind of vulnerability it being known that is hard because we can feel more vulnerable to judgments and attacks. So, we can at times use our presumed knowledge of others as a defense. Does this make sense?

This can make it very hard for gifted people to remain, or for young people to develop their skills and abilities in such a way that they can find appreciation and appropriate acclaim. In this way, tightly knit communities can enforce a kind of safe mediocrity on themselves, protecting themselves from threats or surprises.

Jesus himself is not immune to this experience. How it must have pained him to return to this hostile reception. It isn't so much that his own townspeople don't welcome him. They will welcome him so long as he is willing to play the role assigned to him-- the carpenter, the one people still gossip about because he was born nearly out of wedlock under mysterious circumstances. There is no way this one could be as special as his reputation says he is. Where could he have learned all that he is saying?

What lesson can we draw from this? It seems that we are being invited to refrain from presuming that we know others so well that they cannot grow, change, and perhaps surprise us. And most of all, perhaps we have to avoid presuming to know how God works in our lives. Maybe it is most important that we avoid putting God in a box and instead allowing God the room to surprise us, perhaps even work a miracle.

Self-Care for Caregivers

2009-06-25T18:46:00.001+10:00

Self-Care for Caregivers… What? Why? How?

By Rev. David C. McCallum, S.J.

Based on the work of Grissel Hernandez, MPH, BSN, RN, HN-BC, CCE (2009) The Art of self-C.A.R.I.N.G. on ADVANCE for Nurses and the spirituality of St. Ignatius of Loyola.

We begin with what it is we desire to become…

Example:

“How do I become a more mindful, compassionate presence in the world?”

Remember:
· I cannot give what I do not have
· Love is a renewable resource
· God is the source of Love and our lives are a response to Love

So, we develop practices to help us connect more consciously to God, the Source of caring and compassion.

C.A.R.I.N.G.—5 Interconnected Practices

C-ompassion
A-wareness
R-eflection
I-intention
G-ratitude

Compassion

What is it? Compassion is the willingness to feel with and for another, even to the point of suffering. It is a form of love that is based on a relational sense of being interconnected, and it can be a powerful motive for action on behalf of others.

Why is it important for us? Compassion helps us to be kind, tender, and forgiving toward ourselves, which in turn helps us be kind, tender, and forgiving toward others. It helps us be patient with our own weaknesses and shortcomings, tolerant of imperfections, and willing to accept ourselves as we are.

How do we practice it? Once a day, we might simply take some time to pay attention to ourselves in Three Dimensions (3D) of our experience: body (How are we feeling physically?); mind (What thoughts are occupying our attention?); spirit (How are we feeling emotionally?). In paying attention to ourselves in this way, we want to maintain an attitude of compassionate self-regard. Another way is to do a visualization exercise, seeing ourselves the way that God sees us, allowing God’s love to flow into and through us toward others.

Awareness

What is it? Awareness is a state of being conscious of both our internal state of mind and heart as well as of what is going on around us.

Why is it important? It allows us to be fully present to our moment to moment experience, as well as to give others our full attention. Awareness is the means through which we center ourselves emotionally, and through which we ground ourselves in our sense of purpose and value.

How do we practice it? Conscious attention to our breath is a helpful anchor for our mindful awareness in the present moment. We can cultivate this attention to our breath by spending 15 – 20 minutes each day doing Mindfulness Meditation, and by bringing our attention back to our breath whenever we feel our attention fragmented by anxiety or distraction. This breathing awareness brings balance and groundedness to our thinking, feeling, and doing.

Reflection

What is it? Reflection is simply thinking about our experience with a spirit of inquiry and openness to insights and learning from that experience.

Why is it important? Through reflection on our daily experience, we develop a sense of what is important to us, and an “inner compass” that helps us make decisions in our life. Furthermore, with reflection, we learn from our mistakes and develop our intuition, and practical wisdom.

How do we practice it? Through our use of mindfulness meditation, and a daily exercise like the Ignatian Examen of Consciousness, we nurture this capacity to pay attention to our experience. In the Examen, inquire into what we are thinking, feeling, and doing. We explore our motivations, our patterns of behaviour, our attachments and addictions.

Intentionality

What is it? Intentionality is the mindful focus of our energy on the achievement of a goal or the pursuit of a purpose.

Why is it important? By consciously setting an intention, we put forth a purpose or end toward which we strive, and by which we align our energy (thoughts/attitudes, behaviours, evaluation of the outcomes). The higher our intention, the more likely we are to discover meaning and value in life, including the challenges and set-backs. When we pursue a sacred intention, as Jesus did, we are better prepared for the inevitable sacrifices that we must make along the way.

How do we practice it? Every day, upon waking, we might begin the day by setting our intention and asking God to help us to fulfill our purpose. Examples include St. Francis of Assisi’s prayer, “Lord, make me a channel of your peace,” or St. Ignatius of Loyola’s prayer, “Lord, I pray that all my thoughts, feelings, and actions are in harmony with your most holy will.”

Nonjudgmental

What is it? Nonjudgmental attachment is a form of loving acceptance of reality as it is. Acceptance means being aware of your experience without either clinging to it or resisting it. Instead, it is to accept your reality in the moment with a peaceful composure.

Why is it important? Despite the way we might want to attach ourselves to things and people we are attracted to, or resist and push away things that repulse us, or change things that do not conform to our desires, reality will often resist us unless we come from a peaceful, detached place in ourselves. Reality is a powerful teacher in that it seldom conforms to our ego’s preferences. So, developing a grounded and emotionally centered detachment helps us better assess situations before we act.

How do we practice it? Rather than reacting to circumstances and being compelled by the emotions stirred up, I become a detached observer of my experience. This practice of observing myself can help me develop a sense of patient calmness and help me to make decisions with greater clarity. It is also helpful to return to the present moment when our attention drifts to what has just happened, or to what may happen.

Gratitude

What is it? It is both a feeling of appreciation and an attitude of thankfulness.

Why is it important? Our attention is naturally attracted to the negative experiences in our lives, but we have to practice paying attention to the positive. Gratitude fosters a sense of joy, security, and abundance. It connects us to God, the giver of all gifts, and inspires our generosity. It also helps us keep perspective when we tend to be “givers,” reminding us of the importance of receiving graciously from others.

How do we practice it? One of the easiest ways of cultivating gratitude is to use the Ignatian Examen of Consciousness on a daily basis, rummaging and combing through our day for all the events, relationships, and feelings that we have been privileged to experience. Teilhard de Chardin once suggested that we are not human beings who have spiritual experiences, but spiritual beings having human experiences.

And another thing…

While each of these five practices is an asset for becoming a more self-caring care-giver, one more is indispensible for keeping our perspective, being grounded, and most importantly, for remembering that we are human beings, not God. When we are able to laugh at ourselves and see the humor, irony, and at times even the absurdity of life, we can avoid becoming cynical or giving up. So for all the seriousness of these ideas and the importance of these practices of self-care, perhaps most importantly—laugh often!

One last word: “No”

The intention behind all of these practices is not to turn us into superwomen and men, but rather, to be more fully human in our way of living and loving. We may occasionally fall into the temptation to try to do more Jesus himself did in the service of others, but part of being human is knowing and respecting our limits. This means that we must be kind enough to ourselves to discern where, when, and how to use the “n” word… “no.” Sometimes we must grow into the freedom to say “no” appropriately. This requires the self-knowledge and freedom from fear… freedom from the need to please; freedom from the need to be perfect; freedom from the need to help everyone; freedom for the need to always have our acts together. It is a kind of spiritual hubris to think that we can do otherwise.

Road Trip!

2009-06-17T21:45:00.002+10:00

So, it looks like you'll get a rest from this particular blogger for the next five weeks or so, until the end of July. I'll be taking to the road giving parish missions/retreats in South Australia, and I'm more than a little doubtful that I'll have wireless in the "bush" as they say here in Oz. So, peace and all good things! See you at the end of July.

Some Thoughts about the Spirit With Which We Serve Others

2009-06-17T12:13:00.002+10:00

JESUS: EXEMPLAR OF LOVING SERVICE

By Rev. David C. McCallum, S.J.

How can we stay “out of the way” and allow God to be the agent of grace and healing through us? Jesus provides the example.

➢ Ego driven service relies exclusively on my human effort, whereas Jesus’ service flows out of a relationship with God. I need to listen to the promptings of God and lean on God’s strength to accomplish the task. Can I appreciate the difference? What happens when I try to do everything myself? Or, on the other hand, when I have no confidence in my abilities? What is different about my experience of service when I am depending on God, when I act as a channel, allowing God to be the source of my love, my patience?

➢ Ego driven service is impressed with the “show” whereas Jesus’ service is contented in hiddenness, in the intrinsic worth of what he does for others. Here I might recall all the times when Jesus tells people to keep quiet about what he has done for them. I might try to avoid doing things for others as a means of getting applause or reward, relying instead on God’s affirmation. Am I free enough from my own interior needs that I can serve others without expectations of reward, or even gratitude? What sorts of feelings and thoughts come up for me as I ponder this? At the same time, if I am afraid of being in the spotlight at all, how might I learn to be gracious in receiving recognition, or expressions of gratitude?

➢ Ego driven service is calculated, and concerned with results, whereas Jesus’ service surrenders the outcomes in a disposition of faith. I need to let go of my expectations and not be disappointed when my service seems ineffective. In every so-called failure there is instruction and even grace. Am I overly goal oriented, so much so that I am frustrated when I do not achieve what I set out to do and unable to appreciate what actually happens? What might I need to let go of here? I might consider the events of the passion, and how this seemed to be a total defeat for Jesus. What advantage is there in working hard and at the same time, surrendering the outcomes? At the same time, if I find it hard to believe in myself and my own plans or designs, how can I grow in a realistic belief in my ability to follow through with my goals?

➢ Ego driven service picks and chooses whom to serve, whereas Jesus modeled a radical availability to any persons who present their needs. It is so easy to favor those who are rich and powerful, those who can repay me with advantages and benefits. It is so hard to make a preferential option for those who are poor and weak. How do I feel about giving of myself to people who might not be able to benefit me in a way that the world would judge valuable? On the other hand, what blessings have I received from my interactions with those who are weak, poor, and seemingly unable to help themselves? Sometimes our solidarity with the poor comes with the price of feeling animosity toward those of means. Is it possible to pray for a compassionate heart for both the weak and the wealthy?

➢ Ego driven service is subject to the vicissitudes of my feelings and moods. Jesus seems to be profoundly sensitive to others and aware of his own feelings, manifesting every emotion we might expect. At the same time, his loving service does not seem to depend on his like or dislike for people, nor on his own mood. In fact, he is able to keep his focus on others even when he is suffering himself. What would allow me to find joy even when there is no cause for happiness? Can I be in touch with my feelings without my attitude, choices, and actions being entirely dictated by them? What resources or practices provide me objectivity about my own experience? Or perhaps I have never been able to trust in my own instincts and feelings, and it is time to believe in the authority of my own experience?

➢ Ego driven service is inconstant and a matter of our convenience. Service inspired by Jesus’ example is an ongoing commitment, a way of life. What is my attitude toward time, and my willingness to put others before my schedule, my plans, my timeline? Are there ways that I need to become more flexible and generous? At the same time, If I am always over extended, are there ways I need to be more careful about respecting my limits? Personal balance is very important to my capacity to serve others over the long-term, as much as I want to be generous on any given day. Do I struggle with a compulsive need to be needed? Where does this stem from?

➢ Ego driven service is driven by what I think is best for others. True service involves such sensitivity that I allow others to tell me what they need. Can I allow others to take the lead without sacrificing important boundaries? To what extent do I need to trust God and others? Do I have a strong need for control? Where does this come from? At the same time, there are times when I must trust my instincts, and intervene on behalf of those who cannot help themselves. Do I trust too much or too little in my own inner voice?

➢ Ego driven service enforces a separation between me and the people I serve. Jesus’ example of service builds community and helps us discover that in relation to others, there are more similarities between us than differences. Am I open to being in relationship with the people I serve, or do I use my role as a means of maintaining “safe distance” from others? Is there a way of being with people that also allows me to do my job? Is there a way of maintaining my integrity while at the same time being appropriately vulnerable with others? Or perhaps I find that I do not have very good boundaries, and am easily exploited by other people’s needs, or that I get overly caught up in other people’s problems in ways that are not healthy. How might I work on drawing more healthy boundaries and set appropriate limits in other people’s expectations of me?

Making a Difference in the World

2009-06-16T20:04:00.002+10:00

Over the past few days, I've had the privilege of being a sounding board for two friends, each of them considering ways that they'd like to make a real qualitative difference in the world. One of them is hoping to develop and test a model for societal level change in a small, war-ravaged developing country. The other is developing a model for a training program that aims at helping leaders lead from a much more spiritual, purpose-led place, with the hope that this program might eventually spread internationally. I am grateful to be able to listen to them as they explore the intersections between their passions, priorities, and the needs of the world as they see them.

Listening to the two of them prompts me to think of many things... the matter of how people discover their vocations; the ways in which we are prompted to make a difference in the world; the motives which drive us; and the challenge of finding a sustainable if simple livelihood in meaningful and service oriented work.

For my own part, I have seen how challenging it is to untangle my ego from my desires to influence the world in a positive manner, though each day I do try to keep an eye on my shadow, and stay out of God's way to the best of my abilities. I feel committed to this practice because I see how we tend to work, unwittingly, at cross purposes with our intentions. Consider, for example, how the intention of so many modern conveniences is to save us time so that we can spend more time at leisure activities. Does anyone see any evidence that the use of technology has brought us more time, or leisure, let alone happiness? Most people would say that we're working harder and longer hours than ever. Or the defense industry... some people rationalize that the purpose of the arms industry is to make us safer (whoever "us" is!); but the reality is that we've rarely been more insecure, despite the trillions we spend on "defense." Do you get my drift? Who profits from these myths?

So often, in an effort to solve problems we use the very same kind of logic/thinking that created them in the first place... leading to even more complex issues. And for the most part, this logic/way of thinking is largely ego driven, even very subtly. By this I mean that we are constantly using our individual and collective resources to compete with others, to establish and maintain our reputations, to defend ourselves against attacks, to accrue more material security, to pursue status and celebrity... or am I deluded? As a result, we continue to reproduce a sort of insanity... in our consumerism, in our obsession with national security, in keeping outsiders at a distance.

I must say, as I reflect on these matters, I cannot help but think we are desperate for a widespread spiritual awakening... not in the sense that we need to all suddenly "get religion," but rather, we need to wake up from the insanity that is currently driving the way the world works (and some of that insanity is religious in nature, is it not?).

Sunday Adventure: Watson's Bay to Bondi Beach

2009-06-15T19:55:00.002+10:00

Despite the rain yesterday, Bruno (a Jesuit from the Swiss Province) and I walked six miles from Watson's Bay to Bondi Beach. As the Irish say, "it was a soft day." Above is one the many lighthouses along the way, much needed because of the number of storms that have wrecked ships off the coast over the years.

Bruno and me at the beach. Isn't it strange how small the sailboat looks out there? The perspective doesn't seem quite right.

This is a close up of one of the beautiful larikeets enjoying the nectar of the local flora.

In between the raindrops, a scene of the coastline.

This is Sydney Harbour, the city, and the harbor bridge in the distance from a park near Bondi. Tomorrow, some reflections on a meeting I had with a friend who does organizational development work here and internationally.

The Body and Blood of Christ

2009-06-14T20:51:00.002+10:00

Today is the Feast of the Body and Blood of Christ, formerly known as Corpus Christi Sunday. Below is more or less the homily I preach for the community here at Canisius College.

To begin with, I invite you to have in mind the string of a musical instrument, especially the way that it requires being held in tension in order to produce a rich, resonant, and beautiful sound. Without this tension, the tune is lost and the string produces no music. This past week in our tertian studies, we reflected on how the life of a Christian is to live in creative tensions, for instance:

between contemplation & action

between being People of the world/citizens of nations & People of the Gospel

between Body & Spirit

between being simultaneously Sinners & Beloved by God

Why do I mention this? Because our Celebration of the Body and Blood of Christ calls for us to hold such tensions if we are to deepen our appreciation for the gift God gives to us in the Eucharist, in which God communicates his very self to us.

One side of the tension is that which is described in the reading from Exodus, where God establishes a covenant with Moses, the covenant of the law. The law is a gift to the Israelites intended to save them from the chaos of sin, and to establish them as a special people. The law was intended, not as a burden, but as a blessing.

The Eucharist does not negate this first covenant… it includes it. In the Eucharistic prayer, wherever we hear the mention of sacrifice, and the offering of Jesus’ life as a means of saving us from sin, this first covenant is referenced… the covenant that Moses celebrated by showering the people with the blood of the sacrificial offerings… the blood a symbol of life.

But there is also a second covenant that includes and transcends the first… because even though the law was a blessing and marked the Israelites as a people special to God, God was not content living at a distance from people’s hearts, from the human experience. In this second covenany we discover that God desires not sacrifice, but justice and right relationship with our brothers and sisters; God does not desire us to live in fear of him so much as God desires us to live with a passionate and felt sense of God’s affection for us.

The second covenant, the one that Jesus establishes as the new Moses, is intended to liberate us from the fear of God, and to draw us into an intimate and loving relationship… God is Abba, Father… or even better, Dad… and we are the beloved children who share the inheritance that Jesus promises, the Kingdom.

So, the Eucharist includes within it two covenants… one about the law, and the other, a relationship of love.

That’s one of the creative tensions.

Can you handle another?

The second tension involves a little imagination on our part… I want to invite you to remember for a few moments a memorable meal… and as Ignatius recommends in his instructions on prayer… to use our interior senses to really savor the whole experience… Recall a memorable meal.

Was any body alone, raise your hand? I didn't think so. (Believe it or not, but evolutionary biologists have discovered that we're predisposed to enjoy a meal more in the company of others.)

The reason we recall these memorable meals was about more than the most sumptuous feast. While we might have paid plenty of attention to the delectable food, we probably spent our time in conversation… For my part, I remembered a meal when I was in Mildura on my last assignment giving the Retreat in Daily Life. It will undoubtedly be one of the most memorable experiences I have here in Australia. I was visiting with the families of two Italian women, sisters who made the retreat. We spent hours cooking together… an amazing meal! And then as you might imagine, there was laughter, and there were tears, and the sense of fullness was not only that of our bellies, but also out hearts…

In such a meal, there is an amazing chemistry that happens where nothing is missing, and the least thing taken away makes a difference… a single person missing would change everything. It is a chemistry that makes the ordinary into the extraordinary, that makes the mundane into the memorable.

So the other tension is this… Like the memorable meal, the Eucharist is not just the food that only God can provide, the Living Bread and the Saving Cup… is also an action and a matter of relationships.

The Real Presence, the Sacrament of our Incarnate God calls our attention likewise to the sacredness of the person sitting beside us, or the person huddled under a bridge for shelter, or the person sitting alone with no one to visit them, or to the Aboriginal child sitting in despair in a rural camp.

It is a mysterious and transforming chemistry of relationships… the Holy Trinity and each of us, the world of spirit and the world of matter, all made holy.

This bread that only God can give… Jesus Christ, who is taken, blessed, broken, and given for us and the life of the world—transforms us when we receive it and live in relationship with him and the world made new.

St. Augustine once wrote:

"I thought I heard your voice from on high: 'I am the food of grown men and women; grow then, and you will feed on me. Nor will you, as with bodily food, change me into yourself, but you will be changed into me.'"

Our Saturday Adventures

2009-06-13T22:27:00.002+10:00

This has been a long week, with conferences on our most recent General Congregation 35, and then several sessions on Jesuit history. It has all been interesting enough, but generally has felt a bit like being back in school. So today, after three and a half hours of review and evaluation, five of us took off for a picnic and hike in the gorgeous Ku-Ring-Gai Chase National Park, a treasure just 20 minutes from our house in Pymble. For most of the day I was asking myself, why am I only discovering this place now?!

We drove to West Head Lookout, one of the most scenic spots in the north of Sydney. Above, Gilbert (California Province), Peter, and Simon (British Province).

This is the view from the West Head Lookout toward the west, with Lion Island in the bay.

Bill (New England Province) and Simon standing under a rock overhang that has provided shelter to Aboriginal peoples for somewhere around 30,000 years... amazing.

Above are handprints in ochre, done in the style common to the Aborigines.

The Lighthouse on Barrenjoey Headland, just as the sun is setting. It was a great day for a hike-- cool, no flies, just the right amount of sun. And then we finished the evening off at a local Tuscan Trattoria... a great Saturday!

The Velveteen Rabbit

2009-06-12T19:41:00.002+10:00

Illustration by William Nicholson for Margery William's Velveteen Rabbit.

I must say that I haven't thought of the Velveteen Rabbit for years, not since I tried to read it in Spanish while in Ecuador teaching grade school kids. Obviously, it's a classic, and like many classics, has a message that transcends age or generation. Simon, one of the two British tertians, used it in our morning prayer today and I thought it was worth reprinting here. Make of it what you will...

The skin horse had lived longer in the nursery than any other toy. He was so old that his brown coat was bare in places showing the seams underneath and most of his hair in his tail had been pulled out.

He was wise for he had seen a long succession of mechanical toys arrive to boast and swagger but, in time, their main springs broke and they passed away. He knew that they were only toys and would never turn into anything else.

Nursery magic is a very strange and wonderful thing and only those playthings that become old and experienced, and therefore wise, understood all about it.
“What is real?” asked the Rabbit one day when they were lying side by side, before the Nanny come to tidy the room. “Does it mean having things buzz inside you or a stick-out-handle?”

“Real isn’t how you are made or what you like,” said the Skin Horse. “It is a thing that happens to you when a child loves you, not just to play with, but really loves you. Then you become REAL.”

“Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit. “Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, “but when you are REAL, you don’t mind being hurt.”

“Does it happen all at once, like being wound up, or bit by bit?” asked the Rabbit.

“It doesn’t happen all at once. It takes a long time, that’s why it doesn’t happen often to toys who break easily or have sharp edges or must be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are REAL, you can look very shabby: most of your hair has been loved off; your eyes drop out or your joints become loose. But these things don’t matter at all because once you are REAL you can’t be ugly, except to those who don’t understand.”

Ignatian Prayer Practices Part II

2009-06-11T17:15:00.002+10:00

A picture of a roo in mid-hop taken at the Mungo World Heritage Sight (Wilandra Lakes).

This blog picks up where we left off yesterday-- introducing this powerful method of Ignatian Contemplation using Imagination and Scripture. Below is a passage from the gospel of Luke and step by step instruction in how to use your imagination in prayer.

Passage for Contemplation --Luke 5:17-26

One day, while he was teaching, Pharisees and teachers of the law were sitting nearby (they had come from every village of Galilee and Judea and from Jerusalem); and the power of the Lord was with him to heal.

Just then people came, carrying a paralyzed man on a bed. They were trying to bring him in and lay him before Jesus; but finding no way to bring him in because of the crowd, they went up to the roof and let him down with his bed through the tiles into the middle of the crowd in front of Jesus.

When he saw their faith, he said, “Friend, your sins are forgiven you.”

Then the scribed and Pharisees began to question, “Who is this who is speaking blasphemies? Who can forgive sins but God alone?”

When Jesus perceived their questionings, he answered them, “Why do you raise such questions in your hearts? Which is easier, to say, ‘your sins are forgiven you,’ or to say, ‘stand up and walk’? But so that you know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins”—he said to the one who was paralyzed—“I say to you, stand up and take your bed and go to your home.”

Immediately he stood up before them, took what he had been lying on, and went to his home, glorifying God.

Amazement seized all of them, and they glorified God and were filled with awe, saying “we have seen strange things today!”

The Contemplation Step by Step

Step 1.

Pay attention to choosing a prayerful posture, relaxing, closing your eyes, entering into the presence of God which is always around us… like the air we breath. Be attentive to feelings as you begin this encounter with God.

Step 2.

Conscious that you are in God’s presence, and the Spirit of God within us expresses even without words what we need and desire from God, spend some time identifying the particular grace you want from God right now. It may be a sense of peace, or a healing of an inner wound, or a deeper sense of gratitude, or a sense of direction and purpose. Or perhaps you might pray simple to know, love, and follow Christ.

Step 3.

Read the passage again, so that you have a feel for the situation, the setting, the characters.

Step 4.

Use your imagination to compose the scene before entering into it. What does the village look like? How big is this house? Imagine the crowds of people there… who are they? What have they come seeking? How are the scribes and Pharisees different from everyone else? Picture Jesus there inside the house, teaching the people, and reaching out to heal the people placed before him. Notice outside the group of people carrying their beloved friend on the mat, and the expression on their face as they try to get through the crowds and into the house. What are they feeling? What is the person on the mat feeling?

Step 5.

Enter into the scene, allowing the Holy Spirit to choose a character involved in the scene for you to become. Who is it? One of the bystanders? One of the disciples? One of the friends or perhaps the person on the mat? Or perhaps one of the religious authorities?
Allow the scene to unfold and notice your thoughts and feeling as you interact. Don’t worry about how you’re doing, just let yourself go and be with them. Allow yourself to be drawn into the situation, and spend the next several minutes with this.

Step 6.

As the scene has unfolded, you have spent this very privileged time with Jesus. Freeze the action going on around you so that it is just the two of you now, and share with Jesus as you would with a close friend. What has this time meant to you? What are you feeling? Express your gratitude to Jesus, and receive his response. Then take your leave of him and we will begin to return to this place together.

Ignatian Prayer Practices

2009-06-10T22:55:00.002+10:00

It's not that there's nothing going on in my life these days, nor that I have no thoughts on current events, but I'm going to spend a few blogs sharing some methods of prayer with you based on the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius of Loyola, the founder of the Jesuits. These methods were developed when Ignatius was a lay person, and they are intended to help us become "contemplatives in action."

IGNATIAN CONTEMPLATION USING IMAGINATION AND SCRIPTURE

John 14:25-31

I have said these things to you while I am still with you. But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you everything, and remind you of all that I have said to you. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid. You heard me say to you, ‘I am going away, and I am coming to you.’ If you loved me, you would rejoice that I am going to the Father, because the Father is greater than I. And now I have told you this before it occurs, so that when it does occur, you may believe.

INTRODUCTION

In the prayer tradition of the "religions of the book," Scripture has a privileged place. It is one of the places where we believe we may encounter the Word of God spoken to us through the stories, poems, histories and prayers of our ancestors in faith. And it is the place where we have the best and fullest accounts of this man called Jesus of Nazareth, the one the Gospel of John calls “the Word Made Flesh.”

Where many of the scriptures were important as a source of more or less historical record, or a source of liturgical norms, moral codes, or wisdom teaching, there has always been a very central role for the scriptures in the lives of the communities who received them.

From the time of their earliest compositions, beginning in the Jewish traditions, the scriptures have been the basis of prayer… both for individuals and communities. The Psalms would be a good example, because they were recited every day by observant Jews, including Jesus, and subsequently by the Christian church in the form of the Liturgy of the Hours, the universal prayer of the Church.

So, scriptures have always been recited, reflected upon, and been the focus of meditation from the beginning. But it wasn’t until the sixteenth century when one particular Christian began to share a very innovative way of praying with Scripture, using the imagination.

Ignatius of Loyola, the founder of the Society of Jesus, the Jesuits, certainly wasn’t the first person ever to imagination while reading the Gospels, but he was the first to popularize a method of prayer that could be shared with others. And in fact, over the centuries, people who have learned this method of prayer have expressed how profoundly it has changed their lives. I don’t say that lightly either.

How can Ignatian Contemplative prayer change a person’s life? Most of us live a second hand faith, meaning that what we believe about Jesus, and in turn, the way we express our faith through devotional practices, and liturgy… all these things have been handed on to us by others. That’s why tradition plays such a crucial role in Catholicism.

But second hand faith, as important as it is, does not guarantee a first hand, person to person encounter with the Word Made Flesh, with Jesus. Now, evangelical Christians have their own take on what it means to have such an encounter with Jesus, where we make a fundamental option for Christ and through this, are “born again.”

When I talk about this person to person encounter with Jesus, I am talking about how we are invited to enter into the scriptures to meet Jesus there, and allow him to affect us by his presence. The vehicle for this encounter is the Holy Spirit, working through the medium of our imaginations. So, I am talking about a method of prayer that takes the Holy Spirit seriously, based on the belief that the Spirit always works in a mediated way through our human ways of knowing and feeling. Just as the Holy Spirit inspires us, fills us with energy, or courage, or enthusiasm, or peace… so the Spirit moves our imaginations.

“Imagination…” the problem with this word is that in our modern, scientific and very pragmatic world, “imagination” has connotations of unreality or fantasy. Like “myth” or “story,” imagination is a tricky sort of thing, because we tend to think of it as less true than hard facts. This is a problem if we’re trying to make sense out of an encounter we have with Jesus in this type of prayer, because we might be tempted to downplay its significance. We say, “Oh, it was only my mind playing tricks on me that Jesus spoke to me like that, or reached out to hold my hand.”

But for us as Christians, imagination has always had a very important role, and not only in the creative exercise of art, music, literature, or drama. Imagination is fundamental to all human activity. It remembers the past, projects possibilities for the future, shapes human desire, and without it, there can be no action.

Imagination helps to make possible the most incredible human endeavors… the frescoes of the Sistine Chapel, the technology necessary to reach the moon, the prophetic non-violence of Mahatma Gandhi… all of it began in the imagination.

There is a dark side to it, as there always is with things of the spirit…the possibility for infantile regression, delusion, prejudice, greed, grandiosity… and so we must acknowledge the need to discern the things we imagine. But let’s leave discernment for later at the moment. Stay tuned...

Awakening to Joy

2009-06-09T20:54:00.002+10:00

The picture is entitled "Joyful Awakening" by Kazuya Akimoto.

I think that after the past several posts, it might be time for a little light. I’d like to speak to you about JOY.

Just yesterday, I got a phone call from someone I’ve been working with over the past year. I asked if I could eventually share with people what he told me, so I have his permission.

This man is pretty young, a little older than me, with two beautiful little girls and a loving wife. He’s been struggling a long time to be at peace inside himself, to relax and simply be happy. His childhood had been tough… his dad had walked out on the family when he was three, and his mom was an alcoholic.

So, you get the idea that maybe simply being happy for this guy isn’t so simple. And he has really tried, maybe too hard.

But yesterday, he called to describe this experience he had Friday morning. His daughter’s school was having a “visiting dad’s day” and he had taken the morning off from work to come to kindergarten with her.

He told me that he spent the morning doing arts and crafts, making messes with paint and glue, and reading to a small group of his daughter’s classmates. It was almost like a confession when he said to me, “I can’t believe it, but I spent the morning playing...” He whispered this last word, as if that was something forbidden for a 41 year old man.

Then after the morning activities, and a trip to a park, he was walking the kids back across the street when something happened.

He watched as these little kids, holding on to a rope as they crossed the street, said and did all their cute little kid things. And he looked across the street to see where a long procession of black limos was just beginning to pull out of a funeral home, following a hearse.

And he looked up to see the blue sky, and heard the birds chirping, and he knew in that moment that everything was right with the world. There was living and dying going on, people at play, and people in mourning. Everything was in motion, and changing. And he was a part of it all.

He had been seized by a moment of joy.

It was one of the first times he could remember feeling like that, and even a day later, the feeling remained.

Now, I hope that we have all had moments like that, no matter how old we are, or what our physical condition is… moments when joy just sneaks up on us, and fills us with a sense of everything being right with the world, no matter what.

I’ve been thinking about what he told me these last few days. There are so many things to be learned from it.

It struck me that that joyful moment was not about achieving some great success at work. It wasn’t about winning the lottery and making it big. It wasn’t a public moment where everyone was telling him how much they loved him and approved of him.

Sure, these are the ways most of us seek for joy, but it wasn’t like that.

Rather than being something planned, it took him completely by surprise. It was more like receiving a gift that he never expected. And the feeling didn’t fade, like the passing excitement of a new purchase.

In fact, the crazy thing was just how simple it was; all he had to do was look, and see, to be awake, and to receive, to peacefully accept the way everything around him is in motion and changing, and himself with it.

How many times have I heard people tell me how unhappy they are, only to understand that they refuse to be happy until certain conditions are met?

We all do this-- we postpone our moment of joy until we’re financially secure, or we have risen to a certain position at work, or we are surrounded by adoring family members who love us without any tension or conflict.

How many times do I hear people tell me how they refuse to be happy until someone apologizes for something they said a month, a year, or ten years ago? Or people who are so wracked with guilt over something they did, that now they cannot find any real peace and contentment.

And then there are all those folks who are anxious about what happens tomorrow.

I think the point about my friend’s story is that those moments of joy that we long for are available to us right now. They’re under our noses, so to speak. They involve being awake, and aware, and open. They can’t really be earned, but we can be ready at a moment’s notice if we’re fully present.

And then I think about how many times Jesus said just that about the Kingdom… that it’s right here amongst us, and that we must stay awake, and be ready.

Happiness, the peaceful joy that we seek…it’s not far off. And while we can’t earn it or make it happen, we can practice for it and be ready, like being ready to catch a ball.

How can we practice?

We need to find time in our lives to play, to be like children again. We may not be able to recover our innocence, but we can set some time aside each day to do something we love, something that makes us feel alive, something that totally engages us in a moment of creativity, or fun. How do you like that, a priest telling you to have fun!

It also demands that we be fully present, and that means not dwelling in the past, or fretting about the future. Joy happens right now, not yesterday, and not tomorrow. An 18th century Jesuit named Jean de Caussade called this experience the sacrament of the present moment.

It is a simple thing. After living in various poor countries, it struck me that the problem with being rich is that it seems to take more and more money to make people happy, if that can ever be the way to true happiness in the first place.

On the other hand, I’ve seen people take ridiculous satisfaction in the simple things, catching a fish, building a wooden box, cooking a meal, or picking ripe vegetables from a garden.

Finally, it seems to me that the secret to joy is a peaceful acceptance of that cosmic motion and change happening all around us.

There are some things we can hold on to, and yet most things are beyond our grasp. As Paul tells us in his letter to the Philippians, even Jesus, the Son of God, did not think that equality with God was something to be grasped at. Jesus, more than any of us, knew what to hold on to, and when to let go. It takes wisdom to know what we can hold on to, and when we need to let go.
I humbly submit, herein lies one of the deep secrets to the joy we seek.

I want to close with a quote from St. Theresa of Avila, a woman renowned for her sense of humor and her deep joy.

“From somber, serious, sullen saints, save us, O Lord!”

Finding Resonance Across Religious Traditions

2009-06-08T23:35:00.002+10:00

A brief post- just got back from dinner with Venerable Robina Courtin, the Aussie Tibetan Buddhist nun I know through my friend Aliki in NYC. Remember that we had run into each other serendipitously on the same flight to Melbourne about a month ago. Robina has been fundraising for the many projects that she is supporting these days, in particular, a prison ministry to the incarcerated. We met up down at Manly Beach near Sydney for another deep chat about issues and themes of mutual interest... just a delight. It is wonderful and remarkable to me how people who deeply rooted in their religious traditions yet on a similar wavelength of mind and heart can have so much more in common rather than less. It gives me hope that despite the obvious tensions that arise between people of different faiths, that when we stay close to our experience and put our energies into practical affairs oriented toward the common good, we can collaborate for the benefit and wellbeing of human society.

Trinity Sunday: A Communion of Love

2009-06-07T19:41:00.002+10:00

Just got back from the weekend in Canberra, the capital of Australia, where Dan White, a tertian from the Missouri Province and I enjoyed the hospitality of the Jesuit Community there and spent a few days exploring the museums. I forget how nice it is to take a weekend away every once in a while... (I know, these eight months here in Australia aren't exactly heavy lifting).

Today as the Catholic Church celebrates Trinity Sunday, I am reminded of the great mystery we contemplate in the triune nature of God. Karl Rahner S.J., perhaps the most important Catholic theologian of the 20th Century reputedly said that if we try to make the mystery of the Trinity too clear and concrete, we commit heresy, and if we make the mystery so unintelligible and remote, this is a heresy too. So what can we say?

I am very moved by the depiction of the Trinity by the Russian icon painter, Andrei Rubliev, which portrays the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit as the three angels who come to Abraham and his wife Sarah, announcing that they will have a son in their old age and become the progenitors of a new people (see the Book of Genesis). In the way they are depicted, the angels leave a space at the table and seem to be inviting the person contemplating the icon to join them. I have the sense that there is a profound insight in the artist's depiction... that the loving communion-community of the Trinity is not exclusive, but radically inclusive, and that each of us are invited to participate in that community through our own life of love/love of life. In fact, I believe that when we express love in and through our relationships, commitments, creativity, and service, it is the living and dynamic energy of God that is being manifest in us.

The Greek Orthodox tradition describes the relationship between the three Divine persons as the perichoresis, the dance, and suggests that as we are drawn into closer communion with God through contemplation, worship, and loving action, we join the dance as well. I hope that each of us in our own way experience the joy of this dance!

Talking About Faith 3

2009-06-04T21:34:00.002+10:00

A friend commented that he was interested in my own experience of faith and wondered whether I am writing to express my own experience in these last two posts. I'd have to say that even though I grew up in a family practicing Catholicism, was baptised as a baby, received Communion, went to a Catholic grade school and all that, I feel a deep affinity with people who live from a less formally religious, more intuitive sense of faith. It is hard to explain, but there is something about the rawness and authenticity of such expressions of faith that resonates with me.

A friend once told me about his experiences in Vietnam, for instance. He said that while he grew up Catholic, he never took God seriously until he found himself crying out in desperation at a particularly dark point, "Are you there?" "Please, help me." He shared this with me as if to suggest that in foxholes, people who previously have never given God a second thought suddenly pray as if their lives depend on it. This may be true, but I would never judge a person for reaching out beyond themselves in a moment of absolute crisis. In fact, the word "precarious" means something along the lines of being brought to such a limit/edge that they begin to pray. It is natural that when we are functioning fine under our own steam, that we might neglect to take God into account. But when we are brought to our knees and our poor egos have nowhere else to turn, that we lose our illusion of self-sufficiency and discover our contingency on something/someone greater.

I know, all this is pretty heavy and you might be looking for pictures of cute koalas and kangaroos, but for some reason I feel compelled to be sharing these things these days. I know many people who are living at their limits these days, and feeling the vulnerability of their own fragile lives, or of the fragile lives of loved ones. And I want them to know that it is just fine to be turning to God in these times, if even for the first time in their lives. And that there is a sustaining power in patience and holding steady, in reaching out for help, in letting the tears flow with trust and confidence that LIFE flows on.

On a hopefully uplifting note, a poem by one of my favorite poets, Mary Oliver.

When I Am Among the Trees

When I am among the trees,
especially the willows and the honey locust,
equally the beech, the oaks, and the pines,
they give off such hints of gladness.
I would almost say that they save me, and daily.

I am so distant from the hope of myself,
in which I have goodness, and discernment,
and never hurry through the world
but walk slowly, and bow often.

Around me the trees stir in their leaves
and call out, “Stay awhile.”
The light flows from their branches.

And they call again, “It’s simple,” they say,
“and you too have come
into the world to do this, to go easy, to be filled
with light, and to shine.”

Mary Oliver, Thirst

Talking About Faith 2

2009-06-03T20:09:00.002+10:00

In the first post on faith, I was reflecting on the act of faith as distinct from the content of beliefs that we tend to associate with religion. One element that I neglected to include is the kind of existential openness that we might call awe, reverence, or sense of the sublime nature of existence. If I am not mistaken, this capacity for standing in relationship to mystery is a dimension of our naturally spiritual human experience. Even those who do not espouse belief in God (though I would ask, what God people are rejecting?) will admit to feeling a sort of wonder when they hold a newborn, or when they experience the breathtaking beauty of the Grand Canyon, or Uluru, or the Milky Way. I worry though, about people who consider themselves devoutly religious, yet do not leave room for such feeling -- those whose religions are about answers rather than questions, and certitude rather than faith.

Our Tertian director, Fr. Adrian Lyons, S.J. wrote a book called Imagine Believing, wherein he says "faith, at its best, is a way of knowing, a way of being in the world and a way of acknowledging that we human persons are not alone. Indeed, we never were. To be human is to be in dialogue."

Talking about Faith

2009-06-02T19:38:00.002+10:00

During the next three weeks, we are exploring a number of themes and issues in our morning conferences, including faith, social justice, and the history of the Jesuits. Yesterday, we began the conversation about faith with some thought provoking reflections, some of which I will share here. As you can imagine, sitting around with a bunch of Jesuit discussing a topic like faith is not exactly entertaining, but I hope that it might at least interesting. The views I present here are not intended to represent the perspectives of others let alone any consensus of the group (you probably know the that where two or three Jesuits gather, there are bound to be more than two or three often conflicting views).

First of all, what is faith? While many people tend to think immediately of religious beliefs, I tend to agree with those who make a distinction between faith and the content of what we believe. I tend to see faith as a quality of what it means to be human, that it is a self-transcending openness and desire for something/someone ultimate in our lives... a sort of tacit assumption in the trustworthy goodness of reality, and a willingness to be in relationship, even to depend on or be interdependent on an other. In a sense, when I say I have faith, I am saying that I believe in something or someone. I am saying I can imagine a future in which things unfold on behalf of our highest benefit (even if this involves temporary suffering), and that there is a potential in a person, an organization, in human society itself-- that will emerge when the conditions are right.

I think that perhaps one of the reasons I begin with this more fundamental assumption of faith as a dimension of our being human is that people who are not religious believers can and do join in the conversation on these terms. These days, the willingness to share experience at this very basic level seems more relevant as many people do not consider themselves religious in the formal sense; yet, we all must find ways of working together for our common future.

Contemporary challenges from the global economic collapse to climate change demand that we engage together on behalf of our world... tapping into a hopeful and constructive imagination of a more peaceful, just, and sustainable human society. Such a society requires people working together across religious and secular boundaries. If I am not mistaken, such collective labor for the common good requires tapping into this essential human quality, and a felt sense of good will. Does this make sense? Perhaps I am being to idealistic?

Tomorrow I will continue on this topic, so feel free to leave a comment and weigh in.

Our Day in Sydney Harbour on the Sailboat "Love and War"

2009-06-01T22:09:00.002+10:00

Despite threat of rain squalls all day, and more than a few showers, our tertian class enjoyed a day in Sydney Harbour on a famous sailboat, Love and War, three time winner of the Sydney/Hobart Classic ('74,'78, 2006). She was built for a man named Peter Kurts, whose brother Philip was an Aussie Jesuit. For the last several years, Philip's nephew has invited the tertians to come out for a spin the habour, and this year we couldn't let a little rain hold us back.

The story of the 2006 victory in the Hobart Classic is fairly famous due to the age of this boat ('73), relative to the rest of the competition. For the full story, check out the coverage at:

http://www.sailingworld.com/racing/racing-news/a-classic-takes-the-hobart-classic-48552.html

A little crazy, but they let me take the wheel. Behind me is Lindsay May, the captain of the 2006 team.

With such a capable crew, the tertians knew they could relax and enjoy the scenery!

I don't know if you can see it in the background over the city, but there is a trace of one of the many rainbows we saw that day. A real treat!

Pentecost

2009-05-30T22:27:00.002+10:00

As we come to the end of the Easter Season with the celebration of Pentecost tomorrow, I wanted to share a beautiful invocation of the Holy Spirit that we used for prayer in the past few days. It was written by St. Symeon the New Theologian, a tenth century poet and mystic in the Greek Orthodox tradition who believed that we can and should experience God directly. In fact, he reportedly suggested that if we do not taste eternal life here and now, we will not experience it after we die. More positively, he believed that we can come to this experience through contemplative prayer when we withdraw from the world of the senses and arrive at a profound interior stillness. Here is his prayer for the Holy Spirit:

Invocation of the Holy Spirit

Come, true light.
Come, life eternal.
Come, hidden mystery.
Come, treasure without name.

Come, reality beyond all words.
Come, person beyond all understanding.
Come, rejoicing without end.
Come, light that knows no evening.

Come, unfailing expectation of the saved.
Come, raising of the fallen.
Come, resurrection of the dead.
Come, all-powerful, for unceasingly you create, refashion and change all things by your will alone.

Come, for your name fills our hearts with longing, and is ever on our lips.
Come, for you are yourself the desire that is within me.
Come, my breath and my life.
Come, the consolation of my humble soul.

Come, my joy, my glory, my endless delight.

St. Symeon the New Theologian

Catching Up!

2009-05-29T22:38:00.002+10:00

So, those three weeks in the rural city of Mildura seemed simultaneously to whiz by, while at the same time, it felt as though I had been there years by the time I left. I guess life in a small town can be like that, no? And talk about small towns and it being a small world, a crazy coincidence. When I flew from Sydney to Melbourne on my way out there to Mildura, who did I run into in the line for the flight but one of three people I happened to know in Australia. Venerable Robina Courtin, pictured above, is an Australian born Tibetan Buddhist nun-- we met in NYC a few years back when she was there to do some teaching, and then accompanying Lama Zopa Rinpoche, a much loved Tibetan Buddhist holy man. Robina does fundraising for a variety of social causes and is one amazing bundle of energy! We had a great time sitting on the plane, completely absorbed in conversation and fairly oblivious to anything going on around us-- one of those wonderful serendipitous meetings. As a former Catholic (does anyone really stop being Catholic?), she shared marvelous insights about the Eucharist, and about living as a celibate. Hopefully we'll connect again now that I'm in Sydney for a few weeks.

In this picture above, many of the 26 retreatants from our Retreat in Daily Life are pictured as we celebrated their experience of the three weeks. What a grace it was to accompany 14 people through their experience of drawing close to God through the practice of daily meditation and contemplation... of their allowing God the freedom to give Godself to each of them in a loving and personal way. While I have given hundreds of retreats over the years, it never ceases to amaze me how God works in people's lives in such a way that their freedom is never compromised, but rather, God's love leads people away from the traps and limits of their false selves into a new and more abundant kind of life. This new life is more self-accepting, compassionate, open to growth, and free for commitment, creativity, relationship, and service of others.

One of the challenges of giving retreats is of getting to know people very quickly, loving them and then having to say goodbye. There is a bit of ascetism in this... staying out of God's way, giving people the resources to help themselves, not trying to fix people or situations, or claiming credit for "success." I still have some learning and growing to do around all of this. But this retreat in particular reassured me of how powerfully God can work with people when they are ripe for change, and this was breathtaking to witness.

Pictured above are some of my new friends from Mildura. Anne Marie DiMasi (grey jacket), her sister Melina (green jacket), and Melina's husband Nick Conte, and their daughter Vittoria (a little shy with the paparazzi). Anne Marie and Melina were both on the retreat and invited me to their homes for some fantastic Italian feasts. It didn't take long to feel like family-- they even let me cook in their kitchen!

That particular day was the high point of the three weeks in many ways, as we visited a World Heritage Site called Mungo, 110 km NE of Mildura. Haven't heard of Mungo? Neither have many Mildurans, but it is considered a site of immense importance in terms of anthropology. It is the site of the Willandra lake chain, a now dry inland sea, where there are remains of Aboriginal life that go back 40,000 years. In the picture below, I am kneeling at a site where Aboriginal people had a firepit around that old. Quite amazing!

In the next few days, I will share a bit about the few days in Melbourne, and then what we're up to these days as we begin to reflect on the connections between faith and justice.

Back from Melbourne

2009-05-27T22:56:00.002+10:00

Just got back from Melbourne where I spent a few days with several of the other tertians... will write a few catch up posts in the next few days to wrap up the experience giving retreats, and to share some pictures from the adventures.

Reflections on Shadow Work

2009-05-24T10:01:00.002+10:00

For some reason, the text was wonky (another expression from down unda!) in the last post. If you couldn't read it, here it is again.

My Thoughts on Work with our Shadows

Shadow work takes a lifetime and is never done.

Holiness is not rigidity or perfection, but a profound acceptance of God’s loving embrace of our whole selves, including our shadows. So growth is more a matter of transcending and including our old patterns, habits, and previously disowned characteristics, rather than ever leaving them entirely behind us.

The more close we come to God, paradoxically, the more aware we are of our shadows. This is the experience of many saints and holy people throughout history. Imagine God’s love as a spotlight on a rose… the brighter the light, the more distinct the shadow becomes. This, however, need not lead us into neurosis, but rather, to humility, gratitude, and a profound compassion for others.

Shadow work suggests that a purity that is not also earthy is suspect. Consider that the word “humility” shares the same roots as “humus,” “humor,” and “human.”

Shadow work should seldom be undertaken alone, but is well supported by a skillful counselor, a mature spiritual director, a wise friend.

Shadow work is not linear, concrete, or predictable, but requires that we live with ambiguity- exploring dreams, symbols, and experiences filled with mystery.

Shadow work is often facilitated when we have loving friends who can share their perspectives gently and honestly. How poorly served we can be if our so called friends only offer us compliments?

Shadow work helps us to recognize the way that we project aspects of ourselves on others, and in turn, helps us to see how people project both “bad” and “good” qualities on us. As a result, it can help us avoid taking things so personally. This is also why it is the people who do truly know us can hurt us so deeply. So be kind to one another.

For people with a low self-esteem, it is often the case that shadow characteristics include hidden gifts, strengths, and so called “enviable” qualities found in others. For people with exaggerated self-esteem, it is often the case that shadow characteristics include essential vulnerabilities such as sensitivity to others, the feeling of one’s own emotional need, and the capacity to depend in a healthy way on others.

Because shadow work is so delicate, it is important to be aware of our motives for doing it in the first place. If our motive is not to respond in a more loving way to the infinite love of God for us as we are, then our motive may be an egoistic desire for perfection. Let our motive be that of love.

Each of our shadows has a story to tell and a gift to offer us if we are willing to pay attention. So pay attention!

My Thoughts on Shadow Work

2009-05-21T23:27:00.001+10:00

My Thoughts on Work with our Shadows

Shadow work takes a lifetime and is never done.

Holiness is not rigidity or perfection, but a profound acceptance of God’s loving embrace of our whole selves, including our shadows. So growth is more a matter of transcending and including our old patterns, habits, and previously disowned characteristics, rather than ever leaving them entirely behind us.

The more close we come to God, paradoxically, the more aware we are of our shadows. This is the experience of many saints and holy people throughout history. Imagine God’s love as a spotlight on a rose… the brighter the light, the more distinct the shadow becomes. This, however, need not lead us into neurosis, but rather, to humility, gratitude, and a profound compassion for others.

Shadow work suggests that a purity that is not also earthy is suspect. Consider that the word “humility” shares the same roots as “humus,” “humor,” and “human.”

Shadow work should seldom be undertaken alone, but is well supported by a skillful counselor, a mature spiritual director, a wise friend.

Shadow work is not linear, concrete, or predictable, but requires that we live with ambiguity- exploring dreams, symbols, and experiences filled with mystery.

Shadow work is often facilitated when we have loving friends who can share their perspectives gently and honestly. How poorly served we can be if our so called friends only offer us compliments?

Shadow work helps us to recognize the way that we project aspects of ourselves on others, and in turn, helps us to see how people project both “bad” and “good” qualities on us. As a result, it can help us avoid taking things so personally. This is also why it is the people who do truly know us can hurt us so deeply. So be kind to one another.

For people with a low self-esteem, it is often the case that shadow characteristics include hidden gifts, strengths, and so called “enviable” qualities found in others. For people with exaggerated self-esteem, it is often the case that shadow characteristics include essential vulnerabilities such as sensitivity to others, the feeling of one’s own emotional need, and the capacity to depend in a healthy way on others.

Because shadow work is so delicate, it is important to be aware of our motives for doing it in the first place. If our motive is not to respond in a more loving way to the infinite love of God for us as we are, then our motive may be an egoistic desire for perfection. Let our motive be that of love.

Each of our shadows has a story to tell and a gift to offer us if we are willing to pay attention. So pay attention!

Integrating the Shadow: A Method

2009-05-21T23:22:00.002+10:00

Shadow Work

The following is a brief description of the process by which we dissociate from shadow elements of our personality and experience, followed by a method for helping to re-integrate those disowned elements of ourselves.

The 1-2-3 Dissociative Process

• In the first phase, we experience but reject the shadow characteristic
• In the second phase we project the shadow outside of ourselves
• In the third phase, the shadow becomes an “it,” an object separate from us.

The 3-2-1 Integrative Process- a means of identifying and re-owning the dis-identified and repressed elements.

The 3-2-1 Shadow Work Process, Integral Life Practice (2008), Wilber, Patten, Leonard, & Morelli (pp. 50-51)

Two ways of identifying the Shadow:

• “Makes you negatively hypersensitive, easily triggered, reactive, irritated, angry, hurt, or upset. Or it may keep coming up as an emotional tone or mood that pervades your life.” (p. 50)
• “Makes you positively hypersensitive, easily infatuated, possessive, envious, over attracted, or becomes an ongoing idealization that structures your motivations or moods.” (p. 50)

1- Face it
Observe the disturbance closely and then using a journal, or the “empty chair” describe the person, situation, or sensation in vivid detail using 3rd person pronouns such as “he,” “him,” “she,” “her,” “it,” “they,” etc. In order to bring the disturbance to light, you might intentionally exaggerate what bothers you most by using as much detail as possible.

2- Talk to It
Enter into a simulated dialogue with this object of awareness using 2nd person pronouns (“you” and “yours”). This is your opportunity to enter into relationship with the disturbance, so talk directly to the person, situation, image, or sensation in your awareness. You may begin by asking questions like, “who/what are you?” “What do you need to tell me?” “What gift are you bringing me?” Using your imagination, allow the disturbance to respond back to you, allowing yourself to be surprised by what emerges in the dialogue.

3- Be It
Now writing or speaking in the 1st person, using the pronouns “I,” “me,” “mine,” be the person, situation, image, or sensation that you have been exploring. See the world, including yourself, entirely from the perspective of that disturbance and allow yourself to discover not only your similarities, but how you are really one and the same. Finally, make a statement of identification: “I am _____” or “_____ is me.” It is natural to feel resistant to accepting this because after all, this is what your psyche has been resisting for quite some time.

It is very important to move from an intellectual to an affective acceptance of the disowned elements, so that the process of integration can be completed. Once this occurs, you may notice a felt sensation of expansion, of increased energy, a sense of peaceful and grounded wholeness.

Reflections and Scriptures Related to Shadow Work

2009-05-21T23:15:00.002+10:00

Reflections and Scriptures Related to Shadow Work

“In order to find God in ourselves, we must stop looking at ourselves, stop checking and verifying ourselves in the mirror of our own futility, and be content to be in Him and to do whatever He wills, according to our limitations, judging our acts not in the light of our own illusions, but in the light of His reality which is all around us in the things and people we live with.”

Thomas Merton, No Man is an Island

“All seek peace first of all with themselves. That is necessary, because we do not naturally find rest even in our own being. We have to learn to commune with ourselves before we can communicate with other men and with God. A person who is not at peace with himself necessarily projects his interior fighting into the society of those he lives with, and spreads a contagion of conflict all around him."

Thomas Merton, No Man is an Island

Luke 6:41 We are Hypocrites, Naturally; Be the Change You Want to See in Others

“Why do you see the speck in your neighbor's eye, but do not notice the log in your own eye? Or how can you say to your neighbor, 'Friend, let me take out the speck in your eye,' when you yourself do not see the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your neighbor's eye.”

Luke 11:24-26 The Danger in Willful Repression of the Shadow

"When the unclean spirit has gone out of a man, he passes through waterless places seeking rest; and finding none he says, `I will return to my house from which I came.'
And when he comes he finds it swept and put in order. Then he goes and brings seven other spirits more evil than himself, and they enter and dwell there; and the last state of that man becomes worse than the first."

Luke 6:37 Avoid Judging; Forgive and Be Forgiven

"Do not judge, and you will not be judged; and do not condemn, and you will not be condemned; pardon, and you will be pardoned.”

Luke 11:34 The Light of a Person is in their Looking

“When the eye is full of light, so one’s whole being is filled with light… But when one’s eye is dark, so too one’s whole being is filled with darkness.”

The Dynamics of Shadows and Projection

2009-05-20T17:05:00.002+10:00

Jung's theory suggests that shadows are generated when we exert energy to hide and repress undesirable or frightening qualities in ourselves... aspects that we do not see or want to see as part of our persona, the personality-image that we present to the world. These may be traits that we've been taught to fear, or dislike (i.e. neediness, emotional vulnerability, sexual urges, jealousy, the "Seven Deadly Sins," etc), or perhaps they are traits that lie in potency but that we have yet to recognize and develop (personal power, independence, charisma, sociability, the "Seven Virtues," etc).

Whether in the case of the traits we have disowned out of fear or dislike, or the case of traits that we have not yet discovered, when we encounter people who trigger our shadow, we tend to project our disowned traits on them, with the effect of exaggerating their own traits. In other words, a person may have their own share of vanity, or materialism, but we add ours to theirs and all of the sudden they seem to embody these shadows for us (often to the exclusion of other aspects of their personalities). If our projection upon them involves our "negative" traits, this usually generates some degree of aversion to this person. If our projection upon another person involves our undiscovered "positive" traits, we may find ourselves unusually enamoured, fascinated by, envious of, or dependent on them.

Here are some examples of what symptoms we might report, and what is going on at the subconscious level of our shadow.

Examples of Symptoms and Shadows

Symptom Shadow Form

Rejection (nobody likes me) Rejection (I reject them)
Guilt Resentment of another’s demands on me
Anxiety Excitement
Sadness (women) Anger
Feeling Mad (men) Feeling Sad
Obligation “I have to” Desire “I want to”
Envy “I’m better than I realize”
Dependency Autonomy

Notice that in the case of some of the symptoms, there may be differences based on gender socialization, for instance, in many cultures, men are discouraged from expressing sadness, and instead, manifest a more socially acceptable emotion, anger. By the same token, women are often socialized in such a way that discourages their expression of anger, or of power, and in turn, they manifest sadness, even depression.

Stay tuned for ways of integrating these shadows for the sake of greater personal wholeness and healthier interpersonal relationships.

Just What Is Shadow Work Anyway?

2009-05-19T23:14:00.002+10:00

So, these past several posts refer to work with our shadows, but what am I really talking about? Using terms taken from Jungian psychology, I am referring to the disowned aspects and dimensions of our personalities that we tend to hide and repress in order to present instead our preferred characteristics. Our preferred characteristics become a sort of persona or mask-- By mask, I am not suggesting that these characteristics are false, but simply that they are not the whole story of who we are. A few brief words on the premises of this presentation:

Psychology and Spirituality

Psychology and Spirituality as complimentary so long as we are willing to hold the both/and complimentarity of nature and grace. While psychology will never totally comprehend, let alone explain our spiritual lives, it can nonetheless shed some valuable light on our experience.
There will always be limits to any psychological theory, just as there are limits in theology and spirituality.

Jung on the Spiritual Journey of the Self

• The spiritual maturation of the self is a process of evolving integration of opposites, i.e. masculine (animus) & feminine (anima) qualities, and persona & shadow.
• Self-realization leads to self-transcendence (not selfishness)
• The persona is the idealized self that we prefer the world sees
• The shadow contains the mirror qualities of the persona, disowned and dis-identified, left in our blind-spot, though very influential on us and on our relationships.

Personal reflection and Exercise

Identify the characteristics of your persona and of your shadow (to the best of your ability); Describe the traits of one person who tends to “get under your skin.”

My persona, the characteristics that I prefer people to see in me:

My shadow, the mirroring characteristics that I know I would prefer people not see:

While the shadows described above are the ones we know about already, in order to illuminate the shadows in our “blind spot, “ describe the characteristics of just one person who “gets under your skin.”

Stay tuned for the next couple of posts and feel free to comment/ask questions.

Another Reflection on Seeing and Embracing Our Whole Selves, Shadows Included

2009-05-19T08:17:00.002+10:00

This reflection by 19th century poet Gerard Manley Hopkins, S.J. describes the miraculous process through which God calls each of us into our uniqueness. It conveys the graced sentiment that truly, the privilege of a lifetime is becoming our true selves, including both our lights and shadows. As in his poetry, Hopkins plays around with grammar and syntax, so it might take a few reads.

“Selving”

I find myself both as man and as myself something most determined and distinctive, at pitch, myself with my pleasures and pains, my powers and my experiences, my deserts and guilt, my shame and sense of beauty, my dangers, hopes, fears, and all my fate, more important to myself than anything I see.

And when I ask where this throng and stack of beings, so rich, so distinctive, so important, come from /nothing I see can answer me. And this whether I speak of human nature of or anything in the world, can have been developed, evolved, condensed, from the vastness of the world not anyhow or by the working of common powers but only by one of finer or higher pitch and determination than itself and certainly than any that elsewhere we see (in other words, God), for this power had to force forward the starting or stubborn elements to the one pitch required.

And this is much more true when we consider the mind; when I consider my self-being, my consciousness and feeling of myself, that taste of myself, of I and me above and in all things, which is more distinctive than the taste of ale or alum, more distinctive than the smell of walnut-leaf or camphor, and is incommunicable by any means to another man (as when I was a child I used to ask myself: What must it be to be someone else?). Nothing else in nature comes near this unspeakable stress of pitch, distinctiveness, and selving, this self-being of my own. Nothing explains it or resembles it, except so far as this, that other men to themselves have the same feeling.

Devlin C. S.J. (Ed) 1959. The Sermons and Devotional Writings of Gerard Manley Hopkins. London: Oxford University Press p.123

Reflections and Scripture Related to Shadow Work

2009-05-18T23:10:00.002+10:00

Reflections and Scriptures Related to Shadow Work

“In order to find God in ourselves, we must stop looking at ourselves, stop checking and verifying ourselves in the mirror of our own futility, and be content to be in Him and to do whatever He wills, according to our limitations, judging our acts not in the light of our own illusions, but in the light of His reality which is all around us in the things and people we live with.”

Thomas Merton, No Man is an Island

“All seek peace first of all with themselves. That is necessary, because we do not naturally find rest even in our own being. We have to learn to commune with ourselves before we can communicate with other men and with God. A person who is not at peace with himself necessarily projects his interior fighting into the society of those he lives with, and spreads a contagion of conflict all around him. Even when he tried to do good to others, his efforts are hopeless, since he does not know how to do good himself.”

Thomas Merton, No Man is an Island

Luke 6:41 We are Hypocrites, Naturally; So Be the Change You Want to See in Others

“Why do you see the speck in your neighbor's eye, but do not notice the log in your own eye? Or how can you say to your neighbor, 'Friend, let me take out the speck in your eye,' when you yourself do not see the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your neighbor's eye.” Jesus of Nazareth

Luke 11:24-26 The Danger in Willful Repression of the Shadow

"When the unclean spirit has gone out of a man, he passes through waterless places seeking rest; and finding none he says, `I will return to my house from which I came.'
And when he comes he finds it swept and put in order. Then he goes and brings seven other spirits more evil than himself, and they enter and dwell there; and the last state of that man becomes worse than the first." Jesus of Nazareth

Luke 6:37 Avoid Judging; Forgive and Be Forgiven

"Do not judge, and you will not be judged; and do not condemn, and you will not be condemned; pardon, and you will be pardoned.” Jesus of Nazareth

Luke 11:34 The Light of a Person is in their Looking

“When the eye is full of light, so one’s whole being is filled with light… But when one’s eye is dark, so too one’s whole being is filled with darkness.” Jesus of Nazareth

Second Workshop in Applied Spirtuality: Exploring the Shadow

2009-05-17T22:25:00.002+10:00

Wow, these days of six and seven hours of spiritual direction have kept me occupied, so I've been remiss with the blog. Hope that you've found the material on discernment useful? Tomorrow night I am giving a workshop on what I believe to be one of the most important but also the most overlooked elements of the spiritual life: how we deal with our shadows. By shadows, I am referring to what Carl Jung identified as those elements of our personalities that we tend to disown, and consequentially, which we also tend to project on others. More heavy stuff, I know, but hopefully of service to people in their spiritual growth and personal maturation.

As we look at the situation in our world today, I have a strong feeling that when we try to make a positive difference, we need to follow Jesus' suggestion that we remove the 2x4 out of our own eye before trying to take the speck out of our neighbor's. Do you know what I am talking about? Another way of thinking about the primacy of own own inner work is inspired by Gandhi's quote, "be the change that you want to see in the world." Otherwise as we try to change others, or fix broken systems and organizations, we unwittingly recreate, even replicate the same problems we had intended to fix (think, for instance, of the ways that political revolutions swing from one extreme to the next, or the way that interventions in organizations often create a more subtle but nonetheless mirrorlike reflection of the original dysfunctions. Make sense?

While I will end the workshop with some poetry, I thought that tonight I would begin with one of those poems: In a Dark Time, by Theodore Roethke.

In a Dark Time

In a dark time, the eye begins to see,
I meet my shadow in the deepening shade;
I hear my echo in the echoing wood--
A lord of nature weeping to a tree.
I live between the heron and the wren,
Beasts of the hill and serpents of the den.

What's madness but nobility of soul
At odds with circumstance? The day's on fire!
I know the purity of pure despair,
My shadow pinned against a sweating wall.

That place among the rocks--is it a cave,
Or winding path? The edge is what I have.
A steady storm of correspondences!
A night flowing with birds, a ragged moon,
And in broad day the midnight come again!

A man goes far to find out what he is--
Death of the self in a long, tearless night,
All natural shapes blazing unnatural light.
Dark, dark my light, and darker my desire.

My soul, like some heat-maddened summer fly,
Keeps buzzing at the sill. Which I is I?
A fallen man, I climb out of my fear.
The mind enters itself, and God the mind,
And one is One, free in the tearing wind.

Theodore Roethke, Eight American Poets

Back to some Aussie Slang

2009-05-14T13:54:00.002+10:00

I know, four days on Ignatian Discernment might feel a little heavy, so here's a little comic relief. Back to the Aussie slang for a day or two.

D
Dag : a funny person, nerd, goof
Daks : trousers
Damper : bread made from flour and water
Date : arse ("get off your fat date")
Dead dingo's donger, as dry as a : dry
Dead horse : Tomato sauce
Deadset : true, the truth
Dero : tramp, hobo, homeless person (from "derelict")
Digger : a soldier
Dill : an idiot
Dingo's breakfast : a yawn, a leak and a good look round (i.e. no breakfast)
Dinkum, fair dinkum : true, real, genuine ("I'm a dinkum Aussie"; "is he fair dinkum?")
Dinky-di : the real thing, genuine
Dipstick : a loser, idiot
Divvy van : Police vehicle used for transporting criminals. Named after the protective 'division' between the driver and the villains.
Dob (somebody) in : inform on somebody. Hence dobber, a tell-tale
Docket : a bill, receipt
Doco : documentary
Dog : unattractive woman
Dog's balls, stands out like : obvious
Dog's eye : meat pie
Dole bludger : somebody on social assistance when unjustified

Down Under : Australia and New Zealand
Drink with the flies : to drink alone
Drongo : a dope, stupid person
Dropkick : see 'dipstick'
Drum : information, tip-off ("I'll give you the drum")
Duchess : sideboard
Duffer, cattle : rustler
Dummy, spit the : get very upset at something
Dunny : outside lavatory
Dunny budgie : blowfly
Dunny rat, cunning as a : very cunning
Durry : tobacco, cigarette
Dux : top of the class (n.); to be top of the class (v.) - "She duxed four of her subjects".

E
Earbashing : nagging, non-stop chatter
Ekka : the Brisbane Exhibition, an annual show
Esky : large insulated food/drink container for picnics, barbecues etc.
Exy : expensive

F
Face, off one's : drunk ("He was off his face by 9pm")
Fair dinkum : true, genuine
Fair go : a chance ("give a bloke a fair go")
Fair suck of the sav! : exclamation of wonder, awe, disbelief (see also "sav")
Fairy floss : candy floss, cotton candy
Feral : V8 ute (q.v.) sporting large heavy bullbar, numerous aerials, large truck mudflaps and stickers almost all over the rear window and tailgate. Sometimes seen with a Mack emblem on the bonnet and always with large (multiple) driving lights
Feral (n.) : a hippie
Figjam : "F*ck I'm good; just ask me". Nickname for people who have a high opinion of themselves
Fisho : fishmonger
Flake : shark's flesh (sold in fish & chips shops)
Flat out like a lizard drinking : flat out, busy
Flick : to give something or somebody the flick is to get rid of it or him/her
Flick it on : to sell something, usually for a quick profit, soon after buying it.
Fly wire : gauze flyscreen covering a window or doorway.
Footy : Australian Rules football
Fossick : search, rummage ("fossicking through the kitchen drawers")
Fossick : to prospect, e.g. for gold
Fossicker : prospector, e.g. for gold

Fremantle Doctor : the cooling afternoon breeze that arrives in Perth from the direction of Freeo
Freo : Fremantle in Western Australia
Frog in a sock, as cross as a : sounding angry - a person or your hard drive!
Fruit loop : fool
Full : drunk

Discernment and Decision Making Part 4

2009-05-13T11:05:00.001+10:00

Excerpts from Listening Hearts: Discerning Call in Community, by Farnham, Gill, McLean & Ward (1991)

In discernment we move through and beyond our feelings, our thoughts, and our reasoning about what God wants of us, to be led by God’s Spirit toward action.

Discernment of call involves intuition and insight, “…for that which has not been told them, they shall see, and that which they have not heard, they shall understand” (Isaiah 52:15; RSV). As we respond in faith and action, we gain insight.

Discernment is often tentative and uncertain. We may not feel a great sense of having found the truth… Ultimately, discernment requires our willingness to act in faith on our sense of what God wants us to do. Then the way reveals itself in response to our faith.

God speaks, touches, and reveals in God’s own way and in God’s own time. Still, the presence of certain conditions, such as trust, prayer, and patience, makes discernment of God’s call more likely… It is God’s call, not mere decision making, that we seek.

In order to discern which path is authentic, all involved need to desire to know God, to be willing to be pervaded by God’s presence. We need to go through a process that cleanses our vision to see what is true and frees our will to act on what we see. Here are some ways we may prepare to hear God’s call.

Trust: we have to be willing to trust God and one another.

Listening: Discernment involves listening. We must listen with open hearts and minds, especially to what we don’t want to hear. We must let go of our preconceptions and expectations… We need to listen with our bodies as well as our minds… We must listen in silence.

Prayer: Prayer for discernment involves listening. Through prayer we seek for ourselves total attentiveness to the all-embracing presence of Christ. For Christ is found in the circumstances, the people, and the things of daily life.

Knowledge of Scripture: Scripture is central to discerning call. It gives us access to the experience of God’s people in history. Moreover, as the living Word of God, Scripture continues to communicate with us.

Humility: Humility, grounded in self-knowledge, helps us to avoid the distortions of both inordinate self-confidence and exaggerated self-doubt. A humble person is someone who is without pretense, down to earth… An attitude of humility allows us to accept dependence on God and one another and to be open to God’s turning us in a new or unexpected direction.

Patience and Urgency: It is God’s call, not our call. So we need to be patient… Still, while patience is called for at times, a sense of urgency is sometime imperative.

Perspective: Do not make an idol of discernment. “The only priority worth having is knowing and loving God. Stay in the space of Love. Do not be lured out of it.” If discernment follows, fine; if not, so be it. Let it rest lightly. “Release your discernment from your ego and expectations. Flow as a stream that is useful to those who can take” from it and is “in no way diminished by those who can’t.”

At the same time, “Be true to what is inside. Put weight on it. Live by it. Hold it with sufficient tentativeness to be open to others…and with sufficient tenacity to live it out until moved differently.”

Seeking God does not demand the unusual, the spectacular, the heroic. It is in the hear and now, the ordinary situation of normal life, that we find God. A true call is likely to be modest in scope. If we try to save the world, we become immobilized.

Obstacles to discernment can arise from:
1. Cultural values that do not reflect God’s values
2. Prosperity- remember the rich man who is possessed by his possessions
3. Self-interest- God’s will usually involves other people’s interests as well
4. Self-absorption- the world is bigger than us.
5. Self-righteousness- this arrogance is a sense of being separate from others on moral grounds
6. Desire for security- remember, the foxes have lairs and birds have nests,
but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head.
7. Desire for certainty- faith is not certainly but the courage to act in the face of uncertainty.
8. Human time frames- these must give God a chuckle. Impatience is a major impediment to
discernment.
9. Self-doubt- we must trust in ourselves as well as God

Signs of God’s call to watch for:
1. Peace and serenity that endures through ups and downs
2. Joy
3. A temporary experience of disorientation, followed by calm and serenity
4. Tears that are comforting and tranquilizing, rather than disturbing and fatiguing
5. A sudden sense of clarity
6. Strands of experience that seem unrelated begin to converge and fit together
7. Persistence of a message that keeps recurring through different channels

The real test is not how much we want to do something but how much love is a part of what we want to do.

Discernment and Decision Making Part 3

2009-05-12T22:36:00.002+10:00

Suggestions from IGNATIUS OF LOYOLA’S PROCESS FOR DECISION MAKING

This is one of several methods that Ignatius recommended for decision making and he recommended it for those times when we do not experience a lot of feeling/inclination one way or another, or feel some ambivalence about our choice. Often this is because we are trying to choose between two or more "goods."

1. The first point is to focus my attention on the choice or decision that I want to make, whether it is to undertake a new responsibility, a decision about a relationship, to move to a different place, or whatever other kind of choice it may be.

2. I recall that I have been created by God to give God praise through the flourishing of my life. I seek to find the freedom of indifference, not to be influenced by any disordered attachments so that I am not more disposed one way or another in the matter of my choice. I try to imagine myself like the scales in a balance, in poised equanimity, ready to follow the course that is most aligned with my life’s ultimate purpose.

3. I rely on God to move my will and reveal to my soul how I might best make a choice in harmony with God’s will. After examining the matter thoroughly and conscientiously, I make a decision that is aligned with God’s will, as best as I understand it.

4. I will use my reason to carefully weigh both the advantages and disadvantages involved in both sides of my choices.

5. After weighing the matter carefully, examining it from every angle, I will consider what alternative appears the most reasonable. Acting on the basis of my reason, rather than any other factors, I come to a decision in the matter.

6. After the decision has been reached, I present this choice to God for confirmation, provided it is intended for God’s greater service and praise. Confirmation may come in a variety of forms, particularly feelings of peace, energy, a deepened sense of integrity, etc.

If there is still a sense of ambivalence, he recommends three “thought experiments”:

a. Imagine a person who you do not know and who is facing the same choice. How would you counsel them?

b. Imagine yourself on your death bed and consider that you would wish to have chosen.

c. Imagine that you meet Christ after death, he who loved you to the end, and he asks you to share with him the decision you have made.

Once we have done our best to make a good discernment, Ignatius recommended we proceed by executing our choice with peace in knowing that we did our best, and in confidence in God’s loving kindness for us. We are also recommended to avoid suggesting that we know God’s will with any certitude, but nonetheless to have humble confidence in our choices.

Discernment and Decision Making Part 2

2009-05-12T13:36:00.003+10:00

This is the second post on the topic of discernment and decision making... As mentioned in the previous post, it is very helpful if we know whether we are head, heart, or gut centered decision makers. While we might be very lucky in our tendency to use one of these "energy centers" for making decisions, we might also try blending head, heart, and gut in the way we sort through and make life choices.

ARE WE HEAD, HEART, OR GUT CENTERED?

Depending on whether we tend to make decisions based on our heads, our hearts, or our guts, we may want to stretch ourselves by paying attention to the dimensions we often neglect. For example, if I tend to make decisions in a cool, rational manner, I might also want to pay attention to what my heart and my gut tell me. Consider the following questions.

HEAD

• What are the practical considerations that have to be taken into account in the decision you are to make?
• What facts are known? What is unknown?
• What are the limits of the resources available?
• What are the logical or predicable outcomes of each option I am considering?
• What are the advantages and disadvantages of each option?

HEART

• What are the values at stake in the options available to me?
• Do I have any strong or subtle feelings regarding the different options?
• Do I have a sense of consolation or desolation regarding the possible outcomes of my choices?
• Do the choices I am considering reflect my life’s passions and aspirations, my beliefs and convictions?
• How are other people going to be affected by my choice?

GUT

• Do I have any instinctive responses to the options I am facing?
• Is my intuition inclining me in one direction or the other?
• Is there any immediate reaction or impulse I experienced when I discovered I had a choice to make?
• Is my body telling me anything—a sense of relaxation or tension? Where is my physical energy—up or down?

OTHER RESOURCES

• We might also find it helpful to pay attention to our dreams
• Do I notice coincidences regarding my choices, for instance in the timing of things?
• Do I notice a sense of serendipity (a meaningful correlation between the choices I am making and the way simultaneous events are unfolding around me?

Discernment and Decision Making

2009-05-11T23:31:00.002+10:00

We're into the second week of this retreat in daily life for 25 parishioners here at Sacred Heart in Mildura... I'm enjoying the experience of one to one spiritual direction very much. It is hard not to be deeply moved listening to the ordinary/extraordinariness of people's lives in relationship with God. I've also been doing some workshops on "applied spirituality." This evening's topic was discernment and decision making. While the dynamic of the workshop won't come across in the text, I thought I might post sections of it over the next couple of days. Feel free to cut and paste it into a document if you find any of it helpful.

INTRODUCTION: DISCERNMENT DEFINED

While many of us would love to wake up one day with a blueprint for our lives in an envelope under the door, complete with step by step instructions, I’ve never met anyone who has. There is a real dignity and adventure to discovering our true path for ourselves, step by step. We “build the bridge by walking on it.”

Discernment: the capacity to separate and distinguish elements that constitute the reality to be understood, and the decision to be made. From the perspective of our spirituality (define), it demands faith in God and in one’s own experience; a relationship with God based on love, not fear; courage; self-discipline; patience; self-knowledge; and maturity.

It is a disposition toward life that is at the same time, contemplative and deeply penetrating into the complexity and nuance of things. Discernment is an essential stage in a process of Spirit led decision-making. The better our discernment, the better our decision-making.

It is exercised for the purpose of cooperating with God’s intention to bring life to fullness and to increase our freedom from fear, that we might be more available for love, creativity, and service.

THE FOUNDATION AND GOAL OF LIFE

How do we begin? With end points… what do we believe the ultimate goal of our lives to be? When we have some clarity about our ultimate life goal, this gives us a sense of orientation, a compass for daily life. If I know where I want to end up, this helps me to understand how to relate to everything else, how to establish priorities and principles for decision making.

GROWING IN INTIMACY WITH GOD AND SELF-AWARENESS

Spiritual discernment requires that we are rooted and grounded in a lively personal relationship with God, as intimate as we are with a spouse or best friend.

We cultivate this relationship through the reading of Scripture, through conversational and imaginative prayer, and regular worship in a faith community. We also cultivate this relationship through our active service of others and the sharing of our faith.

While we learn so much about who we are in and through our relationships with God and with others, one relationship is often neglected: with ourselves. We can cultivate the relationship with ourselves and grow in self awareness by taking quiet time each day, journaling, making retreats, doing dream-work, etc.

In order to make good and Spirit led decisions, we need to know what makes us tick: we do we value and love? What do we fear? What do we resist? What are our habits and patterns? What hidden influences and blind-spots trip us up?

CONSOLATION OR DESOLATION? (more than a feeling, though feelings are involved)

Whenever we are trying to discern and decide, we have to be aware of whether we are in consolation or desolation (most dramatically, whether we are feeling blessed or cursed; less dramatically, am I feeling connected to God, self, and other, or alienated from God, self, and other.

HEAD, HEART, OR GUT?

It is helpful to know whether or not we tend to be people who make decisions based on our heads, our hearts, or our guts. Knowing our tendencies also can help us by directing attention to areas for growth.

Consider the advantages and disadvantages of each. Refer to handout.

Self-knowledge is the basis for growth and transformation, and key to inner freedom.
Read Romans 12:2

THE FREEDOM OF INDIFFERENCE

In order to discern effectively, we need to be rooted and grounded in a lively personal relationship with God. And in light of our love for God, we need to have freedom from excessive attachments (idols, egotism, personal agendas) and disordered affections (fears, compulsions, neuroses).

The value of the freedom of indifference… to do what is in accord with God’s will. This is not apathy, or lukewarm neutrality, but rather, deep inner freedom. This freedom of indifference must be rooted and grounded in our love for God and our desire the give God glory in all things. Indifference is rooted in deep awareness.

Stay tuned...

The True Vine

2009-05-09T17:31:00.002+10:00

Jn 15:1-8

Jesus said to his disciples:
"I am the true vine, and my Father is the vine grower.
He takes away every branch in me that does not bear fruit,
and every one that does he prunes so that it bears more fruit.
You are already pruned because of the word that I spoke to you.
Remain in me, as I remain in you.
Just as a branch cannot bear fruit on its own
unless it remains on the vine,
so neither can you unless you remain in me.
I am the vine, you are the branches.
Whoever remains in me and I in him will bear much fruit,
because without me you can do nothing.
Anyone who does not remain in me
will be thrown out like a branch and wither;
people will gather them and throw them into a fire
and they will be burned.
If you remain in me and my words remain in you,
ask for whatever you want and it will be done for you.
By this is my Father glorified,
that you bear much fruit and become my disciples."

Reflecting on the Gospel reading for this Sunday, I cannot help but think back to my retreat last month, situated in the lovely harvest time vineyards of the Jesuit winery at Sevenhill. We just happened to be there in the weeks that the grapes were being harvested for processing... mostly by big and impressively effective machines. It isn't quite the image I had in mind of the Vinedresser depicted in the Gospel, who carefully prunes each vine of dead branches and picks the ripe grapes for the winepress.

For me, the most important grace of the retreat was very much about surrendering the illusion of self-sufficiency. This rich and multidimensional image that Jesus uses in the today's Gospel helps summarize that grace rather beautifully. He is the vine. I am a branch. And together, only together, can we bear fruit. No longer need I labor under the assumption that I am doing everything, let alone anything, under my own power. The Lord desires nothing more than to live in me and in you, and to love and labor through us in the world for the sake of the kingdom. The sap that flows from the vine out through the branches into the fruit is the life giving, love energy of the Spirit, and the way the Spirit is manifest in the world is in the fruit of our lives... the quality of presence we bring to our relationships, the gestures and expressions of affection, the tough and sometimes terrifying acts of love.

And then there is the pruning. A man I was spiritual director for was dealing with prostate cancer, and I was curious how he was able to keep such a positive outlook, let alone how he could devote so much time and energy to helping others who were in the same boat. He told me that he had led a very good life, and even though he was young-- in his early fifties, he trusted that through this cancer, that the Lord was pruning him for greater things. I will never forget the look of trust on his face as he told me this. "I am being pruned for greater things."

Just some more photos from Sevenhill

2009-05-07T17:57:00.001+10:00

Thursday, May 7

2009-05-07T15:36:00.002+10:00

A full day of one to one meetings with people making this retreat in daily life, and while this has been a real joy for me to be present to people in their growing and stretching in relationship with God, the day began with some very sad news. A young couple whose wedding I did a few years ago was expecting their second child. In fact, my friend was due to give birth next week. Sadly, in a check up, the doctors discovered that the baby's heart was not beating, and then found that the umbilical cord was in a knot.

It is hard to reconcile how it is that on one hand, some people are given a lifetime for learning, growing, and realizing their potential--with all the circumstances seemingly in favor of their thriving, and then others do not even get the chance to begin their journey, or face circumstances so challenging that it would seem nearly impossible that they could surmount these obstacles and flourish. I suppose this is one was of framing the age old question/mystery of the theodicy, the difficulty of reconciling a "good" and omnipotent God with the reality of suffering in the world.

Naturally, we try to understand our experiences by asking "why?" yet, no answer comes, or the responses we get from others fail to satisfy us if even we can tolerate the sometimes inane things people say in their desire to console us.

In the face of such experiences, I find that words generally fail, and that in some way, it may actually be better to imitate God's silence... a silence that is not of absence, but rather of full hearted and loving presence-- the kind of presence that reassures, consoles, and enfolds us like a firm embrace. Of course, there may be an act of faith involved here-- to hold steady in one's belief in God's goodness despite the painful reality that one is experiencing at the moment. Yes, this is faith indeed.

Wednesday, May 6th

2009-05-06T23:19:00.002+10:00

Not much to tell... I saw one person for direction, though this is my day off this week. I took an hour's walk early this morning and another one later in the day, had a nap after lunch, and watched two dvd's (one was Flags of Our Fathers... heavy!). I cooked an omelet (that can't be how you spell it, is it? I want to add another t & an e) for the four of us for dinner tonight... nice to get back into the kitchen.

I think I must be getting older, but quiet days like today suit me just fine of late. I don't know about you, but for most of my life I've felt a certain amount of compulsion about staying busy, being productive, doing things that I judged "meaningful." Strangely enough, I feel a kind of liberation going on lately in just being able to relax, breathe, and be. Weird, huh?

While all that pressure to perform and produce was largely from within myself, it is "in the air" in our culture, and difficult to escape. I've begun asking myself, what is all this striving about? The push for "progress," the ambition to have more than we do, the orientation toward the future rather than the present moment... I'm becoming a little suspicious of it all, because when it comes right down to it, all of this seems like a distraction from paying attention to the abundance we have right here, right now. When we take a moment to breathe and become present to ourselves, we might discover this abundance in the Simplicity of Being... just being awake, aware, alive.

Again, of course I remember that I am in the tertianship bubble right now, enjoying Oz and this hiatus between assignments, and there is space for me to feel these things. But I honestly hope that it is possible to feel this simple, joyful abundance in the midst of the daily grind. Can anyone verify for me that it is?

Tuesday, May 5th

2009-05-05T20:51:00.002+10:00

This was the second full day of meeting with retreatants... six in one day! It might not seem like much, but six hours of careful listening is actually pretty demanding. At the same time, it is just amazing to be present and witness to the unfolding of a human life as people tell their stories. It brings home to me that sense that every person's life is a mysterious unfolding, marked by losses and gains, joys and sorrows, mundane routines and profound longings and aspirations. It is also a lesson to me never to judge on first appearances, because the moment you think you've assessed who a person is, you've sold them short of all the ways they can surprise you, maybe even teach you something new.

Obviously I can't discuss things that people share with me in the context of spiritual direction, so I find that I carry people's stories with me as sort of a sacred trust, and I can't help but feel both humbled and enriched by the vulnerability that people manifest process. Sometimes, folks express a bit of discomfort when strong emotions come up, especially tears. But I cannot help thinking that if we were all a bit more free and vulnerable, the world would be a much more peaceful and compassionate place. Doesn't it seem a little crazy that most of us go through our day wearing our "game face," without giving our hearts the freedom to express feelings, regrets, gratitude, etc. For whatever reason, we allow the people and the environments around us to determine the way we show up instead of trusting the authenticity of being ourselves, (and of taking up the true authority that comes from being authentic). Again, what a revolution it is to live and work with people who have the freedom to be themselves.

Tomorrow is my day off, so after seeing just one person, I'm looking forward to "chillaxing" (a Brooklyn expression, if I'm not mistaken)-- walking , reading, seeing a movie. Cheers!

The Retreat In Daily Life

2009-05-04T21:55:00.002+10:00

Greetings from lovely Mildura, voted the friendliest and most liveable city in Australia! If you recall, this is my second time here at Sacred Heart Parish in this city of 30,000 in the state of Victoria. The first time was on the way to our retreat at Sevenhill when five of us drove the two cars 1800 km from Sydney. Once I'm back on my own computer, I'll be able to load some pictures up.

I'm here for three weeks giving a retreat with a Loreto sister, Jennifer Connor, to 25 lay people in the parish. The beauty of this retreat is that people continue with the daily routines, relationships, and obligations of their lives, but they also make time for an extra 45 minutes to an hour of prayer each day, and for two weekly meetings with a spiritual director. This makes the retreat a bit more accessible for people who can't get away and take a break, and provides them an opportunity to explore the relationship between their experience of God and their day to day lives.

I'm staying in the rectory here at Sacred Heart, a vibrant and diverse parish, with two active diocesan priests, Fr.s Tom and Matthew, and a retired priest, Fr. Frank. Any parish would be so lucky to have guys like these... real lovers of people, generous, funny, and prayerful. And I feel blessed to be living and working with them.

Aside from celebrating masses, I am seeing between five and seven people each day for what we call spiritual direction, a conversation where people share about their experiences of prayer and of life. My role is simply to facilitate their experience of relationship with God by offering texts from Scripture for their prayer, being a listener and sounding board, and by offering encouragement and support for them as they engage the challenges of the retreat. It is probably my favorite form of ministry because it involves helping and witnessing to the spiritual growth and development of regular folks in their relationships with the Divine... this growth is often manifest in the way people experience healing from old hurts, reconcilation with old "enemies", a sense of renewed purpose and commitment, insight into and liberation from unhelpful attachments, etc. Please keep us in your prayers over these next three weeks... this kind of commitment of the retreatants calls for courage, patience, generosity, and self-discipline.

More Pictures from Alice Springs and Campfire in the Heart

2009-04-30T21:45:00.002+10:00

For details, you may have to check the previous post, but this is the '76 Volkswagon "Combi"... kind of amazing, but the 8 of us fit perfectly.

Campfire in the Heart is aptly named, and this is the fire at the center of our liturgical celebration... and later, where we cooked "roo tail" and "damper" bread.

A "bush-style" liturgy.

Our group shot just before we left... great memories.

So, next stop for me is Mildura, a community of about 30,000 in Victoria, more than a 1000 km from here and situated on the Murray River. I'll be staying in Sacred Heart Parish with the two local priests, Fr.s Tom and Matthew, working in the parish but primarily accompanying parishioners in a three week retreat. I've been looking forward to this work for a while and it will be a good way of continuing to reflect on my own retreat experience from the past several weeks. Both Tom and Matt are great guys and excellent priests-- it'll be good to live and work with them.

I'm not positive that I will be able to keep the blog up, but if I do, it might be a little less eventful and more spiritually reflective. Just warning you!

Alice Springs- Campfire in the Heart

2009-04-30T21:22:00.002+10:00

During our stay in Alice Springs, our jumping off point for the trip to Uluru, Kata Tjuta, and King's Canyon, we had the good fortune of staying with Sue and David Woods at their retreat camp, a place for a less touristy experience of the Centre and Aboriginal culture. Campfire in the Heart provides a contemplative and hospitable space wherein to reflect on and relate to this extraordinary central region of Australia. We could not have been more warmly and graciously received, despite causing a breakdown of the Volkswagon bus they loaned us (a '76 edition affectionately known as the "Combi") and denting their carport on our way out for the bush tour. In fact, we all got on quite wonderfully and enjoyed each other very much.

The setting for our outdoor liturgy... the campfire in place of the Easter Paschal Candle.

You probably won't believe it, but David is cutting up a, dare I say it, Kangaroo tail that we roasted in the coals. It was, shall I say, gamey. We also were treated to "damper," bread cooked in a dutch over over the fire. Both are real treats for the Aboriginal people.

And here is a nice shot of Sue and David.

Camping out in "Swags"

2009-04-29T12:09:00.002+10:00

Cooking "chook" aka chicken and rice on the fire.

Looks like a bush fire, but is actually the sunset!

Yes, a rainbow in the desert!
The "swag" is a canvas bag with a mattress and pillow in it... the Aussie way of roughing it. The sleepless nights were worth the experience of being under the brilliant stars... brighter and more distinct than anyplace I've ever been, except maybe Bolivia. Besides the Southern Cross, the Milky Way was unfurled above us all night, and we woke each morning to Venus, Mars, and Jupiter in a triangle, sometimes accompanied by a sliver of moon. Fabulous!

King's Canyon

2009-04-29T11:13:00.002+10:00

These are some scenes from our morning hike through King's Canyon... formed over 800 million years ago when an inland sea existed here where there is now desert.

Those hats!

Pausing for a break in the "garden of Eden."

David "on the rocks"

More Pictures from Our Adventure in "The Centre"

2009-04-29T10:54:00.002+10:00

Uluru in the afternoon...

Looks like Martian soil, right?

The canyons of Kata Tjuta...

Our 4WD bus with Kata Tjuta in the background.

Alice Springs and Uluru (Ayer's Rock)

2009-04-28T20:43:00.002+10:00

Drat! I have to remind myself to load these pictures in reverse order, because I did it again! Then again, Jesus said something like the last shall be first, and the first shall be last, right? Maybe the Blogger folks had that in mind when then wrote this software?

Anyways... after the retreat ended in Sevenhill, the lot of us headed down to Adelaide for two days, and then eight of us flew to Alice Springs in the Northern Territory of Central Australia. Alice Springs is the jumping off point for visitors to the most iconic place in Australia, after the Sydney Opera House. Formerly called Ayer's Rock after a fairly obscure and less than consequential politician, Uluru is a massive sandstone monolith that rises out of the desert. It is considered a sacred site, along with the neighboring Kata Tjuta (Olgas) mountains where the local Aboriginal tribes celebrated ritual ceremonies and conducted their initiation rites for both men and women. For more information about this fascinating World Heritage Site, you might check out the Wiki at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ayer%27s_Rock

We arrived in Alice and spent our first night at a wonderful campsite/retreat just outside of town. David and Sue Woods founded the Campfire in the Heart as a place for visitors to have a less conventional and more culturally sensitive experience of this amazing region. More about David and Sue and their lovely center in the next blog... including our some of our minor misadventures and the way these led to rather wonderful spontaneous fun!

On the second day, we began at 5:45 am as Chris, our guide from Wayoutback tours picked us up in a 4WD bus. We joined a very congenial family from Singapore making it a group of 15. The first stop was a camel farm where a few of us took the opportunity for an early morning ride. Believe it our not, camels from Afghanistan were introduced to the Australian outback during the 19th century because they were much better adapted to the terrain than horses. Today, thousands of wild camels roam the outback-- in fact, we had one browsing through our camp the second night. As it bent down to sniff the father of the family from Singapore, apparently at first he mistook the camel's warm breath for his wife's (yikes!). I got that story second hand, so I cannot guarantee its veracity. In any case, the bottom picture captures a bit of the fun I had riding the camel.

This next picture is of Uluru just before sunrise on the second morning of our bushwalk... splendid even in the rain. There is a whole story about being at Uluru at night during a thunderstorm, experiencing the effect of thousands of gallons of rain streaming down the rock, cascading in windy warm sheets, illuminated intermittently by lightning. But as is often the case, the most memorable and fantastic experiences are the ones that could not be captured in photographs. So, this is a picture of the day after that storm, just five minutes before the sunrise.
The first picture in this series is Uluru at sunrise, with water droplets on my lens. A nice effect. There was a rainbow at the same time, so you can imagine that this was one sunrise worth waking at 4:30 am.

Not much to say here except that it seems that we have an interesting variety of headgear!

And the camel... look at those chompers!

I have enough pictures of those first few days that I might just post a few rounds of pictures and let them speak for themselves.

Moving Beyond the Long Retreat

2009-04-27T15:03:00.002+10:00

Greetings all,

This isn't quite the order of photos I wanted but I haven't figured out how to shift them. In any case, they might better be understood in reverse. This one above is a stained glass of the resurrection from the Cathedral in Adelaide; the next is of a cow and the calf she gave birth to in the third week of the retreat; the two pictures that follow are "before and after" shots of our group.

Several people have asked about the experience of the Long Retreat... for instance asking, "did it fulfill your expectations?" or "how did you manage the silence?" Some people have asked whether or not I feel changed by the experience. As you know, there are simply some events and experiences in our lives that have such a surplus of meaning and personal significance that it takes years really to understand them, let alone adequately express what they mean to us. The Long Retreat is like that. The 13 of us making the retreat each followed the general format that St. Ignatius outlines for the form and substance of the four weeks (focusing on the lights and shadows of our response to God's love, the life and ministry of Jesus, his final days and death in Jerusalem, and his resurrection); however, each of us also had a very distinct experience of what God's Spirit was doing in and through us.

I can only speak for myself here, but I found that the retreat brought up all kinds of old lines and patterns that I've been working on with God over the years, and then revealed in a rather deep and surprisingly integrated way how these lines and patterns connect. More specifically, I've struggled over the years, as perhaps many of us have, with my relationships to material possessions (excessive desire for security and comfort), with my need for the recognition and esteem of others (sometimes this can be so tedious for others in my life), and with my attraction to power and influence (I'm not quite a megalomaniac, but the potential is there)-- the basics, right? And beyond those things, (which are all good in their own right, but dangerous when they become attachments or idols), I have struggled with selfishness,vanity, anxiety around success and failure, resistance to authorities, fear of looking foolish or incompetent, etc. (I'm just hitting the highlights here.)

But on this retreat, God revealed something that is somehow at the heart of all this, and that is that I have an illusion of self-sufficiency-- of thinking that I know better than anyone else how to take care of myself... and then that somehow I have enough ability not only to take care of myself but of everyone else as well. This has made it difficult at times for me to accept being taught, led, and loved by others. This list is long, and it included God. Somehow, I have lived with this blind spot for a very long time, and gotten along fairly well in fact. But in discovering my limitations and powerlessness to work my way through a few challenges that came up on the retreat, the illusion began to fall apart. The beauty of it was that as my illusion of self-sufficiency was crumbling away, I began discovering a new level of faith in God's love. In fact, the image I had was of being held fast in God's "right hand" so to speak... of discovering just how finite I am and how this is exactly what God's needs in order to work through me.

I wish that I could express this more clearly, and in fact, it sounds trite when I re-read what I have written, but I hope that this makes some sense and that it might even resonate with your own experience. You may even be saying to yourself, "duh!" Of course you're finite and God is infinite! The fact is, some of us are very slow learners, and having a lot of education, training, and experience can actually get in the way. So, moving on to the next picture...

This calf was born on the retreat house property during the third week of our retreat. A cute little feller with a doting mom. A little wobbly, but what would you expect. But as I watched the mom taking care of and nursing this calf, I couldn't help but make the link with the retreat. If there is anything that Jesus wanted to make clear to us, it is that God longs to be in relationship with us as a loving mother or father is with her/his children. And while the notion of dependency may grate against us, I do not think that the relationship is so simple as a baby depending on her/his mother. The truth is that God delights in our maturity and in the development of all of the gifts we have been given... and that a degree of self-authorship is essential. But I never had such a powerful sense of how it grieves God when we live as if we can do it all by ourselves. Rather, I felt God calling me into an "interdependent" partnership, where we have a mutual relationship and mission in the world. Does this make sense? I know it may be simple sounding, but I know from experience that living this way takes day to day practice.

But enough of my blather... the bottom picture is our "before" shot and the one just below is the end of the retreat. In the blogs to follow, I will share pictures and stories from the bushwalking adventures that we had in Central Australia.

Retreat Opportunity Next Fall In Boulder Colorado

2009-04-18T17:30:00.002+10:00

Hi all,

I've been asked by folks at Boulder Integral to post an ad for the retreat I will be giving next October with Fr. Richard Rohr, OFM and two other friends, Sr. Terri Monroe, RSCJ and Rollie Stanich from Integral Christianity. It will be an opportunity for participants to learn a bit about the connections between Integral Philosophy and the emerging Christianity, exploring the relationship between the gifts of the Christian tradition we receive and the new insights related to both evolution and the development of human consciousness. Sounds heavy, right? Actually, it will be a nice blend of seminar and retreat and situated in a gorgeous setting in Boulder, right around the time the aspens are turning gold. Richard is an internationally known writer and speaker, grounded in Scripture and at the same time, interested in the directions that the Church may moving into the future. For my part, I am interested in the connections between our human capacity for the evolution of consciousness and the experience of spiritual growth in relationship to God. We've been talking about doing something like this for a few years and this is our first opportunity for collaboration.

If you're interested in a unique and somewhat challenging retreat, and mixing it up with other people who are both Christian and seeking to grow in an authentic and spiritually grounded way, as well as with those who may be outside of the tradition and looking to reconnect, then this gathering may be for you. Be forewarned, it won't be like anything you're accustomed to in the way of retreat!

http://www.boulderintegral.org/2008/12/new-wineskins-a-contemporary-pilgrimage-toward-the-future-of-christianity-with-fr-richard-rohr/

Some Closing Shots of Sevenhill Winery, St. Aloyisius Church and College and Environs

2009-04-16T20:21:00.002+10:00

Celebrating Christ's Resurrection

2009-04-14T21:11:00.002+10:00

Sunday night, Jesuits from Adelaide joined us here at Sevenhill for a wonderful feast (a break day from retreat!). Here, Arthur Leger and I are with Minh Uoc Pham, a Jesuit originally from Vietnam and now working in Manila. The three of us lived in Cambridge, MA during our theology studies and I haven't seen Minh Uoc since then.

This picture is from the Easter Vigil, the night before. (I am trying not to make a face as I spill hot wax all over my hand.)

On Easter morning, several of us got up to see the sunrise. Pictured here: Bruno (Switzerland), Ian (the Director here at Sevenhill) and me.

Sunrise... a wonderful natural reminder of the renewal of life at Easter.

A friend sent this meditation on our own process of becoming human through our relationship with the Divine. It is taken from Rilke's Letters to a Young Poet. I thought it was a beautiful and deep reflection on the desire the Risen Christ has to "Easter" in our hearts, like Spring becoming manifest in and through the nature around us.

"Why do you not think of him as the coming one imminent from all eternity, the future one, the final fruit of a tree whose leaves we are? What keeps you from projecting his birth into times that are in the process of becoming, and living your life like a painful and beautiful day in the history of a great gestation? For do you not see how everything that happens keeps on being a beginning, and could it not be His beginning, since beginning is in itself always so beautiful? If he is the most perfect must not the lesser be BEFORE him, so that he can choose himself out of the fullness and overflow?---Must he not be the last, in order to encompass everything within himself, and what meaning would we have if he, whom we long for, had already been?

As the bees bring in the honey, so do we fetch the sweetest out of everything and build Him. With the trivial even, with the insignificant (if only it is done out of love), we make a start, with work and with resting after it, with a silence or with a little solitary joy, with everything we do alone, without supporters and participants, we begin Him whom we shall not live to know, even as our forbears could not live to know us. And yet they, who are long home, are in us; as predisposition, as burden upon our destiny, as blood that pulsates, and as gesture that rises up out of the depths of time.

Is there anything that can take from you the hope of this someday being in him, the farthest, the ultimate?

Celebrate [Easter] in this devout feeling, that perhaps He needs this very fear of life from you in order to begin; these very days of your transition are perhaps the time when everything in you is working at him, as you have already once, in childhood, breathlessly worked at him. Be patient and without resentment, and think that the least we can do is to make his becoming not more difficult for him than the earth makes it for the spring when it wants to come. And be glad and confident."

Rainer Maria Rilke
Letters to a Young Poet

Good Friday and the Easter Triduum

2009-04-10T20:11:00.002+10:00

Greetings and peace! This is the first post since retreat began several weeks ago, a brief foray from out of the cybersilence while I am on retreat. Several of the tertians were invited to serve the local church communities for the Easter Triduum. I volunteered to take anything that was left over after everyone had their first pick (trying to put my own will aside a bit more based on my retreat!) and ended up being asked to preach for today's Good Friday celebration here at St. Aloyisius Church here in Sevenhill. This is more or less what I said... please feel free to use it insofar as it is helpful for your own Easter reflections.

Jesus- The Crucified One

The Scriptures present many images of Jesus for us to relate to, many of them especially familiar to folks living in the country, as we are here in the beautiful Clare Valley. Living with drought as you are, and knowing the preciousness of water for your crops and livestock, maybe you recall the image of Jesus as the Living Water. (I noticed a young man wearing a Guinness t-shirt advertising the perfect pint, so suggested that this is not the kind of thirst I was talking about) I am talking about the thirst we have for meaningful lives, for a sense of being valued, of belonging, for refreshment when we are wearied by life and feeling interiorly dry. So, we can relate to Jesus, the Living Water.

And as many of you work with livestock, or drive by these fields and pastures every day, you may be familiar with Jesus, the Good Shepherd, who knows his sheep and whose sheep know him. And we long for good shepherds, leaders of integrity and great concern for others, those who will lead us to green pastures and restful waters, and who are willing to put their lives on the line for us. We know Jesus, the Good Shepherd.

And how could we be in the Clare Valley, this lovely winegrowing region of South Australia, without remembering Jesus, the True Vine. Jesus, the True Vine and we the branches, bearing good fruit in the world through our lives of compassion, justice, and reconciliation... lives occasionally pruned for the sake of our bearing even greater fruit.

We can relate to these images of Jesus, but how do we relate to the image of Jesus lifted up for our attention today, Jesus- the Crucified One?

When we pause to think of it, we might ask ourselves how it ever came to this anyway? How could the life of the one we love, the one we call Lord and Savior, have ended this way, in a death more horrible than we could imagine. We wouldn't dare treat an animal the way he was treated this day.

This is Jesus, born in Bethlehem, son of Mary and Joseph, the Carpenter from Nazareth... he was the one who taught in a new way and whom crowds of thousands followed in anticipation that he was the Messiah. He healed sick people, cured the lepers, gave sight back to the blind. He brought promise and hope, and we believed he would be the one to set us free from the political occupation by the Romans. This is Jesus, the friend of Martha, Mary, and Lazarus, the Master of Simon Peter, James, and John.

If before the Cross we find ourselves confused, disoriented, ashamed and sorrowful, then we are on good ground. Because signs of contradiction are confusing. The Cross is a paradox, a coincidence of contradictions and the collision of opposing forces. Such a paradox is bound to disorient us as we wrestle to make meaning of it, and only through grace does it gradually disclose its truth to us.

The two forces that collide in the Cross? First, there is the Force of Life... God's saving initiative to innaugurate a new covenant of friendship with humanity through Christ. In Jesus, God self-communicates that the Divine Nature is love, and that God desires us to receive that love in order bring us into the Fullness of Life, one and all. This is the nature of the Kingdom that Jesus lived and died for.

But if one of the forces is Life, the other force opposing it is characterized by resistance, rejection, and Death. This is the force we experience when we cling to our false images of ourselves-- that we are somehow greater or less than we truly are, that we can live self-sufficiently, that we come first... it is to cling to relative goods as if they were absolutes, so that we cling to power at the expense of the weak, and of our own vulnerability; so that we cling to possesions for the false sense of security and prestige that they afford us at the expense of the poor and our dependence on God; and we cling to popularity in the eyes of others, often at the expense of our own integrity and exclusive of those who do not meet our standards.

These two forces collide on the Cross as Jesus, the Beloved of God, and the Fullness of Life he offers is rejected.

But in this collision of contradictions, the Good News is that the Father is faithful to the last to his beloved, who was obedient to the death. God loves us despite our best attempts to push God away, and continues saying from the Cross, "I love you. I have always loved you. I will always love you."

In a few moments, we will have an opportunity to venerate the Cross, this most full expression of Divine Love. Perhaps as we place flowers at the foot of the cross and kiss the foot of Jesus, or kneel before him, we might consider, what part of ourselves do we need Jesus to bear on that Cross. What part of ourselves, like the grain of wheat, must be allowed to die in order that God might bring about a more full and abundant life in us?

Perhaps it is a story we tell ourselves about who we are in relation to others that gets in the way of our realizing our God given gifts. Maybe we hold an old enmity that we need to surrender. Maybe we feel cynical about the future and do not give God room to suprise us. Maybe we have convinced ourselves that we are self-sufficient, thank you very much, and don't need God to come tampering with us. Whatever we might be clinging to might be beautiful and good in its own right, like these flowers, but it is not the ultimate good that the Giver of Life is.

And so, as we surrender this part of ourselves to death with Christ, we can be confidant that we will rise with him renewed this Easter...

much love,
David

Leaving for the Long Retreat...

2009-03-12T20:01:00.003+11:00

Tomorrow morning, five of us will depart from Pymble to begin a three day drive across southern Australia to Seven Hill retreat house in the wine country near Clare. We'll begin by heading south into the famous Blue Mountains, where we're planning a six mile hike to take in the scenery. Then we head on to West Wyalong, where we will spend our first night in a parish there, and continue on the second day to Mildura. In Mildura, we'll stay at the parish where I'll eventually be giving retreats, and help out the local pastors by taking five of their Saturday and Sunday masses. We will arrive, if all goes according to plans, around dinner time on Sunday at the retreat house. The other 9 will all be flying on Sunday...

Many people ask, "what do you want to get out of your thirty days of silence?" Great question... actually, it's so helpful to begin by getting in touch with our hopes and expectations as we start retreat. More than anything else, I want to follow God's lead and not get in the way of what God wants to do with me. For my friends who are not believers, I would say this means that I want to be fully present, to the extent that I am able, to reality as it is- unvarnished and unadorned, rugged, beautiful, bare, complex, and simple. I want to be open to seeing parts of myself that I tend to keep in the shadows and to allowing them to be part of the whole of me. And I want to grow in awareness of the abundance that is nature, the gift of being alive and awake. For those reading this who are Christian, or respect Jesus as a teacher of wisdom and of compassion, I want to know him, love him, and follow him to the full extent of the potential that lies within me. And I pray that I might grow in freedom from myself that I might be more available to others.

Kierkegaard, the 19th century Danish philosopher, wrote quite profoundly of this invitation to realize our full potentiality:

It is very dangerous to go into eternity with possibilities which one has
oneself prevented from becoming realities. A possibility is a hint from
God. One must follow it. In every one there is latent the highest
possibility, one must follow it. If God does not wish it then let God
prevent it, but one must not hinder oneself...

And so I pray to stay out of my own way, and ask God that my ego might take a back seat to whatever the Spirit wills. Of course, it is pretty vain to be writing such lofty intentions and publishing them to the world, isn't it... clearly, I have my work cut out for me! So please pray for me, as well as for Dan, Gilbert, Johann, Charles, Peter, Joseph, Arthur, Lawrence, Bruno, Bill, and Simon, as well as our directors, Adrian, Joe, and Peter.

This is the last blog for the next five weeks or so, but in the meanwhile, if by chance you are looking for resources for your Lenten journey and prayer life, please check out "Pray as you go," a media service developed by the British Jesuit province: http://www.jesuit.org.uk/jmi/pray-as-you-go.htm

Peace and all good things to you the rest of this Lent and Easter!

The Magic Flute

2009-03-11T12:58:00.002+11:00

Last night, thirteen of us were able to enjoy the second last night of Mozart's Magic Flute at the Sydney Opera House... a magical evening by all accounts. Thanks to Eszter Donald, the principle cellist and a friend, we had second row tickets and could see right into the orchestra. It was a beautiful evening, with a nearly full moon above.

The themes of the Magic Flute turned out to be good ones for our upcoming retreat, especially the importance of silence! Just two more days to go before we head west to Seven Hill.

The Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius of Loyola and Seven Hill Winery

2009-03-09T22:27:00.002+11:00

To the left, St. Ignatius Loyola, the founder of the Jesuits is pictured writing down notes for the Spiritual Exercises. What are the Exercises, you may be wondering? Well, I think the best analogy might be Ignatius' own. He described how any athlete who desires to reach the pinnacle of performance will adopt a disciplined regimen of training, including careful diet, stretching, a sensible but challenging routine of exercises and drills, along with excellent coaching... so to for a person who desires to grow in their life as a follower of Jesus. Based on his own experience of conversion, enlightenment, and maturation, Ignatius developed a handbook of transformative Christian spirituality that enables people to shed their false selves and discover their truest self in relationship to the Divine Source of all things.

Essentially, the purpose of the Exercises is to help free a person of "inordinate attachments", "disordered affections" (in other words, attachments, addictions, neurotic fears, etc) and from anything that turns us away from God, our true selves and our neighbors... so that a person is free for lifegiving service to others, intimacy, creativity, and co-laboration with God on behalf of the Kingdom. Does this really happen? Well, the testimony of hundreds of thousands of people over 450 years suggests that it does... that spending time in silence, reflecting on one's life, meditating on the Scriptures, and listening to the movements of one's heart really does lead to a transformation. Or perhaps better said, the Spiritual Exercises can facilitate our becoming more fully ourselves through relationship with God and the service of our brothers and sisters.

While there are a variety of formats available, the most intense version of the Exercises is the 30 day silent retreat. In this retreat, there are four themes that are engaged over the course of about a week each: the first week is an exploration of our limits and shadows in the light of God's infinite love for us; the second is the accompaniment of Jesus through his public ministry through meditation on the Gospels; the third is union with Jesus on his way to Jerusalem and his crucifixtion; and the fourth is contemplation on Christ's joy in the resurrection events. While there's so much more that could be said, that's enough to give you a taste.

Jesuits usually make the Spiritual Exercises two or three times in their lives, first in the Novitiate, or first phase of formation, then again in tertianship (the phase I am in), and then sometimes at another juncture in their lives. Now, I have the good fortune that the retreat here in Australia happens at Seven Hill, one of the original Jesuit missions here downunder... and it just happens to be a winery! So, the picture of the grape vineyard isn't just for show... it's actually part of the property where I will be making retreat for the next month. Of course, wine isn't so helpful for staying awake in the course of five hours of meditation each day, but at least it will be nice to have a glass with dinner! While their specialty is altar wine, which is fortified and a bit sweet, they also produce a delicious riesling and a decent shiraz.

Seven Hill is 1400 km away, so five of us will be driving the cars across New South Wales and Victoria to Clare, where the retreat house is located.
(for more information: http://www.cis.jesuit.org.au/sevenhill.html )

Continuing the Lenten Journey: Growing in Integrity

2009-03-07T21:34:00.004+11:00

As this first week of Lent comes to an end, and we are preparing to head into our month long silent retreat, I find myself dwelling on the question of integrity... what is it, and how do we grow in it? This question is prompted by readings from mass this past week, for instance from the prophet Ezekiel 18, where God praises the person who mends their ways and returns to a path of integrity, from the Gospel of Matthew chapter 5, where he instructs his followers to be more righteous than the religious leaders of his day, and then later in this chapter, where Jesus tells them that they must be perfect as God is perfect.

Now, lest we get hung up on words, I know that the word "righteousness" has come to have a certain negative connotation, suggesting "self-righteousness"; however, in the Greek, the word for righteousness is dikaiosune, which means:

in a broad sense: state of him who is as he ought to be, righteousness, the condition acceptable to God

the doctrine concerning the way in which man may attain a state approved of God
integrity, virtue, purity of life, rightness, correctness of thinking feeling, and acting

in a narrower sense, justice or the virtue which gives each his due (New Testament Greek Lexicon)

So, righteousness on one hand suggests "right thinking, right feeling, and right acting." Another way of thinking about righteousness is that it is about living in "right relationship" to everything: God, our neighbor, our selves, and all created things. Right relationship suggests that we are not thinking, feeling, and acting on the basis of psychological or neurotic compulsions, or of attachments, or addictions. Rather, our relationship with everyone and everything is characterized by a certain freedom for love, for service of others, for creativity, for the enjoyment of simple things without wanting more than we need, etc. Perhaps even more profoundly, righteousness is to feel as Christ feels, to think as Christ thinks, to act as Christ acts.

Righteousness also suggests integrity, or wholeness... a sense of being whole, healthy, sound.
If this still feels a bit abstract, we might think for a moment about times when we don't feel like we are whole, or integrated... when we have experiences of feeling fragmented (due to anxiety, or being overextended), or dishonest, or self alienated. During these times, we know that something is missing, and that we'd prefer to feel differently. I recall, for example, the experience of being caught in a lie as a kid... how awful this felt inside. In such times, if our conscience is working, we feel a bit guilty, maybe even ashamed when we are not living with integrity. Hopefully, these distressing feelings prompt us to change, to be honest, for instance, or to stand for what we believe in, or to embrace those parts of ourselves that cry out for integration. (The great danger is when we shut down our moral instinct and close off those feelings, losing any motivation to change.)

Integrity seems to have something to with wholeness more than perfection, and with a kind of harmony with Life more than a simple consistency between word and action. When we are thinking, feeling, and acting in harmony with Life (the will of God), we know it because we feel like we are in the Flow of something bigger than ourselves. We may experience what St. Ignatius called consolacion, which he described as a kind of energy, one which increased his sense of faith, hope, and love.

In the book of Ecclesiastes, the author reports how human beings are born naked, and die naked, and cannot take with them any fruit of labor that they can hold in their hands. By this, I interpret the author to be saying that the purpose of human life is not accomplishment (I get stuck on this one), not the acquisition of wealth, nor the building of prestige in the eyes of others. The purpose of human life, and the only thing that we will take with us beyond this life, is something less tangible, yet more precious than all these.

If I am not mistaken, the readings I mention earlier point toward this precious and intangible purpose... that of living in harmony with Life, and of being whole. In this state, we come to the realization that integrity is really a kind of love... for God, for one's own self, and for our neighbors as (if they) are ourselves.

A Quick Friday Night Posting of the C's

2009-03-06T23:52:00.003+11:00

It's been a long week slogging through hundreds of pages of the Constitutions of the Society of Jesus, a foundational document for us as Jesuits-- but not always the most attention grabbing subject. Just two more days of study and presentations to go next week, and then it's on to preparing for our trip 1400 kilometers away to Sevenhill, the original mission of the Austrian Jesuits who founded the Australia mission back in the 19th Century. I'll write a bit more about that before we go, but the purpose of this road trip (5 of the 12 of us are making the trip by car) is to make the Spiritual Exercises at Sevenhill.

A few folks have written to express their delight in these Aussie slang expressions, so the list continues (though I can't imagine why "Crikey!" is not included... and I have left out a few expressions that seemed a bit too colorful for the kids):

Cab Sav : Cabernet Sauvignon (a variety of wine grape)
Cactus : dead, not functioning ("this bloody washing machine is cactus")
Cane toad : a person from Queensland
Captain Cook : look (noun) ("let's have a Captain Cook")
Cark it : to die, cease functioning
Cat burying shit, as busy as a : busy
Cat's piss, as mean as : mean, stingy, uncharitable
Chewie : chewing gum
Chokkie : chocolate
Chook : a chicken
Chrissie : Christmas
Christmas : see Bourke Street
Chuck a sickie : take the day off sick from work when you're perfectly healthy
Chunder : vomit
Clayton's : fake, substitute
Cleanskin : Bottle of wine without a label. Usually bought in bulk by companies who then add their own personalised label and use the wine as e.g. gifts to clients
Cleanskin : cattle that have not been branded, earmarked or castrated.
Click : kilometre - "it's 10 clicks away"
Clucky : feeling broody or maternal
Coathanger : Sydney Harbour bridge
Cobber : friend
Cockie : farmer (Farmers were called cockies in the early days of European settlement because, like the birds of the same name, they made their homes on the edges of permanent waterholes)
Cockie : cockatoo
Cockie : cockroach
Cockroach : a person from New South Wales
Coldie : a beer
Come a gutser : make a bad mistake, have an accident
Compo : Workers' Compensation pay
Conch (adj. conchy) : a conscientious person. Somebody who would rather work or study than go out and enjoy him/herself.
Cooee, not within : figuratively a long way away, far off - England weren't within cooee of beating Australia at cricket
Cooee, within : nearby - I was within cooee of landing a big fish when the line broke. He lives within cooee of Sydney.
Cook (noun) : One's wife
Corker : something excellent. A good stroke in cricket might be described as a 'corker of a shot'
Corroboree : an aboriginal dance festival
Counter lunch/Countery : pub lunch
Cozzie : swimming costume
Crack onto (someone) : to hit on someone, pursue someone romantically
Cranky : in a bad mood, angry
Cream (verb) : defeat by a large margin
Crook : sick, or badly made
Crow eater : a person from South Australia
Cubby house : Small, usually timber, house in the garden used as a children's plaything.
Cut lunch : sandwiches

St. Ignatius Riverview

2009-03-05T23:24:00.002+11:00

This has been a busy week with social engagements as our tertian class has enjoyed the hospitality of several welcoming Jesuit communities. On Monday, St. Aloysius College (secondary school), on Wednesday, St. Mary's Parish, and tonight, St. Ignatius Riverview. Suffice to say, it's a good thing the long retreat is coming up and we'll be on a bit more of an austere regime.

The view from the roof of the Main hall... Sydney in the distance.

A gorgeous school... details below.

Since its foundation in 1880 St Ignatius' College, Riverview has been under the care of the Society of Jesus (Jesuits).

While the founder of the school in the real sense was Father Joseph Dalton SJ, the school does have two other founders. The first one was Archbishop Roger Bede Vaughan who invited the Jesuits to Sydney on condition that they found a boys' boarding school and the second one was Father J J Therry, who, on his death in 1864 left the greater part of his property to the Society of Jesus.

Archbishop Vaughan's gift of a large sum of money out of the sale of Lyndhurst, the old Benedictine College at Glebe, and the Jesuits sale of one of Father Therry's properties, Josephton, at what is now Avalon, provided much of the finance needed for establishing St Ignatius' College.

After Archbishop Vaughan asked the Jesuits to open a day school in Sydney (St Kilda House, later to become St Aloysius' College) and a boarding college on the North Shore, Father Joseph Dalton purchased the Riverview Estate on behalf of the Society of Jesus.

George Whitfield (a Sydney gunsmith) was the original owner of the Riverview Estate having purchased the property in 1842. He built a two storey stone retreat which he named Ormeau View, after the Ormeau district in his native Belfast. Whitfield met a violent death at the hands of a fellow gunsmith in 1864 and in the following year Ormeau View was put up for sale. Advertisements dwelt upon the scenic location of the property, its view of Sydney Harbour in the distance, its orchard of about four acres, enclosed with a wall, and a fine open piece of land, containing about 3 acres known as the 'Pigeon Ground'. The purchaser was Manuel Francis Josephson, who renamed the estate, Riverview.

When the Riverview Estate was put up for sale, Father Joseph Dalton concluded arrangements for its purchase on 28 June 1878. Eighteen months later Father Dalton was appointed foundation Rector of St Ignatius' College.
An advertisement was placed in the Catholic newspaper; The Express stating that boys aged between 8 and 12 would be received at Riverview 'as soon as possible after the Christmas holidays'. Classes commenced in the cottage in February 1880.

The cottage soon became very cramped as more boys arrived and in order to provide better accommodation St Michael's House was built. The building, designed by W W Wardell and opened on the feast of Saint Michael, 29 September 1880. Further building took place at the College in 1882 with the construction of a wooden boatshed and in 1883 the infirmary was built.

In its early years the College offered 'Classical and Modern Languages, History, Mathematics, the Natural Sciences and all other branches required for the Civil Service, the Junior, Senior and Matriculation Examinations.' It was advertised that the curriculum included a modern side - mercantile subjects.

By December 1882, with an enrolment of only 70 students, the College extended the curriculum to include English Composition, Writing, Music, Singing, Drawing, Painting, Irish History and Oral Latin.

Lessons were taught six days a week. The day began at 6.15 am, with prayers, Mass and study before breakfast at 8.30 am and concluded with night prayers at 8.30pm. On Sundays and holidays the boys were allowed to sleep in until 6.30am.

The main building of the College was constructed in three stages between 1885 - 1930 and the foundation stone was laid by Cardinal Moran Archbishop of Sydney on 15 December 1885. As originally designed by Gilbert, Dennihey and Tappin, of Ballarat, the building was to be a huge square, representing four identical fronts, but only the South front was completed according to plan.

Although the first dayboys were not officially admitted until 1923, there was a small group of pupils who were permitted to attend the college as dayboys. In fact, up until the 1960s dayboys remained relatively small in number and Riverview was mainly for boarders.

The Garden

2009-03-04T22:59:00.002+11:00

These two furry might look cute, and in fact, they really are. In fact, if you've got some veggie crudite to offer, neither will mind letting you scratch them between the ears; however, they've taken a liking to Fr. Desmond (Des) Purcell's roses, and now they're quickly rising to the top of the "endangered list" here on the Canisius College grounds.

A few flower shots before they're eaten...

So, you might be wondering, why the attention to the garden, to paying attention to the small things and smelling the roses, as it were. As the world goes down the economic tubes, fires are raging, and people are attacked by great white sharks (three in three weeks!), perhaps you're thinking there must be something more weighty and profound to reflect on in this blog. But somehow, taking time to smell the roses strikes me as a very sensible thing to do... one of the great temptations during these frightening and precarious times is to do something, anything, to try fixing our situation. Anxiety can provoke us to leaping before we look-- to all kinds of rash actions. I know, easy for me to say, as I spend eight months in this tertianship bubble.

But I wonder if these aren't also the times when we feel most alive, the times of crisis and opportunity that we will eventually tell stories about. Think of how experiences like the Great Depression affected our grandparents and great grand parents... formative times that often make a deep and lasting effect on who and what we become. So, is this not a time to pause, smell the flowers, be mindful about our priorities and purposes, and hold steady in our values while at the same time, adapting to circumstances as flexibly as we can?

Our Evening At St. Aloysius Gonzaga School in Milsons Point

2009-03-02T22:36:00.003+11:00

It may be hard to believe, but this is the view from the roof of a Jesuit secondary school in Milsons Point, St. Aloysius Gonzaga, a Sydney institution since 1879. Imagine their New Years Eve celebration! The Jesuit community hosted us for dinner this evening... I think they began to worry that we wouldn't leave!

A second view, this one including the Circular Quay and the Sydney Harbor Bridge... breathtaking, no?

And here are the twelve of us with the city skyline in the background. In the front row, Joseph Yao, Simon Bishop, Lawrence Grotek, and Arthur Leger. In the second row, Peter Scally, Bill Clark, Gilbert Sunghera, Johann Spermann, me, Charles Sim, Bruno Brantschen, and Dan White.

Now, more Aussie slang, moving on to the "B"s. (As I mentioned, this blog is a mix of the sacred and the mundane!)

B
B & S : Bachelors' and Spinsters' Ball - a very enjoyable party usually held in rural areas
Back of Bourke : a very long way away
Bail (somebody) up : to corner somebody physically
Bail out : depart, usually angrily
Banana bender : a person from Queensland
Barbie : barbecue (noun)
Barrack : to cheer on (football team etc.)
Bastard : term of endearment
Bathers : swimming costume
Battler : someone working hard and only just making a living
Beaut, beauty : great, fantastic
Big-note oneself : brag, boast
Bikkie : biscuit (also "it cost big bikkies" - it was expensive)
Billabong : an ox-bow river or watering hole
Billy : teapot. Container for boiling water.
Bingle : motor vehicle accident
Bities : biting insects
Bitzer : mongrel dog (bits of this and bits of that)
Bizzo : business ("mind your own bizzo")
Black Stump, beyond the : a long way away, the back of nowhere
Bloke : man, guy
Bloody : very (bloody hard yakka)
Bloody oath! : that's certainly true
Blow in the bag : have a breathalyser test
Blowie : blow fly
Bludger : lazy person, layabout, somebody who always relies on other people to do things or lend him things
Blue : fight ("he was having a blue with his wife")
Blue, make a : make a mistake
Bluey : pack, equipment, traffic ticket, redhead
Bluey : blue cattle dog (named after its subtle markings) which is an excellent working dog. Everyone's favourite all-Aussie dog.
Bluey : heavy wool or felt jacket worn by mining and construction workers.
Bluey : bluebottle jellyfish
Bodgy : of inferior quality
Bog in : commence eating, to attack food with enthusiasm

Bog standard : basic, unadorned, without accessories (a bog standard car, telephone etc.)
Bogan : person who takes little pride in his appearance, spends his days slacking and drinking beer
Bogged : Stuck in mud, deep sand (a vehicle).
Bondi cigar : see "brown-eyed mullet"
Bonzer : great, ripper
Boogie board : a hybrid, half-sized surf board
Boomer : a large male kangaroo
Booze bus : police vehicle used for catching drunk drivers
Boozer : a pub
Bored shitless : very bored
Bottle shop : liquor shop
Bottle-o : liquor shop (originally a man with hessian bags going around picking up beer bottles in the 50's and 60's)
Bottler : something excellent
Bottling, his blood's worth : he's an excellent, helpful bloke.
Bounce : a bully
Bourke Street, he doesn't know Christmas from : he's a bit slow in the head. (Bourke Street is a brightly lit Melbourne street)
Bowl of rice, not my : not my cup of tea; I don't like it
Brass razoo, he hasn't got a : he's very poor
Brekkie : breakfast
Brick shit house, built like a : big strong bloke
Brickie : bricklayer
Brisvegas : Brisbane, state capital of Queensland
Brizzie : Brisbane, state capital of Queensland
Brown-eyed mullet : a turd in the sea (where you're swimming!)
Brumby : a wild horse
Buck's night : stag party, male gathering the night before the wedding
Buckley's, Buckley's chance : no chance ("New Zealand stands Buckley's of beating Australia at football")
Budgie smugglers : men's bathing costume
Bull bar : stout bar fixed to the front of a vehicle to protect it against hitting kangaroos (also roo bar)
Bundy : short for Bundaberg, Queensland, and the brand of rum that's made there
Bunyip : mythical outback creature
Bush : the hinterland, the Outback, anywhere that isn't in town
Bush bash : long competitive running or motorcar race through the bush
Bush oyster : nasal mucus
Bush telly : campfire
Bushie : someone who lives in the Bush
Bushman's hanky : Emitting nasal mucus by placing one index finger on the outside of the nose (thus blocking one nostril) and blowing.
Bushranger : highwayman, outlaw
Butcher : small glass of beer in South Australia - From the theory that a butcher could take a quick break from his job, have a drink and be back at work
BYO : unlicensed restaurant where you have to Bring Your Own grog, also similar party or barbecue

Aussie Slang...

2009-03-02T10:30:00.002+11:00

Australians are known worldwide for their distinctive expressions and slang. Just to give you a taste, here are some of those expressions, beginning with "A". Check back here for more!

Guide to Australian Slang
A
Ace! : Excellent! Very good!
Aerial pingpong : Australian Rules football
Amber fluid : beer
Ambo : ambulance, ambulance driver
Ankle biter : small child
Apples, she'll be : It'll be all right
Arvo : afternoon
Aussie (pron. Ozzie) : Australian
Aussie salute : brushing away flies with the hand
Avos : avocados

Jesus' Temptation in the Desert

2009-03-01T09:47:00.002+11:00

For thousands of years, it has been the custom of the Aboriginal peoples here in Australia to go on a "walkabout," an adolescent rite of passage where they head into the bush for up to six months to fend for themselves, retrace the "songlines" or paths and customs of their ancient ancestors, and imitate in their own way their forebearers' heroic deeds. A person was not considered adult until this experience was completed, and from that point on, the person took up new roles and responsibilities amongst the tribe.

It is hard not to think of Jesus' experience in the desert as a rite of passage of sorts, whereby he discovers that he has the wherewithal to transcend the temptations posed to him by Satan, and the faith he needs to move forward in his ministry. He takes up the prophetic mantle modeled by his forebearers and turns all of his energy toward his mission, proclaiming and revealing the Kingdom of God. While in the baptism, he experiences the revelation that he is the beloved son of God, it seems that it is only on the basis of this trial in the desert that this identity is proved. He knows now who he is, and what he must do. Strangely, it is only through this experience of temptation and trial that he discovers his mettle and comes to fully trust the providence of his Father. Perhaps this message is meaningful to us too?

Below is a reflection I found online concerning this passage in Mark's Gospel:

Mark 1:12-15

The Spirit drove Jesus out into the desert, and He remained in the desert for forty days, tempted by Satan. He was among wild beasts, and the angels ministered to Him.
After John had been arrested, Jesus came to Galilee proclaiming the gospel of God: “This is the time of fulfillment. The kingdom of God is at hand. Repent, and believe in the gospel.”

The good news which is Jesus Christ

The first thing to notice about Mark’s account of the temptation of Jesus is its brevity. Mark says everything in three unembellished sentences that do not even mention the content of the temptation. His account appears very bare vis-a-vis Matthew’s and Luke’s descriptive telling of the event.

To appreciate what Mark is trying to say, the reader must go back to the opening of the Markan Gospel, which reads like a title of the entire work: “The beginning of the good news of Jesus Christ, Son of God.” The original Greek expression can also be rendered in English with a slightly different nuance: “The beginning of the good news, which is Jesus Christ, Son of God.” When rendered this way, the term “good news” is understood not only as “concerning” Jesus Christ; rather, Jesus Christ is Himself the good news. The reader would then understand that Mark is not only giving information about Jesus Christ, but is rather making a disclosure about His identity. Thus, the bareness of the account of the temptation would come as no surprise because even here, Mark does not intend to tell his readers how the event happened, but to lead them to the identity of Jesus Christ.

Mark’s short account of the temptation is shot through with allusions from the Old Testament. When he speaks of Jesus’ being in the wasteland for forty days, one of the many events evoked in memory is the “undoing” of creation at the time of Noah, through forty days and nights of continued rains that brought about the killer-flood. Mark is insinuating to his readers that with Jesus’ forty-day sojourn in the desert, another “undoing” is about to take place.

He does not say it explicitly, but gradually leads his readers to recognize this through another allusion. He says that Jesus “was among wild beasts.” With this statement, Mark paints an image of peaceful coexistence, which is meant to remind the readers, first, of the pristine relationships of man and beasts that characterized creation before the fall (Gn 1:28; 2:19-20), and second, of the prophets’ vision of the coming age of salvation (Is 11:6-9; 65:17-25; Hos 2:18).

Thus, Mark leads the readers to identify Jesus as the second Adam, whose coming marks the dawning of the new creation. Jesus, like Adam, is tempted, but unlike Adam, He does not succumb. By His obedience, He counters the disobedience of the first Adam, and “undoes” the consequences of sin, thus ushering in the new creation, which is really a going back to the Creator. This idea of “going back” features prominently in the message that Jesus eventually proclaims as He emerges from the desert.

“Repent!” The Hebrew language conveys the idea of “repentance” with the word “shubh,” which literally means “to go back” to the right path, and therefore, to God. Jesus does not explicitly say how this return journey to God is to be carried out, but hHe immediately adds another imperative – “believe in the gospel!” To “believe in the gospel” is to “put faith in Jesus Christ,” for He Himself is the good news. To believe is not just to give one’s intellectual assent, but to commit oneself, to surrender one’s whole being to the object of one’s belief. This is how the return to God is to be carried out. To believe the good news is to commit oneself to Jesus Christ. This commitment can only lead to repentance, which is the return journey to God.

For a Christian, committing oneself to Christ is a moment-by-moment endeavor that stretches to the entire lifetime. Lest we forget this commitment, the Church sets aside forty days in the liturgical calendar to intensely remind us and call us to renewal.

SOURCE: “365 Days with the Lord,” ST PAULS, 7708 St. Paul Rd., SAV, Makati City (Phils.); Tel.: 895-9701; Fax 895-7328; E-mail: publishing@stpauls.ph; Website: http://www.stpauls.ph

Ash Wednesday... Lent Begins

2009-02-25T11:57:00.004+11:00

While some of you may be celebrating Mardi Gras, or Fat Tuesday, on this side of the world, we've begun the season of Lent with Ash Wednesday.

One of the tertians told a funny story this morning: apparently a maintenance man was cleaning up the church sacristy before mass and saw what looked like pile of soot in a big ashtray, sitting on the shelf near the vestments. Concerned that the white vestments not get dirty, he disposed of the ashtray in the wastebin and headed out the door. When the priest came back into the sacristy to bring the ashes out for Ash Wednesday service, he was dismayed not to see them where he'd left them. After a frantic search, he found the pile of ashes in the wastebin, along with some rubbish from the office next door. When he dumped the ashes out and collected them back into the glass dish, he failed to see that there was also a broken toner cartridge in the rubbish. It seems that the crosses marking the parishioners foreheads that year lasted a bit longer than usual... like a whole week!

A bit more seriously, as we know, Lent is offered by the Church as a season of spiritual renewal in preparation for the celebration of Easter. While it's typical that people give something up for Lent, like chocolate, or ice cream, there are actually three traditional practices: fasting, almsgiving, and prayer. Each practice is intended to help us develop three key relationships.

In fasting, we are invited to gently master our body's appetites and urges, in order that our physical cravings do not run our lives. As one who loves food and for whom vanity is the only antidote for obesity, fasting is a tricky business. However, as helpful as it is to fast from foods we're overly fond of, or drink, we might also be creative in pinpointing some habit from which to refrain, for instance, gossip, or having to be right all the time, or being the one in control.

If you went to Catholic grade school, you may recall during Lent that we were given little cardboard banks and asked to save up our coins for poor children in Africa. Almsgiving is not only about giving charity to others in need, it is also about examining our relationship to our material abundance and security, and discerning how much is enough. During this economic downturn, many of us are being forced into a more austere lifestyle. But the season of Lent includes an invitation to choose living more simply as a path to happiness, as well as generosity. Almsgiving might also be about growing in awareness, not only that there are people who live in desperate poverty, but also in understanding the systems and economies that contribute to this unjust state of affairs.

And finally, prayer... the means through which we grow in and deepen the relationship with God. Taking time out for prayer can be as challenging as doing the other things we know to be healthy, but are nonetheless hard to make into habits (exercise, taking a day off...). And as much as people use the analogy of human relationships, suggesting that we do not neglect spending time each day connecting with our spouse or best friends, so how could we miss time with God-- it just isn't quite the same. Sometimes I think the challenge is that we have a narrow definition of prayer, and we do not count as prayer the kinds of activities that do connect us with our deep desires, our aspirations, our sense of beauty, or pleasure, or higher purpose. Maybe the challenge this Lent could be to identify the way in which we each find ourselves already communing with God, and simply building on this, rather than adding a style of prayer that doesn't already feel natural. Prayer happens any time we turn our minds and hearts to God, and is worth any extra intention we might bring to making space for it in our daily lives.

As St. Ignatius, the founder of the Jesuits said, "may we use all the means available for us to make progress in the Lord," and may we all find this Lent a season that brings us closer to God, our neighbor, and our true selves.

The Taranga Zoo

2009-02-23T12:50:00.002+11:00

Ah, the life, right? Napping in the afternoon. Here are some shots from the Taranga Zoo, where four of us spent our Saturday. Even though it rained on and off, the animals didn't seem to mind.

The dingo, for real! No babies in sight...

If I could just reach a little further... lunch!

Notice the artistic composition...

After the Zoo, we took up Johann's suggest to refresh ourselves with German beer at a place in the Rocks, the old town part of Sydney, and then had a nice Italian meal nearby. A great way to spend a Saturday. I have to admit, as one who has not necessarily been good about taking vacations or really unplugging on a day off, I think I am starting to learn some good habits.

On Sunday, Canisius College hosted a tea after mass, giving the tertians an opportunity to meet some of the folks who come to liturgy here on a regular basis, and to enjoy a whole array of "tea cakes." And then I drove down to Manly to meet a friend and his family for the Sunday barbie... All I can say is, its a good thing that Ash Wednesday is this week and that Lent begins.

A Visit to St. Canice's Parish in Kings Cross

2009-02-21T10:49:00.002+11:00

Yes, this is a scene of the popular backyard "barbie," though there is not a shrimp to be found (they call them prawns here). Pictured is Brother Geoff Pearson, a Jesuit who teaches Religion and Mathematics at St. Ignatius College... doing a fabulous job with the chops.

Prior to entering the Jesuits, Geoff was an organizational and management consultant, but has primarily been teaching in what we would call secondary schools for the past eight years. Geoff and his community at St. Canice's Parish, Kings Cross, hosted our Tertian group this past Wednesday for a delightful barbie behind the parish house. Kings Cross is something like a cross between Greenwich Village and Amsterdam's redlight district, so the parish does a considerable amount of outreach to the folks in the area, ministering to the homeless, prostitutes, and new immigrants. The Australian branch of the Jesuit Refugee Service is also housed in the parish complex. JRS (http://www.jrs.org.au/) has been serving displaced peoples since 1980... really impressive.

Our group continued to explore the themes of cultural diversity and community life through the week, and thanks to Eileen Glass' gifted facilitation, we generated a number of ideas for promoting and deepening our common life, both while here in Australia in this temporary community and in the ones we will return to in the Fall.

Now we're beginning study of St. Ignatius' Autobiography, and the Jesuit Constitutions... foundational documents for us in the Society of Jesus. While these are things that the tertians have all read before, for many of us, we haven't given them much consideration since the Novitiate, between 15 and 20 years ago for many of us. For myself, it is a valuable exercise-- considering the experiences of Ignatius, and the intentions behind these core documents. More on all this later.

Finally, I had the chance to catch up on some of the movies nominated for Academy Awards... both Milk and The Reader were hard hitting and high quality, in my estimation.

Hope that you have a great weekend!

Building and Living in Community

2009-02-17T19:32:00.002+11:00

These days, our group is reflecting on the joys and perils of community, not in the ideal, but in the real world. Our facilitator this week is Eileen Glass, who is a formator for leaders in the worldwide L'Arche movement, creating community for intellectually disabled adults since 1964. (See http://larcheusa.org/)

Eileen has been involved with L'Arche since the early 1970's, and her stories of "mutually transforming love" are profoundly evocative and moving. She brings a powerful and no-nonsense authenticity to this topic of community, a topic that sends some of us running for cover. One quote caught my attention in particular: "the one who says they love community destroys community... the person who loves their brothers and sisters, this is the person who builds community."

Meeting up with Friends & Seeing Wildlife Up Close

2009-02-15T21:47:00.003+11:00

This week I had a chance to meet with a couple of friends I've made over the years who are involved in organizational and leadership development work. Earlier in the week I had dinner with Nick Freeman and his wife Min. I met Nick in Boulder this past year at the Integral Leadership in Action gathering-- he's doing great work helping organizations work to their full potential. And today I had the pleasure of re-connecting with Michael Hann and meeting his wife Emily, and their 6 mo Liam (pictured). Michael and I met around 2005 at a week long intensive workshop dedicated to an extraordinary theory/practice for systemic change, called Theory U/Presencing. I know that the Org Development world is pretty small, but nonetheless, I was still sort of surprised that that Michael and Nick are connected here in Sydney by a single degree of separation. Both are doing some great work on behalf of people and the planet... very inspiring!

Speaking of the planet, the guys and I spent a rainy Saturday afternoon in the Sydney Aquarium and the Sydney Wildlife World. I don't think the cute animal to the left needs any introduction. This particular Koala is doing what most Koala's spend 80% of their day doing... what a life!

Yes, the kangaroos are on the other side of a glass... I think they were willing to get that close in order to get out of the rain. These were the first ones I've seen up close... amazing animals! In fact, my feeling the whole day was one of amazement at the variety and wonder of creation. The animal and plant life of Australia is quite distinct from the rest of the world, due to a number of factors, including the timing of its split from the prehistoric landmass.

My favorite picture and moment of the day...

Sadly, we also got news this weekend about the fatal plane crash near Buffalo. This happened just a short distance from the homes of people I know. Again, I think of how small the world is, and how close knit the community is in Buffalo. Maybe it takes tragedies like this one and that of the wildfires here in Australia, or Katrina, or the Tsunami, or even the economic crisis to discover how interconnected and increasingly interdependent we are.

Sam the Koala, Celibacy, and Mildura

2009-02-13T22:08:00.003+11:00

This is Sam, the Koala. She was rescued by firefighters in the region of Victoria, one of many animals saved from the wildfires. Cute, no?

Some odds and ends... we just finished a week-long workshop exploring themes related to sexuality, celibacy, sex abuse, and the graces/challenges of chaste friendship. I know, sounds a bit odd for priests to be talking about sex. Actually, it was a really worthwhile time-- valuable for us as middle aged men facing the challenges of living celibacy for the next 30-40 years, and very valuable for ministry to people.
Next week, we move on to the topic of cultural diversity- another important topic for us as we engage the complex reality of globalization, a culturally diverse church, and the challenges of negotiating differences.

Also, we're beginning to discuss our apostolic assignments after the Spiritual Exercises. As part of our work, we're sent to various rural areas to offer retreats, and I found out today that I'll be sent to the town of Mildura in Victoria. This is an area north of the wildfires, a ways northeast of Adelaide. From what I understand, it is a town in a fertile produce growing region, located on the Murray river. I have yet to get more details, but it is going to be fun exploring another part of the country.

Lastly, I found out this evening at dinner about the tragic plane crash just outside of Buffalo. The town of Clarence is actually where one of my closest friends and his family are from... 49 people killed.

The Avian Life in Pymble

2009-02-12T21:04:00.003+11:00

So, we're back to the birds again... I was able to capture a shot of the elusive Kookaburra in the "bush" out behind the college. If you haven't clicked the link on my page to listen to its distinct call, you have to check this out. It's like a cross between a maniacal laughter and a baby crying. Give it a second to get to the middle of the recording to get the full effect. If you play it at work, the sound will be sure to attract some attention.

http://www.environment.nsw.gov.au/resources/nature/daceloNovaguineae.mp3

And then, there's the ubiquitous Sulphur Crested Cockatoo (I think the sulphur is on account of the fact that they come from hell!). You might wonder why, even how I could harbor such hateful feelings toward a cute looking bird. For whatever reason, we seem to have a flock of them that have made Canisius College home... and they have an ear piercing screech that sounds like the call a prehistoric pteradactyl might have made... at 5:30 am and then throughout the day. Let me tell you, they might appear to be big white innocuous birds, but wait till you hear a squadron of them swooping in over the lawn!

I know, you're thinking I sound a little imbalanced, and maybe it's true! For your amusement, below is a link to u-tube where these birds have their own video series...

http://video.aol.com/video-detail/sulphur-crested-cockatoo-01/288230385534736450/?icid=VIDURVPET02

Actually, the sad thing is that the fires have affected over a million birds and animals, including cockatoos. There's a very sweet story of a firefighter who rescued a Koala bear named Sam... picture to follow.

Meaning-making in the face of loss

2009-02-11T21:59:00.003+11:00

So many thoughts these days... I would imagine that the wildfires near Melbourne have been in the international news. The devastating effects of the wildfires have left a real pall over things here in Southern Australia. People are trying to make sense of the tragic scale of the losses, the horrifying and sad stories of both victims and survivors, and perhaps most inexplicably, the fact that several of the fires seem to have been the result of arson.

As was the case with Hurricane Katrina in the United States, there was scarcely a pause before politicians and climatologists, city planners and environmental groups began pointing fingers and ascribing blame. Certainly, there is responsibility involved here... the way that policies developed in favor of reducing carbon emissions have also put populations at risk by not doing controlled burns of the highly flammable eucalyptus forests. This was a failure to think through the potential consequences of these policies, and to take a complex, systematic, and long term view of the issues. And then there is the failure to initiate adequate warning/communication protocols that would connect people with the latest news about the dangers of the fire, and offer contingency plans to protect people. Worst of all, there is the criminal behavior of arsonists, who have, in the words of Kevin Rudd the prime minister, committed mass murder. And along with the finger pointing, there are certainly those who are still scrambling into action, joining volunteer rescue efforts, donating clothing and food, helping to contact relatives and friends of those who have died, been hospitalized, or are still missing. Indeed, there are still fires still burning and people still at risk.

At the same time, I have the same sense that I did immediately following 9/11--in addition to all the appropriate forms of reaction and response, the task seems to be to take some time and face the loss... absorb the pain of it, allow the reminder of our mortality and the fragile nature of life to sink in. My sense is that this task is usually too hard, too unbearable, and as a result, we swing into actions that are more in the service of helping us feel better than they are to really deal with the root issues. Perhaps I am biased too much by what I would call our reactivity after 9/11... I'm not sure.

Well, it's late and these days have actually been quite full with conferences. More about that later. G'night!

Some of my fellow tertians...

2009-02-10T17:40:00.002+11:00

This is Arthur Leger, a Jesuit from Fiji who has been the director of a school on Chuk, in Micronesia. If you don't know where Micronesia is, this is a must for Google Earth! Arthur and I lived in the same community when we were studying theology in Cambridge, Massachusetts.

This is Charles Sim from Singapore- enjoying a relaxing cuppa tea!

And this is Peter Scally, from the British Province-- also enjoying a cuppa tea (I suspect that Peter could have been a stand up comic, and perhaps he really is!). Peter is one of the originators of the "Pray as you go" podcast and "Sacred Space,"- innovative ways of helping contemporary Catholics to pray using the latest media.

Here are Gilbert Sunghera (a California province Jesuit working at Detroit-Mercy as an architect), Bruno Brantschen (a Swiss Jesuit who works with young adults), and Bill Clark (a New England Province Jesuit who teaches theology at Holy Cross). This was from our dinner out for Chinese New Year.

And here are Johann Spermann (a Jesuit from Bavarian who is a professional psychologist) and Simon Bishop (a British Jesuit who has done a variety of ministries with young adults, and just completed a short stint in British Guyana).

The Prayer of Jesus: The Silence of Life

2009-02-08T12:33:00.003+11:00

Today, I had the privilege of celebrating Sunday mass for the community that gathers here on Sunday mornings. In the gospel reading from the first chapter of Mark, Jesus is a man on the move-- liberating people from demons, healing the sick, raising up those who are cast down, and making whole those who are broken. It would seem that he barely takes a moment for himself, so urgent he is in his labors for others. However, early in the morning, he withdraws to a deserted place where he prays to his Father in silence.

Some might think that the prayer of Jesus must be different from our own, more special somehow. We might assume that Jesus heard God speaking to him directly and unambiguously. Yet one theologian I've read suggests that Jesus' experience of prayer was more like our own than less, and that he too experiences God's stillness and silence. Yet unlike a silence that is empty and somehow threatening, this is a silence that is full--what we might call the Silence of Life. It was perhaps in this Silence of Life that the relationship with Jesus' Father became most manifest to him as a relationship of intimate love and affection, mercy and profound acceptance. In the Silence, Jesus could discern more clearly the path he needed to walk, and the way to accomplish the Father's will, rather than the will of the world, which must have been a temptation. From this Silence, God's Word is manifest, the Good News that God is Love, and that God's intention and will for us is Life in its fullness. It is through the Silence of Life that Jesus is able to discern what magnifies the authentic Life that God intends, and all the ways that this Life is diminished.

Rather than see Jesus as a "do gooder," or a "Mr. Fixit" who is constantly acting on behalf of others whether they want his help or not, the "doing" of Jesus flows from his "being" which is nourished and formed in this Silence of Life. His action seems to flow from his contemplation, just as his contemplation is no doubt fed by his action.

I've been reflecting myself on how seldom I withdraw for prayer and allow myself to settle quietly into the Silence of Life, to become consciously present to the fullness of the Divine Presence. Instead, I am usually "busy about many things," as Jesus says of Martha in the Gospel. And even when I do take time to pray, so often it is busy prayer, about people I love, and for the wellbeing of the world. There is nothing wrong with this, of course, but I do notice how affected I am when I allow myself to quiet down and discover this Silence of Life, the fullness of this moment here and now in God's living presence. In that rare moment, I know who I am and what my life is for, who gives me life and for what purpose... and the false urgencies that usually push and pull me every which way seem to fall away.

Thomas Merton, a trappist monk and one of the most well known writers about the contemplative life, once wrote, "the soul is like a shy, quiet animal," and thus in order to commune with our own souls, we must learn to not only endure silence, but cultivate a habit and practice of silence in our busy lives. May the Silence of Life bring us into the fullness of this very moment, and help guide all the decisions and actions that flow from it.

On a more serious note... Brush FIres in Melbourne

2009-02-08T06:51:00.002+11:00

Please keep the people of Melbourne in your prayers. Every summer, folks here have to contend with brush fires, but this year, the heat wave and drought have combined for a deadly effect. See below:

** Australian bush fires turn deadly **
At least 14 people are killed in wildfires in southern Australia, the deadliest to hit the country for decades.
< http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/em/fr/-/2/hi/asia-pacific/7876205.stm >

Saturday at Newport

2009-02-07T20:19:00.003+11:00

This first picture says it all... a "study" day at Newport beach.

One of the many critters seen on this particular Saturday trip.

Some of the amazing colors here at the shore...

A modest little beach house donated to the Jesuits for their recreation.

"What?! We have to walk all the way down there to get to the water?"

Heat, Canisius College, and Arthur's Arrival

2009-02-06T12:38:00.002+11:00

G'day! I don't want to rub it in, but we're in the midst of a bit of heatwave these days... in fact, we're expecting temperatures between 100 and 105 degrees this weekend! I know that most of you at home are buried under snow and dealing with frigid cold, but the nice thing about the cold is that you can always put on another "jumper" as they call sweaters here. AC is not so fashionable here in Australia, so we're sweating it out with fans and cold showers (it is better for the environment, after all).

Here are a few shots of Canisius College, the spirituality center where the tertian program is housed. It was once a school of theology for Jesuits in training, but now is a combined novitiate, spirituality center, home for the "golden oldies"- as the retired men are called, and the tertian program. The statue of Jesus with his welcoming arms wide open is just below my window, and the porch is on the back side of the building, just outside the recreation room. It's a bit institutional, however, the warmth, good humor, and hospitality of the guys make all the difference. One of the golden oldies, Kevin MacDonald, celebrated his 80th birthday yesterday-- we had a fine little party for him and made sure to sing loud enough that even he could hear us.

And we're happy to report that after several weeks of trouble with immigration, Arthur Leger has finally arrived at the T-ship. Arthur is from Fiji, a country currently run by a military dictatorship and in a bit of tension with its international neighbors. Arthur and I lived together in Cambridge while studying theology, so it is very good to see him again!

Have a great weekend!

2009-02-04T20:39:00.000+11:00

Critters in Oz...

2009-02-04T12:54:00.002+11:00

I don't have much to report these days as life has slowed down considerably (by design), and we continue to spend morning listening to one another's interior life stories, with the afternoon open for reading, prayer, free time etc. You might think that this sounds like a great gig, but let me tell you, for many of us Type A's, slowing down is the hardest thing to do!

So, yesterday I spent some of that free time ambling through the Dalrymple Park Preserve just down the road... a lovely Gumtree, Ironwood, and Eucalyptus forest with lots of loud and colorful birds (still can't get used to the Cockatoos, which sound to my ears like something out of a horror movie). It was a great walk, and one I planned to repeat often. However...

This morning I was toweling off after an early morning swim (I know, the routine sounds rough!) when I noticed something like a scab just below my waist line on my hip. On closer inspection, it had legs! I could not believe that after years and years of hiking in the northeast of the US, I never got a tick bite, but a few weeks in Australia, and there the little bugger was. Since these things can lead to pretty nasty results no matter where they happened, I got right over the the doctor's office (called a "surgery" here... how's that for provoking a little anxiety!?) to have it removed. Sparing the details, the damn little bloodsucker was still alive, even after a good drubbing in the pool!

Ah well, live and learn... no more short pants for hiking in the forest! We'll see what other news to find as the days go on.

Happy Chinese New Year... the Year of the Ox!

2009-02-02T12:35:00.000+11:00

Last night, 10 0f us headed into downtown Sydney to join 60,000 Aussies for a Chinese New Year celebration... beginning with a fiery "Sichuan" meal, followed by a few hours of huge lantern floats, street performers, dancers and singers in native costume, and a kung fu demonstration... delightful! If you've partcipated in a family event involving a parade and huge crowds, you can imagine how difficult it might be to keep track of ten people, let alone ten guys with their own ideas of what they'd like to see, do, eat, etc. But I think it is a true testimony to how well we are doing in building community that this whole operation came off beautifully and we had a blast.

And incidently, the Year of the Ox is characterized as celebrating patience, and prosperity through hard work... something our Wall Street Barons don't seem to know much about.

If I'm not mistaken, the Superbowl is being played as I write this, despite it being Monday afternoon on this side of the world... its a funny thing how this time/space business works, isn't it?

As for what's happening around here, we continue to listen carefully to one another's "inner stories" this week... so amazing, the mystery of the way God works in each person's history, through all the relationships and circumstances of life. And for all the meaning making we might do trying to make sense of it all, there is nonetheless a sense that the mystery remains. What a gift to have this opportunity, both to share, and to listen to this mysterious unfolding for each of us!

Back from Gerroa- Ten Days of Paradise!

2009-01-31T22:39:00.001+11:00

Well my friends, the last ten days have really been a treat for many reasons. For starters, even though I've learned to love the ocean over the years (I grew up on one of the Great Lakes... but an ocean it was not!), I've never been on the water for more than a few days. Ten days at the beach, especially a quiet, clean, and scenic one like this, was like heaven.

The intention behind this time away was to really get to know one another at a much deeper level so that the twelve of us can support and challenge each other in this last phase of Jesuit formation. This involves the sharing of our "outer story" or the one that a biographer might write about each of us, as well as the "inner story," - our more private and personal experiences and the meaning that we make of them. We spend the better part of each morning making time for these stories, prayer, and liturgy. And then we spent the rest of each day as we liked... enjoying the beach, going for hikes and excursions, reading, and doing the cooking for the evening meal. Let's just say it was a balance I could get used to...

It has been a real treat getting to know these guys and hearing about the very diverse backgrounds we're coming from: the U.K., Singapore, Micronesia, Switzerland, Bavaria, the U.S., Poland... and enjoying people's amazing culinary skills! It's a bit late, so I might leave it at that for now. The one mishap was that I accidently my brand new digital camera, so will have to rely on the sharing of my brothers' photos for a while. Stay tuned!

Growing into the full maturity of Christ... and off for ten days in Gerroa!

2009-01-22T08:10:00.000+11:00

At our first conference with Adrian Lyons, the tertian director, there was a passage from our morning prayer that struck me as essential for all people who follow Christ. It is from Paul's letter to the Ephesians, chapter 4. What strikes me is the call to not only live as disciples who seek to imitate Jesus, but more to become the living presence of Christ in the world. I invite you to read this passage below:

Ephesians, 4

I, then, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to live in a manner worthy of the call you have received,
2: with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another through love,
3: striving to preserve the unity of the spirit through the bond of peace:
4: ² one body and one Spirit, as you were also called to the one hope of your call;
5: one Lord, one faith, one baptism;
6: one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.
7: But grace was given to each of us according to the measure of Christ's gift.
8: Therefore, it says: "He ascended ³ on high and took prisoners captive; he gave gifts to men and women."
9: What does "he ascended" mean except that he also descended into the lower (regions) of the earth?
10: The one who descended is also the one who ascended far above all the heavens, that he might fill all things.
11: ⁴ And he gave some as apostles, others as prophets, others as evangelists, others as pastors and teachers,
12: to equip the holy ones for the work of ministry, ⁵ for building up the body of Christ,
13: until we all attain to the unity of faith and knowledge of the Son of God, to maturity, ⁶ to the extent of the full stature of Christ,
14: so that we may no longer be infants... Rather, living the truth in love, we should grow in every way into him who is the head, Christ, ⁷
16: from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, with the proper functioning of each part, brings about the body's growth and builds itself up in love.

If you have thoughts about what it might mean to grow into the full maturity of Christ, please share your comments!

Today the fourteen of us leave Pymble, north of Sydney, for a villa house at Gerroa, on the beach. It won't be all fun and games as we will spend a good part of each day telling our story, inside and out, and building a deeper sense of community. As the 12 tertians are coming from many corners of the world, I imagine that our experiences will be quite diverse! And then along with the sharing, there should be a good amount of beach time, frisbee, BBQ, etc. All this to say that I will be offline until the 1st of February.

By the way, if you haven't found the recording of the Kookaburra on the site, not the one listed the maniacal laughter of the Kookaburra, but the other one, give it a listen. You have to wait until the middle of the recording for it to really get going, but it's a kick!

Some highlights from Obama's Inaugural Address

2009-01-21T12:27:00.000+11:00

Going over the transcript, these are the lines that spoke to me as a group of us listened to the live speech in the middle of the night here:

"On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord.

On this day, we come to proclaim an end to the petty grievances and false promises, the recriminations and worn-out dogmas that for far too long have strangled our politics.

We remain a young nation, but in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free, and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness."

"Time and again these men and women struggled and sacrificed and worked till their hands were raw so that we might live a better life. They saw America as bigger than the sum of our individual ambitions; greater than all the differences of birth or wealth or faction."

"Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again the work of remaking America."

"Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions, who suggest that our system cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short, for they have forgotten what this country has already done, what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose and necessity to courage.

What the cynics fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath them, that the stale political arguments that have consumed us for so long, no longer apply."

"As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals.

Our founding fathers faced with perils that we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man, a charter expanded by the blood of generations.

Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expedience's sake.

And so, to all other peoples and governments who are watching today, from the grandest capitals to the small village where my father was born: know that America is a friend of each nation and every man, woman and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity, and we are ready to lead once more."

"For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness.

We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus, and nonbelievers. We are shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this Earth.

And because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace.

To the Muslim world, we seek a new way forward, based on mutual interest and mutual respect."

"Our challenges may be new, the instruments with which we meet them may be new, but those values upon which our success depends, honesty and hard work, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism -- these things are old.

These things are true. They have been the quiet force of progress throughout our history.

What is demanded then is a return to these truths. What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility -- a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation and the world, duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character than giving our all to a difficult task.

This is the price and the promise of citizenship.

This is the source of our confidence: the knowledge that God calls on us to shape an uncertain destiny."

"At a moment when the outcome of our revolution was most in doubt, the father of our nation ordered these words be read to the people:

"Let it be told to the future world that in the depth of winter, when nothing but hope and virtue could survive, that the city and the country, alarmed at one common danger, came forth to meet it."

America, in the face of our common dangers, in this winter of our hardship, let us remember these timeless words; with hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come; let it be said by our children's children that when we were tested we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God's grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations.

Thank you. God bless you."

So, tell me about your experience? What do you hope for? What are you willing to give of yourself to achieve your aspiration?

First Day in Sydney

2009-01-20T22:04:00.000+11:00

On the first full day here, even though I was up at 4 am, I felt rather driven to explore Sydney while we have a few days free. Six of us took the train into the city center and spent the better part of the late morning traipsing around the botanical gardens, the Opera House, and then over the bridge. It was a spectacular day... blue sky, quite warm, though with a good stiff breeze blowing. Several times during the day, I just had to pinch myself that I'm actually here... seeing the famous Opera House up close after seeing it umpteen times in photos and on TV. Sydney is a gorgeous city, and I'm delighted that we'll have more time to explore it over the next several months. (see pictures below)

The twelve of us have nearly all arrived... one more to go, provided that his Visa issues are cleared. It's a great group so far-- diverse, friendly, easy-going, and very gifted. I think we're going to enjoy one anothers' company as much as we will also learn from one another.

A group of us are planning to gather in the middle of the night to watch the inauguration... and not just the guys from the States! This new president has really swept up enthusiasm and hope for change across the globe. It feels fairly unprecedented to me, and while I want to be somewhat cautious and measured in my own expectations, it is hard not to be moved by the soaring and exuberant sentiments being expressed by people all over.

We begin our program tomorrow, and then in a few days will head to a Jesuit villa house a few hours away to begin what we call faith sharing... getting to know one another and a more substantive level and building community. I feel excited and ready to begin...

MLK, Cockatoos, and 15 hours lag...

2009-01-20T07:01:00.000+11:00

For starters, I am struck by the coincidence of timing of Martin Luther King Jr's anniversary and the innauguration of the first African American president of the United States... how marvelous that in this very auspicious timing, we realize how much a country's culture can shift within a short period of time. So that even if we are far from seeing an end to racism in America, we nonetheless are aware of a new and powerful possibility... for the overturning of ancient biases.

MLK was a Christian prophet who understood that Jesus himself lived as an outsider, and that he had to work from the margins to bring about transformation at the center. MLK may also have anticipated that unconventional means would be needed to galvanize a people to change, just as Jesus understood this. May his sacrifice continue to bear fruit in greater equality, not only in the US, but in all nations. And may Obama, his family, and his leadership team be kept from harm as they attempt to serve the country during these difficult times.

On a less lofty note, I manage to get six hours of sleep this first night, but woke up to wild cockatoos sqwauking raucously in the Eucalyptus trees out back... roosters don't hold a handle to these birds when it comes to a pre-dawn ruckus!

And finally, I am still trying to make sense of being 15 hours ahead, and the fact that I will be watching the innauguration tomorrow in the middle of the night. Will head into Sydney today for a little look-see and hopefully have some picture for posting!

Day One Down-Under!

2009-01-19T20:33:00.000+11:00

This being my first blog posting and all, I feel a certain performance anxiety about setting the right tone to hook you just so... so what? Well, so that you might be tempted to check back once in a while, maybe to comment yourself, maybe to add a thing or two about what's important to you.

For starters, I am a 40 year old Jesuit priest from Upstate New York, and I am spending from late January thru early September of 2009 in Australia, completing that last formal stage of my Jesuit training. This will include living in community and studying with other Jesuits from around the world, doing several months of pastoral work/service, and making a month long silent retreat.

My intention is to use this blog a medium to post reflections on my experiences, to offer commentary on scripture readings, and to offer a conversation space for things I am passionately interested in... the emerging Christian community, adult development, transformative learning, transformational leadership, the Integral movement, etc. But I'll need more than a little help to keep this relevant, entertaining, and worthwhile.

As I just landed this morning and am limping along with just a few hours of sleep in the last few days, maybe I will leave things where they are, in their very rough and unfinished state...